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Maddie Lane Mar 2014
You
I brushed the taste of your kiss away,
but I can't scrub away how it made me feel.
There is something so marvelous about the way our lips fit together,
and I can't seem to forget it
(even thought I know I should)
Maddie Lane Mar 2014
there's a leash around my neck and you're the one in charge.

For a long time I've known that,
I let you **** me around with your wild emotions.
If I ever strayed too far I knew you would pull me back in,
sometimes I didn't mind the leash.

Now it's different,
the leash has managed to wrap itself around my heart
and you tug on it whenever you feel like it.

Careless,
that's the word I would use to describe you.

I had thought I knew you,
I let allowed myself to be put on a leash,
I trusted that you'd never pull too hard.

I trusted that you would never let go.
Maddie Lane Feb 2014
I should have grabbed the letters that spell my name
when the spilled from your mouth
(for the last time)
Maddie Lane Feb 2014
to scream,
to yell,
to curse whoever brought you my way.

I can't.
I end up in tears,
somehow with hope that appeared from nowhere that you somehow managed to ****.
I end up talking about you constantly in hopes of not getting caught up in my own head.

I will never
understand what happened.
I have lost myself before but I would never do what you had done.
I would never turned my back on anyone,
especially not someone who would move the sun if I said it was too bright.

I hope.
That you realize exactly what you're losing.
Someone who understood you, who stayed with you even when things fell apart.

I understand.
I have my own flaws,
I have demons I try to fight off, and that sometimes I'm not strong enough.

I never.
Expected this from you.
I never expected to feel this way.

I want to know what happened, I need to understand where this all went wrong.
Maddie Lane Jan 2014
I                 had thought different, I
thought    that you were the one that was meant for me
,                I figured that our differences is what made us what we were.
I               should have known what this was, I really
was          certain that this would only make us better, I hate to be
wrong.     I guess in the case that is (was?) our relationship, I was wrong.

                                         I was
                                        caught
                                       off-guard.
Maddie Lane Jan 2014
I'm not good with my words,
or my abundance of feelings.
But I do know when I feel something,
and I've never felt anything like what I feel with you,
when I'm hiding from the world inside your arms.

Disappointment hits my like a brick,
I don't know how to do this.
Being alone is not something I'm good at,
something I've never been good at.

Thoughts crowd my mind like bodies crowd the chaos that is Times Square.
I want nothing more than to fall back into the comfort that I once knew,
that comfort that no longer exists.

Where are you now?
And I'm so sorry.
I cannot think of anything besides borrowed lyrics to describe how I feel.
I cannot think of words to think the betrayal that I feel,
this year has been rather tumultuous,
and I thought you'd be there to catch me when I fell.

I'm falling.

Where did you go?
Maddie Lane Jan 2014
I need a place to cram my memories.
Someplace safe, nothing permanent, but maybe permanent.
I need to change my hair and get a hobby and some new friends and do something interesting.
I need to be interesting.
I need to feel wanted, not worthless.
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