forgot i was able
forgoe the sugar cane
horse towed them over the edge
coarse hair
coerced into the trap
willing and able
are you able?
are you billing me?
is this thrilling?
have we been feeling
the same?
come over here
something else over there
i'm forgetful
i'm a disgrace to the top
upper crust societors
upper cut so much science
tons of honor
tons more scholarly journals
hurtled over the canyon wall
carried by the wind to those unlistening
wishing they could hear you
sifting thorugh the river for rocks
to deliver you
giver of too many
stories we already know
tore off all of our clothes
promised tonight would be
different than so many
others i laughed at
others i couldn't have
summer is ours to be
somewhat more into fear
someone to hold you dear
come one come all to hear
believer of something more
deliverer of sudden storms
of folk tail magic token
now open your eyes to your own faults
now look to the sky and know the hawks
are staring down with hungry eyes
they're bearing down they see you in the crowd
falling allover selfish rags
hagship tailors
flag waving tagless sleeve cutters
closing shutters in your mechanism
exposed to low level flash bulbs
just enough to imprint the entire night into something more
we would never remember if not for your loose grip
where you fell to the floor
and
saved another for
the last night you swore you wouldn't take a sip

i shouldn't be allowed to like things.
you know what i do.
you've seen.
i've heard.

so shinyprettyprecious.
so new.
this thing.
it makes me want to curl up and die,
i love it so.

let's run the tape back and see that one more time--
one more time--
one more time--
one more time--
one more time--

let's run the tape back--

every once over
every last glance
every 'oh it's so beautiful'
i want to shove my words back down my throat
make sure they're properly digested

it's too perfect.
too good to be true.
certainly too good
for you.

'well you see, this is what your problem is...'

you're stuck in a fantasy, you are
do you not see this?
yes i do.
i know it, and i see it every time, thank you.
you are so wise.
how could i not see?
******' a.
indeed.

i don't need to be reminded.
i am well aware.
i think i've learned enough on my own.
you were there.
you saw.
i told you everything.
you know the tale better than myself,
and it was i who endured the affair.

oh christ.
hey, let's not bring Him into this, okay?
you're right, i apologize.
we know better.
yes we do.

is it as good as when it started?
was it ever that good?
does it need to be?
will this always be this way?
"is this going to be forever?"

oh 'God' i hope.

if there is someone on the other end of this rope
please pull me up.
meet me on the other end
see if we can't
make the most out of this dance floor.

i want to talk until my throat is raw.
you kiss my lips until i swear i saw
my future in a song i never heard before.
the sound reverberates
reverberates
my stomach shakes
heartbeating in my throat
and breaks
into a million tiny pieces
floating above our heads.

better than wearing it on my sleeve
i'll just throw it on the ground for you
to pick it up.
hold it forever.
it's yours.
or raise your foot and bring it down
as you probably should.

maybe all i want is to be miserable
so the pursuit of happiness
will never end.
every day a little better than before
every day a little more hopeful for
what we've promised ourselves we'll find.
a clever trick if you can
believe in your own lies...

the happiest man is
the one who feels
the least discomfort with
the lies he tells himself.

you've become addicted to life
and the pleasures that it brings you
and every day you spend
still breathing
shows your greed for what isn't yours.

and that may be so,
that i'm an addict,
and if it is
i hope i die of an overdose:
happy and a liar.

A rude awakening:
A friend’s best impression of
A thousand,
Deep,
Bellowing trombones.
“BWAAAAWWWWP!”
Shake it off.
Walk home and go to bed.
Fasten hat to head:
“Bye everybody.”
(wave)

Good choice on the hat,
‘Tis chilly.

Text her, “Hi,” just because.
Just in case.

Long walk home
Late at night
And still groggy.
Those trombones still ringing in my ears.

I feel new.
Like a kitten.

Every sound on the street inspires shudders.
Cars approaching from behind:
Crescendos dropping into empty ringing silence.

Someone laughs down a dark side street.
Head jerks,
And looks away.
There it is again.
Is it for me?
Walk faster.

I might still be sleeping…
Although I’m pretty sure—what’s that?
A bicycle,
Or the amplified sound of an insect
Cleaning itself.

