because the sun
shines
alone -
it takes up the whole sky
and it is the only thing that makes the day bright.
and when it has to share the sky
with more than a few clouds,
it pouts
and hides
and the sun
is selfish.

because the moon
stays.
it shares the sky with its thousands of stars,
and together they make the night more beautiful
than anything could
alone.
it goes away slowly, so that we won't miss it
all at once,
and if it's gone completely then we know -
it's only for a night
and only because it has to.
it will be back
because the stars aren't the same without it.

the moon is better than the sun because
without the moon
it would just be us
against
the night.

this day i'm having?
it's the kind when i feel like i am the stupidest
and least creative
and least talented human being in the world
(and my heart weighs ton upon ton)

and i'm not sure about anything -
i'm not sure about the boy i loved yesterday
and i hope to god he'll be the boy i love tomorrow.

and i can't do anything
except sit
and feel tiny.

this day i'm having?
when i feel like
everyone is against me and
nothing is certain and
everything is terrible and
how the **** am i going to make it through the next hour, much less the next day?

this day i'm having?

****.
you wouldn't believe it.

how come when i heard that song
whose words stabbed straight through my ribs
you weren't the boy
i thought of?

how come i feel like
you wouldn't care
if you were.

people who think that love is all heart and no hands?
they're wrong
(it's all in the wrist, baby girl)

people who think that life is all black and all white?
they're wrong
(it's all in the colors, pretty boy)

people who think that people are all this and all that?
they're wrong
(we're next to nothing, my friends
in terms of what we think we know)

people who think that love is all heart and no hands?
they've never been in it.

if you think that i don't love you?
well then, i'll write a poem for you,
scrawl it on the walls for you,
and cast it out to sea.
i'll sing it to the corners for you,
wrap it round the world for you,
i'll tie it to the sails for you,
and cast it out to sea.
i'll breathe it through your lungs for you,
hold it to your heart for you,
i'll try to find the words for you,
and cast them out to sea.

i'll write it on the walls for you,
i'll wrap it round the world for you,
i'll breathe it through your lungs for you,

we'll cast it out to sea.

i feel dwarfed by those words
(more beautiful than mine,
more eloquent, original, and free)
and by my family's muddled history,
the trials and the things they overcame.
i feel humbled by my father's love
(his miracle baby girl)
and i wish i felt anything like i deserved it.
what have i done?
written some words and painted a few pictures,
and that's nothing compared to the
things it took to get me here, the loves and the losses.
people struggled every day for the
future i can have,
and what if i don't take it
(it could simply slip away).

i feel dwarfed by the expectations,
trampled by my fear,
i feel humbled by the trust they have in me
and i wish i felt an ounce of it.