There have always been
dead smiles between
my teeth
Dishonestly
I resent them

Shadow and sun
converge on sinkholes
who could have known
Snow could be both so
strong and fragile
to support the entirety
of a complete
and a slight
profile?

Alone
in a darkened room
I have hidden
with the
chalkdust remnants
of a dissembled nation

My ears are ringing
it's because nobody
is willing to hear
my cries for attention

It's the deadpan
he said
moving his hand
across his face
No
It's me
I thought right back

Somewhere in the apology
I lost my direction
a nervous outpouring
commingled with red heat
In the most obvious of places
and well
my train derailed
in a flurry of regret

My pen is running from me
it knows the power it holds
The danger in my hand
that wields it

My smile
so 'easy'
muffles the sound
of the scream
swirling in my chest
ready to tear through
my heart
and break past my
flashed teeth

My tongue is dry
is it from a lack of water
or a lack of love?
I'm not sure but
my head is splitting by the jaw
and your cheap medicinal tricks
won't solve a **** thing
they won't fill a **** hole

I traded the view
which was lovely
albeit lonely
for this cramped
poorly-carpeted
hallway

A gargantuan
among flimsy slips
the card
Where the world was dropped

The best of intentions
has fed the worst of habits
birthing bitter memories
Echoes that crawl and creep
when you're not looking
into the shadows
where you pretend not to know
they are

So rich and red
was the blood
when I cut my tongue
on an expression of love

You missed your chance
his ears were free
But you hid silent
under the canvas where he
can't see
and won't want

I don't have scars
I have words
buried into my skin
seeping deep past my flesh
through an innocent pen
wielded by a ruthless
broken poet

A broken pencil
and some cruel words
a nuisance
an uncomfortable memory of a fantasy
that's all I am
now

Answer me
Answer me
You don't understand
please
these ears were made for
laughter
love
the speech of friends
please
answer me
You don't understand
what silence does to me
I'm begging you
please
answer me
anybody
answer me

Keeping a corpse
as company
cold hands to match mine
at least this one
stays
At least this one
listens
warmth it seems
corrupts

You're so
dry
you'll soak
any old
mean word
up

I don't share this view
Not with anyone I know
maybe I have my
pen and journal
but as alive as they are
they're just dead things
so really
I'm lonely

lift me up
I want to touch clouds
from your golden wings
they'll melt in the rain
but the fall
will be worth the ecstasy

Shake me down
just try
I'm walking up
in the air
the wind
playing with my hair
like a lover
excited to have me back in his bed
after a long
long
time away

Let's destroy her
softly
so she knows
It's all her own
innocent undoing

I walk alone
strut and tall
I fly
by
all leather boots
and smeared eyeliner
with a poisoned lip
you can't touch
my black lace
or wild hair
I have a ******* tongue
and no ***** for eyes
and a rhythm in my
woman's hips
Don't you see me flying?
smirk

Smooth covers hold
breaking at the spine
the weight of my conscious

dazed and confused
stuck in a murky stupor
the warmth of spring
and the lure of a free day
they tore down the calendar
and stole my books
so here I lay
unaware

Unlikely on what ends?
How do I dream
When I never ever know
to begin with?

Go on
Dig nails into my hands
for frustration
at their creating
nothing

Sometimes the worst
kind of stress
is the one you can't see
but feel
when you wake up
after thinking you were
safe
to breathe

I'm clicking my pen
against my teeth
thinking of you
hoping you'll hear
I don't know to what end
but I don't want it to end
some beginning things
would be lovely

Will these ones stay?
Not many do
My exposure is hard to handle
for long
it takes them time
time enough to raise my hopes
to a haven of peace
and love all around
for them to cut and run
cut and run
through my heart and over my soul
I am trampled and hewn and ******
from so many old stampedes
frightened well wishers
How will these fare?
How will I manage?

A proposal is not a proposition
and a step toward adulthood
is not
a step back from childhood

Close your eyes little girl
close them and dream
Dream of a day
when all you want is what you have
Dream of a you
completely yourself
Dream of a future
you can live with
Close your eyes little girl
close them against the reality of now
but don't forget
it's what you have to get through
first

Quivering moon
a reflection of your
old self
penetrating a bus window
or two
so bright aflame
I want to dance to you
as you dance alongside
your compatriot being

What's the impression you got?
I got that you were impressed
and now you're gone
so I'm confused and
abandoned

Quiet sincerity
and a deep brown stare
I like sitting here with you
engrossed in our philosophy
where will the conversation lead
that I could foresee wistfully
but a practical short time reality
pervades
so I am content with you before me

Oh the times we're living in
I can't feel my body
but for the burning in my throat
Bathed in talent
and guiding experience
fighting a cold numbness
lifting headrush
I lose the meaning
I lose the direction
But not the heart
so tell me
aren't these the times we're living in?

It's the tree of life
get it?
I hope you do because

I'm going in and out
and I need something to
ground me

and you need soil
something to hold

Awful spirit
reclined in a chair
sleeping in indifferent good humor
Hold your legs up
let us look on sideways
and don't you dare look back

Just because I
traveled down a
new road
doesn't mean I can't
revisit old footpaths
favorite strolls
in shady memory past
New destinations
good
not permanent

I walked myself into a
house of mirrors
where I'm slowly drowning
in my own well-wrought tears
I didn't get to say goodbye
so at every turn
I see myself
and choke on a grim hello

Have you ever seen
the inside of bones?
look into your own
the red mess
impossibly deep
pour it out like a slow night
watch it closely
the fragments fall
all you are on the floor
clarity comes
once that experience of
breaking and melting
comes to pass

Nervously shoveling snowcaps
in my face
while watching in vain
for whitecaps
the only calm of the day

The turn of the corner
is where the rainbows
hide
learn to cut corners
(glass and walk)
you'll find transfixing
color

I have your name
caught in my throat
with every new
face
I smile upon
I want to swallow it
and find another
to put between my lips

I wake up every morning
with blood between my teeth
so I keep my mouth
shut
as tight as I can
I don't want the red
in my friends' eyes
I clench closed harder
and bleed more
but then you say hello
and your deep voice
numbs my gums
and I'm not afraid
to give more than
a Mona Lisa smile

The thought of
seeing him
vis-a-vis
drains my
confidence
that soaked me
mère seconds ago
where there was fire
sickly butterflies
thrash

The more you look
the more you see
little things
like a patch of red
amongst neatly clipped
chocolate hair
endearing little traits
pieces of a visual whole
that tie the vision together

My strong convictions
which I had
written out on my arm
are fading
and I'm begging them
to stop
to stay
but
I can't see ten enough
anymore

I still remember how
you murmured
empty love words
against my mouth
in that dark room
where our skin touched
and for the briefest of moments
our hearts met