But what if I'm small?
What if I'm slow?
What if I'm not --- rolling in dough?

What if I'm fat?
What if I'm shy?
What if I don't know-- how to say goodbye?

What if I'm sick? Sick as a dog...
What if I'm about as productive as a lump on a log?

What if I care? but only about me?
Even though it doesn't show externally...

What can I do?
What can I say?
How the hell, will I be okay?

Why does it even matter?
Between dental plaque and bottoming for life. Pizza crumbs and watery rice. I am soo special and lucky but I can't feel it because I never wanted to be small until I couldn't be anymore

Why do I want to be seen?
In a world of modest women
I was the raging narcissist
In the world of god and boundries
I was the ****** *****

Why do I want to be good?
In a world where no one will know
Where truths get half baked
And justice gets served cold

Why do I want to know?
In a world without any answers
Full of people I used to know
Until I betrayed them all

I tried to be good
Then I tried to be bad
Now I'm trying not to think about it

Thought I was precious
Thought I was a star
But turns out my dahlin I don't know who I are

It was societies fault
Everyone's but my own
But it don't seem that way
now that I'm grown

I can't seem to handle
This knife in my heart
Of not being talented
Enough for the part


I cannot believe
The things I have done
Can't look in the mirror
There's no place to run

I hate myself dearly
And my misery
I am disgusted by
This self pity

I lay on the floor
Wasting away
Waiting to be saved
Instead of saving the day

I'm soo delusional! It was all in my head! How can I be so blind? How didn't I know that I made it all up? Oh God I'm soo stupid!

I walk around with these delusions all the time and I never knew... oh God I'm sorry!

How could I get mad at you for things that I only ever imagined were there?!

Oh my God what have I done?! And now you're gone! But you were never really there. Not the way I thought you were anyway!

I thought I had a shot with you, how could I have ever thought that!
You hate me! You never want anything to do with me ever again!

How could I have not seen you all this time that I imagined you?
Oh God I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Og God save my soul! Help me please!

I wish to write a poem
About feelings of home
The plastic lice comb
Dressing in bath foam
I guess my childhood home
Is how i'll always think of home
I wish instead of Rome
All the roads would take me home