If I could remember it,
I would probably just remember the smell of ***** and the magnolia candle you gave me.
As the candle burned its last bit of wax, and the new year tumbled in, we were kissing on my bed.
The only thing I remember was your tongue and how strange it felt in my mouth.
It did not belong there.
I greeted you first with familiarity, then drunkenness, then disgust.
Is our friendship forever ******?
I didn't mean anything in kissing you, and I'm sure you didn't either, but now I'm at arms length from someone who's arms used to hold me.

Crush my eyes in your fists.
Take away what I have using what you love.
Tell me I'm beautiful once I can't see it for myself.
I'll take your word for it.
I love love love you.
Things never hurt as much as you say they do.

The frozen stars drift across a landlocked sky.
I feel free with your chains around my wrists.
The blood that stains them is wine, and believe me when I say God himself couldn't make a berry this sweet.
I know you'll tell me what she looked like, and I know you'll tell me what new bruises have used her skin as canvas.
Don't let me go.

No, no, no.
I don't remember exactly what I said.
I don't remember exactly what had happened.
I do not remember exactly what I was planning to do after that.
All I remember was the moment that a trust we'd spent decades building was shattered.
I can still hear it, hollow and brazen.
I can still feel it, emotional and desperate.
I've spent months trying to move past it, as you told me I should.
I was just being hysterical, there was no other way to calm me down.
Our broken glass love is held at my throat every time I try to talk to you.
I'm not asking for the relationship we once had, I'm not even asking for a new one.
All I want is for you to know that I'm still bleeding, and you're the only person with bandages.

The hardest part of growing up is realizing that you like who you were more than who you are.

The light glimmers off the water like it did upon your eyes.
The day when I first met you was the first I really cried.
Wind blows through the trees like my voice within your hair.
But when you love someone like me it's tough to always care.