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M Sep 2015
I've caught that infectious laugh again
but this time it's just got me feeling sick.
my stomach kind of hurts so I was messing with the motif of illness.
M Apr 2015
unlock my chains, I am master of my soul
a bit older and wiser now, but free
I am free
M Oct 2014
nothing is as **** as a cello
and nothing is as excruciatingly distant as a violin
M Sep 2015
we both know why
(or maybe only I do and I'm lying when I speak for two)
the light has hardened behind my eyes
(I just wanted to know if it hurt you too.)
M Aug 2015
no matter how long I force myself to stay asleep
the answer isn't in the dream.
M May 2015
"I think God loves all,"
he said, and that beautiful boy
showed me, in a single sweep of tears,
that God wants nothing else but more love in the world.
harry
M Mar 2015
I want to scream until everything clogging up my airways is gone
all the stale air has been expelled, and I have a new set of lungs.
M Sep 2015
I have bigger dreams in further places
but I'm a little afraid to let go to get there.
thinking about college
M Apr 2015
if I could open this window and fly out then I would
but my soul has already done that.
thanks be to God.
M Oct 2015
if nothing means anything,
then why do we live still under the assumption
that it does, in fact, still mean something?
Just noticing that nihilism as a concept might be "fun" to think about or entertain, but when it comes down to it, no one has altered their life to suit these ideas. We still pretense to know right and wrong in our day to day actions. There is something deeper lying within our subconscious that directs us, something that we can't quite forget even though we try. It is higher than our thoughts because our thoughts move underneath it and our thoughts about what are or we should be are powerless to change a reality that we feel deeply within our very beings.

What I mean by this is- if we subscribe to nihilism and we believe that nothing means anything and that our lives are pointless and are only determined by our own will, then why don't we live this way? A life rightly conducted by this philosophy would lead us to always act in our own self-interest and to ignore the needs of others. In fact, when taken to its logical conclusion, a life by this philosophy should END, because why would we want to go on living in a world with pain in it and no reward or comfort for the pain?

Then, if, as we observe, many people hold a nihilistic view but VERY FEW live according to that view, then there must be something stopping us from behaving that way, something that exists regardless of our beliefs to the contrary. I can believe all I want that my neighbor's existence, mind, and heart, are entirely determined by my observation of them, but that doesn't stop me from having a conscience that tells me from being kind to them. I can believe that morals are not absolute, but it does not stop me from telling my neighbor that they are not being fair and their response, if morals did not exist, should instinctively be that fairness does not exist. However, their instinct is to argue that they are exempt or justified against my preexisting standard of fairness.

Thusly, a universal idea of fairness is presented in every aspect of our behavior and everyday. Even if we entertain ideas that a universal standard of morality is not true, we still have a universally agreed-upon conscience that manifests itself in our behavior and our interactions with each other.

And, why, then, is that there? Why do we still behave as if there is a moral standard even if we believe there is not?

I would propose that this moral standard is built into who we are as human beings. We cannot avoid it. We cannot ignore it (except in the case of the severely mentally ill). Something is driving us to a higher standard regardless of our ideas about it. Subsequently, this thing that drives us to that standard exists objectively and outside of whatever our ideas about it are. We cannot ignore it- so it must be unaffected by us.

