I smile all
warmth and
summer of best intentions
host of hopes in spring
lukewarm courtesy is all
I receive
so I just put my head down
to hide my frigid burning tears
ineffectually with my
cold steel hacked so short
and shove my numb hands
into the snow
I have packed into my
ample pockets

It's the tree of life
get it?
I hope you do because

I'm going in and out
and I need something to
ground me

and you need soil
something to hold

Crooked windows
show more
of their landed view
and they let more snow in
they who built an unsteady house
we need to fix the foundation
raise the structure
and put some books under it
Let's hope that stops the wobbling

Such a pleasant storm
hidden silent behind those curtains
of hair
I've carefully cultivated
more than ever before
But one side is exposed
so all can see the care
I've returned to taking

My pen is running from me
it knows the power it holds
The danger in my hand
that wields it

She has blood in her hair
the girl she doesn't know
working both ways
imagining sensations that aren't there
inventing words and ignoring old sounds
Let's give her a hand
this unwitting princess
we all want to save her voice
we all want her to see her own crown

A broken pencil
and some cruel words
a nuisance
an uncomfortable memory of a fantasy
that's all I am
now

Answer me
Answer me
You don't understand
please
these ears were made for
laughter
love
the speech of friends
please
answer me
You don't understand
what silence does to me
I'm begging you
please
answer me
anybody
answer me

Just because I
traveled down a
new road
doesn't mean I can't
revisit old footpaths
favorite strolls
in shady memory past
New destinations
good
not permanent

And so the
broken-hearted
becomes a
heartbreaker
oh what a force
pain and lust
together are

I'm bleeding bones
and weeping bile
everything hurts
just that much more
because you
stole my blood
and stole my tears

My head hurts
because you're forcing my jaw
shut
where you once
opened up an easy smile

Unlikely on what ends?
How do I dream
When I never ever know
to begin with?

I wish I didn't have to
pick my way
across each room
I don't want every
single step
to have to be
so carefully chosen
I want to run all out
this tiptoe dance
is tiring me

Awful spirit
reclined in a chair
sleeping in indifferent good humor
Hold your legs up
let us look on sideways
and don't you dare look back

The thought of
seeing him
vis-a-vis
drains my
confidence
that soaked me
mère seconds ago
where there was fire
sickly butterflies
thrash

Sometimes the worst
kind of stress
is the one you can't see
but feel
when you wake up
after thinking you were
safe
to breathe

dazed and confused
stuck in a murky stupor
the warmth of spring
and the lure of a free day
they tore down the calendar
and stole my books
so here I lay
unaware

Staring
glazed over
lost in a state of wonder
single planed
dimension of disembodied one
I find my courageous future
in the pinnacle
of a symmetric background
a whole wall of it before me
this is what we're dying for
in this moment above forward
and all beyond
us
so innocent a face
to your dark new feel
meta strange
wheel and float
you are mine
it is ours
this gives me hope
and a willingness to
grander cohesion
I wish this will all
be vibrant tomorrow

I traded the view
which was lovely
albeit lonely
for this cramped
poorly-carpeted
hallway

I walked myself into a
house of mirrors
where I'm slowly drowning
in my own well-wrought tears
I didn't get to say goodbye
so at every turn
I see myself
and choke on a grim hello

So rich and red
was the blood
when I cut my tongue
on an expression of love

Will these ones stay?
Not many do
My exposure is hard to handle
for long
it takes them time
time enough to raise my hopes
to a haven of peace
and love all around
for them to cut and run
cut and run
through my heart and over my soul
I am trampled and hewn and ******
from so many old stampedes
frightened well wishers
How will these fare?
How will I manage?

It's like I'm
building a house
but I don't know I'm
made to live in trees
and I don't know
stairs are supposed to go up
so I just
spiral in place
with hammer and nails
in hand
and an open white wall
future in mind
trying my best
my absolute best
to ignore the leaves
growing from the vines
wrapped around
each and every vein

Second time
around
here we go
or we may not
so I'll board the merry-go-round
this carousel of disappointment
expectant as always
I shouldn't be

Quivering moon
a reflection of your
old self
penetrating a bus window
or two
so bright aflame
I want to dance to you
as you dance alongside
your compatriot being

What's the impression you got?
I got that you were impressed
and now you're gone
so I'm confused and
abandoned

Oh the times we're living in
I can't feel my body
but for the burning in my throat
Bathed in talent
and guiding experience
fighting a cold numbness
lifting headrush
I lose the meaning
I lose the direction
But not the heart
so tell me
aren't these the times we're living in?

Alone
in a darkened room
I have hidden
with the
chalkdust remnants
of a dissembled nation

I don't have scars
I have words
buried into my skin
seeping deep past my flesh
through an innocent pen
wielded by a ruthless
broken poet

The turn of the corner
is where the rainbows
hide
learn to cut corners
(glass and walk)
you'll find transfixing
color

The best of intentions
has fed the worst of habits
birthing bitter memories
Echoes that crawl and creep
when you're not looking
into the shadows
where you pretend not to know
they are

I want to run away
like my mother told me to
but my feet are nailed
to the unforgiving uncertain
concrete floor

Countless cards and
Infinite ink just
so that you might turn around
and flick your eyes up and down
the length of my body
and
spread a soft smile
gently
warm and honest
across your flushed face
you may turn right back around
bashful
so nobody sees
but I saw
and it was worth
every word

My ears are ringing
it's because nobody
is willing to hear
my cries for attention

You missed your chance
his ears were free
But you hid silent
under the canvas where he
can't see
and won't want

You're so
dry
you'll soak
any old
mean word
up

If I sigh louder
will they notice?
At what decibel
will I sound damaged?
Do I have to scream
my hurts in their faces
to make them hear my pain?
To make them care.
My problems must air
in tears
and blood

I was broken
pieces of glass
on a hard unforgiving floor
You knew I was broken
You told me I was broken
yet you took up a hammer
and crushed
what I had left
of myself
into a dust
coarse
and painful even to look at

I wake up every morning
with blood between my teeth
so I keep my mouth
shut
as tight as I can
I don't want the red
in my friends' eyes
I clench closed harder
and bleed more
but then you say hello
and your deep voice
numbs my gums
and I'm not afraid
to give more than
a Mona Lisa smile

I have your name
caught in my throat
with every new
face
I smile upon
I want to swallow it
and find another
to put between my lips

Shake me down
just try
I'm walking up
in the air
the wind
playing with my hair
like a lover
excited to have me back in his bed
after a long
long
time away

lift me up
I want to touch clouds
from your golden wings
they'll melt in the rain
but the fall
will be worth the ecstasy

What did you say?
I'm wearing your words on
my wrist
instead of reading them
Flat before me

My smile
so 'easy'
muffles the sound
of the scream
swirling in my chest
ready to tear through
my heart
and break past my
flashed teeth

A winding all
a labyrinth of dreams
She is lost and alone
each room is
a history of a world
that is not her own
and she opens every door
with so much pain
leaving it open
forcing herself not to look back
at the ****** knobs and handles
She pushes her feet
her eyes
forward
wherever that may turn to be

I don't share this view
Not with anyone I know
maybe I have my
pen and journal
but as alive as they are
they're just dead things
so really
I'm lonely

The best intentions
started a new
civilization
in the waves of youth
but even the magnificence
of newfound freedom
was fleeting
faded into a
dull sickly color

Keeping a corpse
as company
cold hands to match mine
at least this one
stays
At least this one
listens
warmth it seems
corrupts

A gargantuan
among flimsy slips
the card
Where the world was dropped