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to everyone I’ve ever loved

i.
you were the first
you taught me so much
i spent six years loving you
and you never loved me back
you taught me how to quit
how to give up
how to fail
my only wish is that i learned sooner

ii.
i never knew that a simple “thank you”
could hurt the same as cold steel
carving up my body

i offered you my heart
and you told me
i could keep it

iii.
i’m sorry


iv.
you’ve ruined me
to this day i still dream of you
i cry out from fitful sleep
and wake with your name upon my lips

every word I write
is a futile attempt
to relive the blissful moments
i spent in your presence

the distance between us
is an ocean of sorrow
and i
cannot
swim
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
JM
Here and now,
basking in the echoes
of your voice,
I feel your hands on me.

Hands I've never seen.

I run my fingers through
your ironed hair
and softly kiss your cheek
as the stains of memory
fade.

Toad legs and tattoos
intertwine; skin to skin,
we become one.

Within you, I shed
my shadows.
Surrounding me,
your fears fall away.

This is my here and now
as the night blooms
and sleep gathers dust.
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
Rob Rutledge
The Aces check their sleeves,
Hearts rippling across the breeze.
The Queen arises
Slowly,
Torn dress ripped at the knees.

The Jack saw his fill
And quickly took his leave.
Stood trembling in a doorway,
Mind struggling to believe...

The King was an alcoholic,
It was widely known to be so,
Each eve he would sit solemn,
Wine in hand and sword on show,
Clapping to the Jokers' japes
As he danced and sang
About love and fate.
But how was the King to know?
Not two rooms away
His wife had lain,
With a smile and a *****.
Creating a cuckold and a fool...

The Jack had had enough
And promptly marched
To the throne room.
Armed with only knowledge,
Unleashes inevitable typhoon.

The winds will rise,
This house shall succumb,
Imploding inwards
Till the house is done.
And all that remains
Among ash and decay,
Broken hearts and broken spades,
Is the Jokers last laugh.
A mockingbirds call as daylight fades.
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
UHG
There is a work of art in the proportions of your body; a song in the rhythms of your movements. You can't see it, I know you don't believe me, but you are the most extraordinary creature I have ever had the pleasure of being acquainted with. If I were able, I would show you the beauty in your shoulder length auburn hair, and how it flows over your shoulders like a waterfall of silk. I would show you the steely grace in the strong chords of your neck as they ***** downwards into your perfect breast, and laugh when you protest that it might be compared to that of a twelve-year-old boy. I would show you the delicate loveliness of the lines creased deep in your palms, like a map of all that you have touched or felt in the years leading up to this moment; lines that I would follow to the ends of eternity, if only you would allow it. If I were able, I would study you. I would take notes with my fingertips on the tender skin of your spine and pay a kiss to each vertebra, like a tariff to a toll booth on the road of your body. If you would let me learn you, I would be the most studious attentive student there ever was; keen and detailed when practicing my new-found knowledge. Yet somehow, you are blind to this. But oh how I long to show it to you. Oh how I long to show you all the ways in which I want you. All the ways in which I wish you were mine. You cannot see your own perfection, listening more to the voices of doubt and insecurity more than to those of love and self-confidence, but oh how I wish you could see yourself in all the ways I do. And someday, I will make you see it. This, I promise.
This was actually written to a friend, but for some reason my brain turned it slightly ******...
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
JM
It's only you,
my dearest, my darkest;
it's only your
soft voice I hear
in the small hours.

These lilac bushes breathe
your name and the soil listens,
remembering everything.

It's only a whisper
of rose oil and
amber, of silk and
skin.

Just a whisper.

It's only you
in the small hours.
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
hkr
february
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
hkr
f e b r u a r y
the month we all went mad
in parallel to the month of august
when we all pledged
right hand up, against our hearts, our chests

we are sane and strong and good

we all pledged
to stay well

six
months
later,
we toast to those people
those people who are unrecognizable, now, in the fog of the glass

they draw x’s and o’s with their polished nails
and blow desperate, sticky kisses
so we know that they were us
if only for a minute

our saints of the past
won’t cease ******* us demons,
when february has passed
they will be back

then we’ll blow fairy dust off our fingertips
& wake up
with ******* on the carpet.
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
hkr
fireflies
 May 2013 m0ldylungs
hkr
you won't let yourself love me
but every so often your feelings
slip
through
the
cracks
and i catch them like fireflies
trap them in a glass jar
as reminders on the days
when things are bad.
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