This inkling, this conscience, within us is what, alone and by itself, proves that truth is real. We cannot change it, because we know that despite our efforts or thoughts otherwise, we still try to act according to it, whatever it is.
M Apr 2015
how can I find home when I don't even live in my own body
M Sep 2015
it's not my right to be afraid and to be angry and to get upset
and yet, here I am, but God knows I'll keep it to myself
keep smiling, bounce off the walls a bit- you'll never know anything is different.
M Sep 2015
if you're wondering why, it's because it feels better for me to hate you than to love you.
M Oct 2015
It hurts to grow up. But it's a hell of a ride
and it's sure as hell worth the fear at the top of the roller coaster
for the peace at the bottom. The thrill and gladness
that, having done it, it's over, and we can laugh about it-
that's why we ride. Not for the thing itself.
We're all in love with our own ability to make memories.
M Sep 2015
don't look at me don't look at me don't look at me
(the things I would do to burn off that nauseating gaze)
don't pity me, don't ask after me, don't touch me
(I don't want anyone to care about me ever again.)
in kind of a weird mood this morning. pretty pissy.
M Sep 2015
can you believe that Jesus Christ literally exists
and that God was incarnate as a human
to show us that we're worth something?
To make us see that we mean something to someone?
M Oct 2015
I wish I could tell about the depths of my heart
but no one ever asked, and strong girls don't.
A lot of my poetry has been fluffy recently and I'm kind of resentful of that. We do what we can to bring light in darkness, though.
M Sep 2015
the God of angel armies is standing by my side.
happy feast day of St. Michael, St. Gabriel, and St. Raphael!
M Jan 2015
wow, people care about me
M Oct 2015
"Each day has been chained to the previous one. But the weeks have had wings. Anyone who believes that a second is faster than a decade has not lived my life."
Jonathan Safran Foer
M Apr 2015
the worst feeling is when you see yourself for who you are
and who you never can be, and all the things you've lost
and all the chances you'll never have and all the pretty girls you'll never touch
it's heartbreaking, isn't it, to know that you will never be what you should have been?
M Jan 2015
if God is anything like my own father
then I pray for mercy
and if God is nothing like him
then I weep with joy.
just thinking about how God is Abbah and we're supposed to see Him in our relationships with our fathers...
M Sep 2015
“I DON'T CARE!" Harry yelled at them, snatching up a lunascope and throwing it into the fireplace. "I'VE HAD ENOUGH, I'VE SEEN ENOUGH, I WANT OUT, I WANT IT TO END, I DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"
"You do care," said Dumbledore. He had not flinched or made a single move to stop Harry demolishing his office. His expression was calm, almost detached. "You care so much you feel as though you will bleed to death with the pain of it.”
from Harry Potter.
M May 2015
part of letting go is knowing how large you are,
how much of the galaxy is written in your bones
and part of loving someone is giving every single star to them.
M Sep 2015
people tend to only want you when you're good or beautiful or free
and sometimes I wonder why and then God never fails to remind me
that people only come to him for a quick fixer-upper too
and that every day I pray "Lord let me love like you."
M Mar 2015
“Some men never recover from education.”
― Oliver St. John Gogarty
M Sep 2015
and yet again I find that everyone wants to talk and no one wants to listen.
M Sep 2015
dreams last for so long
M Nov 2014
I am going to get words tattooed
all over my body
M Sep 2015
"Busy is a choice. Stress is a choice. Joy is a choice. Choose well."
-Ann Voskamp
M Oct 2015
forgive your brother not seven times
but seventy times seven.
M Oct 2015
you know, it's strange to know that every person on this earth
has been through school- and then remember, of course
that they haven't.
still working on correcting my own euro-centric view of things.
M Apr 2015
I have aged a hundred years
M Oct 2015
I scan my past and find nuggets and cold gems
of things I didn't see while they were there
but now, because I didn't pluck them up and keep them
for myself when they happened initially-
my history now looks like a glittering treasure.
reliving a lot of deep, far off memories and realizing who I was at different moments in my life and crucial turning points as I grew up. There is beauty in hindsight- even though and maybe because I didn't take things to be valuable or meaningful at the time, it all together makes a meaningful picture of who I am now. The path has not been landmarks for the sake of themselves- I missed those- but from above and beyond I see the road for all that it was and all the twists and turns I took to get here.
M Apr 2015
if you only asked what I wanted from you
the answer is no more or less than what you can give me
but you didn't ask.
M Apr 2015
lights will guide you home
M Apr 2015
some dreams never do come true
some love doesn't hit the target
seeing stars / børns
M May 2015
"Doesn't it matter why it matters?"
from Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead
M Apr 2015
I look out and see a different life than the one I had left
M Apr 2015
I too have secrets and corners of my mind too dark to wander into
but we all do
and the sculpture of our hearts
wouldn't be the same without its highs and lows
bright places and shadows
M Apr 2015
I dreamed that I was at camp
but the strings and the ropes were there
pulling me empty, leaving me home.
M Apr 2015
spring has the world drunk and halfway dizzy with joy
I can hardly see reality for spinning
M Apr 2015
you don't realize how little of someone you need
until they are gone forever
and you don't forget how much of someone you need
until they are there all the time
thoughts on old friends. not about anyone currently in my life
M May 2015
He stays home from work this time
He never really told his wife
He never really told a lie but this time he decides that it's alright.
It's alright.
No one really knows his mind and no one knows behind his eyes.
The man deserves a medal
But he's never really won a prize before.
He goes to lock the door.

He is falling in love
He knows it's enough
And the world looks down and frowns.
johnny boy / twenty one pilots
M Feb 2015
do you realize my uniqueness?
M Mar 2015
I have a secret.
If there seems to be something missing
and you're scared you'll never find it
everyone else seems to have it, and it looks nice
but no one has exactly made you feel like this,
Open your mind. That's what I did.
It's right there waiting.
M Apr 2014
you can be who you need to be
and I'll let you,
because I love you.
and that's all.
M Mar 2015
I can breathe for the first time
M Feb 2015
I don't want less of you, I just don't want you in the way you want me to.
but is that the same thing?

purposefully vague. Can apply to a bunch of different metaphors about things in my life, I think.
M Mar 2015
"I'd rather learn from one bird how to sing
than teach ten thousand stars how not to dance."
-ee cummings
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