On the other side of town a boy is waiting
with fiery eyes and dreams no one could steal
She drives on through the night anticipating
'Cause he makes her feel the way she used to feel.

You and I can stay awake and keep on dreaming.

I set you on fire, babe
and down came the lightning on me.
Love can be frightening, for sure.

You don't mean too much, just everything to me.

I've seen a lot more meanness in this city
it's the kind that eats you up inside
it's hard to come away with anything that feels like dignity
it's hard to get home with any pride.

we all wanna be big big stars but we all got different reasons for that.

I am tired of this place
I hope people change.

A convicted fool I am chained to the pen in my hand
and my darling I must serve this sentence.

When I was 16 my senses fooled me
Thought gasoline was on my clothes
I knew that something would always rule me...
I knew this sin was mine alone.

All I am is the bones you made for me
So garishly clean
White as the horses, they carry me away
No my demons, you said, come and go with a haze
Minds will too play
Grow old in my ways
Oh, just like you do.

Oh there ain't no diamonds in the boredom
Oh there ain't no darkness that I fear
Oh there ain't no way to say I love you more, no
So be clear, just to be clear
So be clear, be clear.

All I am is the bones you made for me
Just driftwood for the sea
Heavy as the horses, that carry me away.
That carry me away.

Oh there ain't no diamonds in the boredom
Oh there ain't no darkness that I fear
Oh there ain't no way to say I love you more
So be clear, be clear
Oh there ain't no diamonds in the boredom
Oh oh oh ain't no darkness that I fear
Oh oh oh ain't no way to say I love you more
So be clear, just to be clear
So be clear, be clear.

Oh there ain't no diamonds in the boredom
No there ain't no darkness that I fear
Oh there ain't no way to say I love you more
So be clear, be clear.

Everybody wants a flame, they don't wanna get burnt.

All you have is your fire and the place you need to reach.

the years will bring a bigger scheme of things and
make a pretty memory out of my disgrace.

Ever since you came around
everybody wants to drag us down.
Is it because we look too happy?
I remember when you looked at me
and you told me it was all mine
I remember that like yesterday
it was a summer night on the West Side
it was last summer, we had the best time.
We crossed paths like an intersection,
and now we're both headed in one direction.

so we'll ******* the neighbors
in a place that feels the tears
the place you lose your fears
yeah, reckless behavior.

And if you feel just like a tourist in the city you were born
then it's time to go and define your destination.
There's so many different places to call home.

Because when you find yourself the villain in the story you have written
It's plain to see that sometimes the best intentions are in need of redemption.

All I am is the bones you made for me
so garishly clean
white as the horses that carry me away

and I know you'll say that I'm the only one
*...but I know God made another one of me to love you better than I ever will.

They know you walk like you're a god, they can't believe I made you weak.

How many nights does it take to count the stars?
That's the time it would take to fix my heart.

You will find me, you will find me
in places that we've never been
for reasons we don't understand.
Walking in the wind. Walking in the wind.
Yesterday, I went out to celebrate the birthday of a friend
but as we raised our glasses up, to make a toast
I realised you were missing. We had some good times,
didn't we? We wore our hearts out on our sleeve.
Goodbyes are bittersweet, but it's not the end.
I'll see your face again. You will find me,
you will find me
in places that we've never been
for reasons we don't understand.
Walking in the wind. Walking in the wind.
And I know we'll be old times.
Just close your eyes and see
I'll be by your side, anytime you need me.

I'm down to my skin and bone
and my mommy, she can't put down the phone
and stop asking how I'm doing all alone, alone
But the truth is the stars are falling, ma
and the wolves are out, quit calling, ma
and my home has never felt this far.

But all this driving is driving me crazy
and all this moving is proving to get the best of me
And I've been trying to hide it but lately
every time I think I'm better
picking my head up, getting nowhere.

the sun still shines when you're not around

he doesn't look a thing like Jesus

some birds aren't meant to be caged

why must everyone tell each other what to do all the time
can we not coexist in love and peace
like we were meant to? can we not simply
work toward a goal, without mindless power play
or unnecessary roughness? we are human,
we are human, we are human, is all I hear, reasons
and excuses given for our misbehavior, our lies and harms;
it's only human nature! they cry as they steal and cheat
it must be human nature, says the violent criminal,
sadly, it is human nature, sighs the priest:
these are not good enough- this cannot be good enough
for if your heart calls you to love and you feel it then why haven't you?
every human's heart is made for and of
love, community, friendship, socialization-
that is what we are and that is what we need
we are clearly striving for good, we are clearly beautiful,
we are clearly searching for the truth
human nature cannot be evil if its most earnest desire is good.
yes, we are human- but we were made for better things.

You lured me away from home, just to save you from being alone
you stole my soul and that's a pain I can do without.

we were both too real for you, I think
if you couldn't touch me then I would never think you love me
even enough to try, at least.

Poetry hurts.
It hurts to look at, hurts to read, because
it digs into the muscle fiber of your heart and burns its way
marking a fixed tattoo in your bone marrow
tearing through your brain material and ******* you dry.
It requires you to latch into the throttle of the soul and feel the pain
and joy
of everything you experience.
No, there is no escape-
explore your pain, stay there, fully enjoy the beauty and the frightening
love of this terribly glorious world.
Books don't hurt,
they placate. They are the balm on your poetry-burns,
allow you to view your pain objectively, to quietly observe
from a peaceful, magical
faraway land where pain doesn't matter
and that roller coaster is just a funny backdrop instead of
the vehicle in which you fall in love and lose your innocence
in the same run.
Books are the numbing, the morphine
to allow you to fall into an enchanted sleep.

