I think to myself,
"If you were here tonight I'd be okay. Everything would be okay."
But there wouldn't be a problem in the first place if you weren't there and I wasn't here.
I would burn bridges, construct temples, rob a bank, or jump off a bridge if I knew it would get me to you.
There's very few things that could stop my desire to want you.
to need you.
I don't know what made me willing to go to such extremes for you,
but I remember when.
I realized rain would taste better with someone holding you and that movies aren't supposed to be watched alone
and that books should be read with you and hikes should be hiked with you and food should be eaten with you
and nights should be slept with you and poems should be heard with you and car rides should be driven by you
and that life, my life, should be lived
with you.

You could take it all away right now.
With one singular buzz of my phone you could stop my anger from boiling over
and my thoughts from imagining you with her.
I'm waiting restlessly and angrily at 2:59 a.m. wondering where the ******* are
and hating your lack of vacancy and loving every single part of you.
You are so beautiful to me and I need to know
I have to know that when I get like this, punching walls at 3:00 a.m. that you'll come out of the shadows and stop me.
I need you to grab me and hold me until I'm okay again.
You can stop me, but you are the only one at 3:02 a.m.

If I were to disappear or die
I wonder how many would morn
and how many would cheer.
My presence is often unwanted
and my soul is imperfect as well as my wrists.
I am the opposite of the norm and I wish so desperately
to go unrecognized so that I could disappear and no one at all
would miss me.

You are the most precious thing I have ever found.
Your choice of words and the thoughts you conjure up
make my fingers tingle
and my soul desire to inscribe your mind
on to my own.

You were oblivion.
He was the ocean.
In you, I was forgotten.
In him, I was infinite.