Where is that shadow coming from?
Is something floating above this intersection?
Just keep walking.
But only after
I push this button
That does nothing.
I guess I’m just a pigeon
Flapping my wings.
But don’t I know it.
How sad is that?
Where’s that Morpheus with my **** pills?

Home base.
Olly olly oxen free.

you are a fractal

in a sea of branches
you are the air between

the dust that spirals in the sun streams


the decimal point in the equation

the dividing line between oblivion and infinity

you are a loose end
fraying
made of left over dry skin








you are the chemical

you poison my drinking water

you are

the secret ingredient
the last place they'd ever look

you are

the dark matter
the imaginary number I can't wrap my head around

you cure my melancholy






we are

alveoli

we breathe fire

seen through telescopes
we believe we are alone

we'll believe anything they tell us




they won't love you
they can't see you

you are too much
they'd never understand


you don't give
what you don't receive

you give life
as you breathe through me



I see you when my eyes close
I trace your shape on frosted windows





you spark the fire that hijacks my biology



you draw upon my skin with ***** fingernails

your handwriting is embedded in my DNA




your name echoes still
unfamiliar voices without faces


your secret's safe with me



hidden in massive outer space places
untraceable
mastermind configuration
takes ages just to give up out of frustration

Move your body move your mind
Still your heart Still your mind


My mind it moves my body
My body moves my mind
My mind it moves
Be still this heart
Beat
Beat my body
Bring my mind out from the inside




I won't crawl my way to your feet at the head of the table
Begging for scraps

I won't walk to your door with the world behind me chanting slogans
With a list of demands

I won't stand up in the middle of class, shaking
And say what was really going on when he painted that

I won't hold you close when we're alone
Whispering there's nothing left for me here

I won't apologize
I'll welcome my sentence

I'll gladly walk to the other side
Find a place to lie

Maybe make some money making nice things
Moving when the ground gives way to the weight of those standing around doing nothing




Move your body move your mind
Still your heart Still your mind


My mind it moves my body
My body moves my mind
My mind it moves
Be still this heart
Beat
Beat my body
Bring my mind out from the inside

WHEN DOES FOREVER START
WHEN
does life reveal it's startling plot twists and turns
WHEN DOES NEVER END
DOES
Neverland exist
STOP PLAYING WITH FIRE
DON'T
you see it burns
EVERYTHING IT TOUCHES
THE
weight of the debris
CRUSHES
MY CHEST CAVITY
THROW EVERYTHING YOU HAVE AT ME
I've been training
I CAN TAKE IT
MAKE IT HURT
as much as you want
I WANT TO FEEL SOMETHING
IT WON'T
last forever
WANT TO DO ME A FAVOR
STOP
praying for a savior
TO RISE UP FROM A GRAVE
YOU'RE JUST
digging your own
AND THEY'LL PAVE RIGHT OVER YOU
BECAUSE 'GOD'
told them to
BUT THE 'DEVIL'S' FAVORITE GAME
INVOLVES
using other people's names
FOR HIS OWN PERSONAL GAIN
GULLIBLE's
written on the ceiling
THE WALLPAPER'S PEALING, REVEALING
what you've been
FEELING
all these years but were too afraid to share
FIND SOMEONE WHO CARES
MAYBE
they've been there
STARE THEM IN THE FACE WITHOUT BLINKING
FEEL
your
SELF
sink into a place
THE SPACE BETWEEN THEIR EARS
A
cavern filled with fears
NOW
STEP BACK THROUGH THE MIRROR
ALICE
PLEASE PUT DOWN THE CHALICE
DID YOU ASK WHAT WAS IN IT
THE TRUTH sounds different
DEPENDING HOW YOU SPIN IT
SPIT IT OUT
your mouth is tasteless
LIKE THOSE JOKES TOLD BY THESE FACELESS
PUPPETEERS
dressed in 'wastecoats'

*THESE WORDS I'VE WROTE HAVE NOW BEEN SPOKE
SO LET'S STEP BACK FROM THE MACHINE
AND FIGURE OUT WHAT'S REALLY BROKE.