You make me laugh
like I've never felt
any pain in my entire life.
And when my eyes start
to water because you
have said something
so horribly comedic once
again, it is not because I
am sad; it is because
you are the only person
who can make me feel
so infinitely happy
when hours before
I felt like dying.

I cannot remember
a day in my life
where I did not
feel as if I was
supposed to have
someone next to me.
I have always yearned
for a soul to share
the most intimate,
painful, and beautiful
moments of my life with.
But now it is no longer
a soul I desire.
It is a person.
It is you I want by my
side as I look out at
a view of infinity
or hear the music
my heart craves.
You are the soul
I've always searched for;
then, now, and always.

And sometimes you
get caught between
wanting to know
and wanting the moment
to last.
Because how do you
measure time when you
do not know how much
you have left.

So I cried
and I cry
and I cannot stop
because she wants
the exact same
things I want from
you.
Except, she gets
them and all I get
is empty promises
and some more
pain and sleepless
nights that you will never
comfort me through.
Being in love with
you is the most
tragic and beautiful
thing that has ever
happened to me.
You are my
Hotel California and
now I can never
leave.

I'm so in love
with every version
of your soul.
I am fascinated
by the catacombs
in your broken and restless
heart.
There is nothing
I adore more
than you.
I love every single
version of you.
And all I can
hope is that maybe
you love one version
of me.

And I don't like
how I feel whole
again just because we had
another conversation that
lasted in to 5 a.m.
Because quite frankly,
I was horrified that may
never happen again.
It scares me how
much I needed that
and never even knew.

I do not have
to reread your words
or call you to hear them one
last time;
they are all I hear in my mind anymore.