Bay
there is a light
streak in you
is it a scar?
Does it hurt?
It looks as though
something moved through you
or under you
leaving
such a stark reminder
that refuses to move with your currents
or maybe there's just
something missing?

Bay
I've always liked that
furry trim of yours
the one made of wood
it seems to be
leaning in expectantly
watching your movements
with a loving wonder
I hear it traps bad things init
and holds you on course
A retainer of twisted old spires

I see you there
through a fold in the treelike
I learned today
that you are stationary
yet I see you there
slowly creeping
here

The door has shut
but I have only realized
the solid wood in my face
not that I'm looking
through the cold glass
(how can it be so cold
when you were so warm
to the touch?)
at your light on the
inside

Cut off
everything I had learned
my new enjoyments
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
everyone I had met
my new friends
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
Everything that I had become
my new identity
and being
held at arm's length
uncertain in distance's grasp


Cut off
I am unsure
if I will get myself back
upon my return
or if I will even return at all
I am so separate
I question what was even real

My cries for attention
so loud
and tear filled
Ring in the ears
of only the willfully deaf

Graffiti is a beautiful thing
A splash of the soul
in an unlikely place
character and development
hardship and victory
every detail recorded
in ink
where mother big brother father of all
says should be bare
In the cover of my own
independence
I shadow in and shade
my very ****** skin
until I am a ****** no more
and I can see myself inside out
memorialized in permanence
that bespeaks adulthood
a grown up
graffiti

Poor you
all alone in a corner
Crowded in
by the dull furniture
say hello to me
I want to get to know
your lines and colors
even if they're all straight and gray
your movements and
personalities
no matter how still
Don't leave me without saying anything
you're so alone
just like me
and I'm sorry
If I ever gave up on you

The bird's company
is getting
lonelier
as the flock grows
All I hear around me
ever
a cacophony of
chirps
whistles
squawks
an endless song
of open inclusivity
I open my lion's maw
and release a sad bellow
the birds stop
and scream a unified friend
then it's back to the beginning
verse and verse again
and I'm all on my own
with a lonely view

All these pages between us
how will I possibly
express my love
that is not the love
You have?

That's not
foundation
under my nails
it's
failure
I have
failure
on my hands
But even worse
I have it
deliberately spread
all
over
my
face

Take my cold hands
in yours
one more time
I need your
effortless opposite warmth

Here's another
whiny poem
where I lyrically
complain
about
how he doesn't pay
any attention to me
even though I know full well
that he isn't
obligated to

A plane
A pane
so much and so little
separate the two
he and she
they and them
it's all a mirror
of many facets
each sees the other
and themselves
together yet apart
if they could but reach forward
touch skin to skin
glass on nails
so they'd see
their bent reality
unfold
in one whole

Nothing shatters
more easily
or
more painfully
than the
tender white hopes
of an unloved girl

Hey
you're new
and I like your face
and your humor
Let's be friends
How do I politely
invite myself to one of your parties?

I want to break
the glass
but I'm afraid
the shards will cut you
and then my
hind hands will mean
Nothing to you
I couldn't stop that
bleeding
no matter how
soft my touches
Probably because
my hands would be bleeding
too

His presence
begs me to look over
while
the awareness of his presence
Commands I close my eyes

Give it to me straight
a shot of reality
Don't bother with a chaser
I'm used to the burn
afterwards I'll be numb
anyway

And so the
broken-hearted
becomes a
heartbreaker
oh what a force
pain and lust
together are

I would tell you
to do what you want
with me
my body
but I already know
that's nothing

Shake me down
just try
I'm walking up
in the air
the wind
playing with my hair
like a lover
excited to have me back in his bed
after a long
long
time away

lift me up
I want to touch clouds
from your golden wings
they'll melt in the rain
but the fall
will be worth the ecstasy

Keeping a corpse
as company
cold hands to match mine
at least this one
stays
At least this one
listens
warmth it seems
corrupts

The best intentions
started a new
civilization
in the waves of youth
but even the magnificence
of newfound freedom
was fleeting
faded into a
dull sickly color

What did you say?
I'm wearing your words on
my wrist
instead of reading them
Flat before me

A broken pencil
and some cruel words
a nuisance
an uncomfortable memory of a fantasy
that's all I am
now

I need to quit this
bittersweet
Candy Man
sweet sugar
burns my eyes
he's rotting my teeth
out of my
***** mind

I don't share this view
Not with anyone I know
maybe I have my
pen and journal
but as alive as they are
they're just dead things
so really
I'm lonely

Smooth covers hold
breaking at the spine
the weight of my conscious

Countless cards and
Infinite ink just
so that you might turn around
and flick your eyes up and down
the length of my body
and
spread a soft smile
gently
warm and honest
across your flushed face
you may turn right back around
bashful
so nobody sees
but I saw
and it was worth
every word

I know I should have stopped
five texts ago
I understood your silence
I knew I wasn't wanted
but
sometimes talking to a brick wall
is better than talking to
nobody at all

Alone
in a darkened room
I have hidden
with the
chalkdust remnants
of a dissembled nation

I want to run away
like my mother told me to
but my feet are nailed
to the unforgiving uncertain
concrete floor

The thought of
seeing him
vis-a-vis
drains my
confidence
that soaked me
mère seconds ago
where there was fire
sickly butterflies
thrash

What's the impression you got?
I got that you were impressed
and now you're gone
so I'm confused and
abandoned

Quiet sincerity
and a deep brown stare
I like sitting here with you
engrossed in our philosophy
where will the conversation lead
that I could foresee wistfully
but a practical short time reality
pervades
so I am content with you before me

Answer me
Answer me
You don't understand
please
these ears were made for
laughter
love
the speech of friends
please
answer me
You don't understand
what silence does to me
I'm begging you
please
answer me
anybody
answer me

NEVER GO BACK
a finality I hope not
to hear
in my own fate
is it flexible?
I need the option

A proposal is not a proposition
and a step toward adulthood
is not
a step back from childhood

Second time
around
here we go
or we may not
so I'll board the merry-go-round
this carousel of disappointment
expectant as always
I shouldn't be

Unlikely on what ends?
How do I dream
When I never ever know
to begin with?

Take my hand
I'll show you how to
build a castle
with lofty ceilings
and a foundation
of curious cracked concrete
But the windows will be
wonderful stained glass
and the stairs
winding

Will these ones stay?
Not many do
My exposure is hard to handle
for long
it takes them time
time enough to raise my hopes
to a haven of peace
and love all around
for them to cut and run
cut and run
through my heart and over my soul
I am trampled and hewn and ******
from so many old stampedes
frightened well wishers
How will these fare?
How will I manage?

My ears are ringing
it's because nobody
is willing to hear
my cries for attention

My tongue is dry
is it from a lack of water
or a lack of love?
I'm not sure but
my head is splitting by the jaw
and your cheap medicinal tricks
won't solve a **** thing
they won't fill a **** hole

Have you ever seen
the inside of bones?
look into your own
the red mess
impossibly deep
pour it out like a slow night
watch it closely
the fragments fall
all you are on the floor
clarity comes
once that experience of
breaking and melting
comes to pass

I traded the view
which was lovely
albeit lonely
for this cramped
poorly-carpeted
hallway

She has blood in her hair
the girl she doesn't know
working both ways
imagining sensations that aren't there
inventing words and ignoring old sounds
Let's give her a hand
this unwitting princess
we all want to save her voice
we all want her to see her own crown

You're so
dry
you'll soak
any old
mean word
up