I lay my head down
On this uncomfortable couch
& try to find ways to make it
Through this last week.

Four months of sleepless nights
Has passed me by alongside
Two seasons but I swear
This year was different.

Its like the weather had no transition
It felt like just yesterday
That I held my chin to my chest
In efforts to keep out the Wisconsin snow

Now its the end of June
& the grass is green again
But I have this lingering feeling
That I have over stayed my welcome

I'll soon return to the valleys of California
Where she waits for me just like she has
For too **** long but she tells herself
One more week & I'll be home

I know I don't belong here
So I lay on this couch & try
To find ways to make it
Through this very last week...

Four months of sleepless nights
& a whole summer to make up for
All the days we spent apart

A whole summer to make up for
Every
Lonely
Week.

It was the saddest thing I'd ever seen
A single tear rolled down her cheek
But she quickly wiped it clean

Without a single sound or change in expression
The blood flowing from her veins showed how easily
One can give in to depression.

The thunderstorm had ended
There was no longer lighting flashing across the sky
I had nothing golden to say tonight
So I laid my head down and asked myself why

Why can't I get you out of my mind?

So now the rain washes off last weeks misery
And I'm scrambling to find beauty in my words
I scream the deafening truth across seas
But still my love for you is unheard

I suppose there's nothing to do but sleep away the days we'll spend apart.
I'll close my eyes now & hope soon to hear the beating of your heart.





Tuesday 1:13 a.m.

I'd like not for you to be
Sympathetic.

I'd like for you to tell me
Just how strong I look.

Although I have no muscles
Just how strong do I look?

With all my scars & my broken heart
She loves me still.

But she knows not of sadness.

I'd like for you to look at me
& just know,

Now that our eyes have met
I've made it this far.

All
For
You

So darling,

I'd like not for you to be
Sympathetic.

I'd like for you to tell me that I'm home now
So I don't have to bleed anymore.

I'd like that a lot.

she let her blunt hang lazily between tight lips
i loved the way the smoke smelled as she exhaled
she couldnt resist calling me names she had made up for me
i cant say i mind that she calls me what she pleases.

sleep still in the corners of her eyes as she crawls out of bed
she could never know just how beautiful she is to me
underneath her false nails & eyelashes
lies a mysterious cavern waiting to be explored.

reluctant fingertips collide with her hips as we first kiss
how long have we been waiting for this, my dear?
delayed conversation carries on deep into the hours of the night
better late than never, i suppose.

120 hours, 7200 minutes, 43200 seconds until I have to leave again.

120 hours, 7200 minutes, 43200 seconds to make you fall in love with me.

120 hours, 7200 minutes, 43200 seconds to make up for all the lost time.

i asked her "where have you been all my life?"
the corners of her lips curled upward with her reply
"ive been waiting right here for you darling"
with sincerity in her eyes.

oh, but, lover... my innocence has come & gone
i ask you please refrain from abandoning me too.
for i must admit;
ive grown quite fond of you.

as i make my way back from California
like driftwood floating along the river
i smile & wave goodbye to you, my sweet
all though i know it is no consolation

you cant understand why i had to go
but there are many reasons i cant stay home

so as our last hour comes to an end
do not say farewell, my love, ill be back again

Your eyelids so heavy you cant remember the words you had written the night before
Words so heavy that they weigh down your heart like an anchor
Dragged out to sea unwillingly
Do we float?
Or do we sink?
Laying underneath the waves in the sands
Its almost an eerie feeling to listen to my voice singing above the surface
You listened.
But you did not hear.
Now my ship has come & I must flee these waters
But do not be sad my dear,
For you chose to sink & never to surface
Knowing how badly I needed you near.

So ill go home to California & leave Milwaukee behind
In hopes that what ive been looking for is waiting for me to find.