We all need books and poetry at different times- to each his own-
but for my own part,

I prefer poetry.

let's stop saying we don't care
because we do, and it affects us
and we can't say we won't let it bring us down
because that's admitting it's a bad thing
let's instead embrace it, embrace this life
take those ******* tests and do your ******* homework
like your life depends on it
and ******* enjoy it, why the hell not?
I don't want it to be written on my gravestone that
"She was tired of everything and gave up happiness"
or that "She wasted a good portion of life wishing it was better"
but rather "She was blessed and she was grateful".
Even doing nothing is something. Even any day at all
is still a beautiful day.

Many waters cannot quench love, neither can floods drown it. If a man offered for love all the wealth of his house, he would be utterly despised.

I don't want your shadows or your secrets
I don't want just the light and the fluffy
just the good days, or late nights when I hold you
I don't just want your tears, or your happy moments
I want your all.
everything.
you and me.
forever.

married to Christ
is a lot happier
than 'lonely'
and 'broken'
because unlike a marriage to a human
if I mess up,
my husband forgives me endlessly
and loves and understands me perfectly
"Men can't read your mind"
mine does.
My savior loves me more than I could possibly imagine
and He will never leave me.
With Him, I can always be happy-
and I will always be happy
as I strive to be faithful
to my one and only.
I am not worthy of Him in any sense of the word
but He thinks I am worthy of His love
and that's all that matters now.
I am imperfect and I felt kind of unfulfilled and unsatisfied
but it was because I was looking for God
everywhere except God Himself
and I was searching for someone to love me
and understand me
no human relationships can feel like this
and I'm lucky
because I will never be separated from
my God
this isn't a long-distance relationship-
He is around me in every molecule
every blade of grass
every cloud
every cat or dog
He is there.
I will not be lonely
unless I myself leave Him.
but He is faithful
and He calls for me every day I am gone
He cries for me day and night
and never gives up
until I return, one day,
to His open arms
that embrace me
like a human never could.
I will never be lonely again.
My God is more than enough-
He is the source of everything-
an ever-flowing river of mercy,
grace, hope, love, passion, joy...
what else could I ask for?

too much of anything can disturb your inner balance,
acidifying your stomach lining and destroying you from the inside out-
control what you put in your mind and contain it
so that your heart will not have an overload or an overflow-
every single cause of death is the end of homeostasis.

greater than me, and less-
the softest bodied, hearted woman
you're more than I know of you, I guess
and less of a child than you say-
I forget about you sometimes
but you're exactly why I am the way I am
the only one who could make me cry, that night
and the closest nugget of gold in my soul
when I see God, I know He'll hug me, he might-
in the same way you do, all warm, and short, and old.

how many standard deviations and circle transpositions do we need
to be back to ourselves again? or were we always?
Maybe it is not the point on the line that defines who we are but the line itself.

I have a mathematical mind
everything is cause, effect,
close-all-loopholes
find the data, analyze, program
I have a mathematical mind that sees in angles
in the relationships between people
I see the lines and points of contact,
the widening of the eyes and the glancing touch,
how short someone's fingernails are
the marks around their mouth
I have a mathematical mind that sees in positive space
because negative space is a pointless area
and I do not need to exercise
extrapolational thinking, not in this school,
I have to give the answer that is expected
in order to get the reward I desire
there is no reward for a creative but wrong answer
and therefore being rebellious is illogical
I have a mathematical mind that knows how to please people
how to find their strong spots and praise them
how to find their weak spots and support and exploit
I know how to solve the problems of someone's heart
like a scalpel of pain
who can find a rational solution to an emotional problem
because in order to be happy,
you must follow certain steps
and take the logical course of action
that will lead you to your goal.
I have a mathematical mind,
and I know how to use it to find and
give rein to
emotional and philosophical reality-
because my mathematical mind has a preference
for **** subjects like psychology
and my mathematical mind
likes other people so much
that it is willing and able to manipulate them
in the best way possible-
all for the pleasure and enjoyment
of my mathematical mind.

For out of the overflow of the heart, the mouth speaks.

maturity is staring life straight in the face
and being willing to live it.

How secret can I make it?
How far back can I stand?
How long will I have to fake it?
When will I stop having to defend?

I think I'm good enough now.
I don't think I'm obligated to ask why.
I think I shouldn't have to know how.
All I can do is stare up at the sky.

Those goals aren't mine: they're yours.
The stars aren't the same when I'm not home.
How can I get back there? It's never been gone before.
Is there a number I can dial? A God I can phone?

So many questions, so little time.
You've been not there for a while now.
I'm done guessing- for once, maybe I'm fine.
I don't want to have to ask how.

Maybe my life is like someone's album cover
There's millions of songs and I haven't heard even half yet
all I know is that my backpack groans like a saddle
when I put it on my back
It's a little happiness every morning
when my room smells like incense
Or like the air outside
Maybe my life is like a raspberry with an infinite or nonexistent
number of pustules
Maybe my life is like the word pustule
all I know is how scratchy my blanket feels
how the waves sprayed in my face from a thousand feet below
literally- how albus dumbledore stood there
but not really- how the lightning didn't always mean thunder
and how spring feels after a long winter
Maybe my life is like my sister's car
Maybe my life is like the people in my sister's car
drunk and a little confused,
all I know is that they're fun to hang out with
have great ideas when they're high- and sober, too-
that the cold mist is ideal in summer and terrifying in winter
that my sleeping bag is comfortable on any surface
and Blues Traveler's "Run Around" is my life song
but there's tons of others, too
Maybe my life is only like my life
and there's no appropriate analogy
that can capture what's actually going on.

"Maybe you had to."
I like that, it's like a breath of fresh air
finally, someone has acknowledged that emotional reality is reality,
that when it hurts so much,
sometimes you have to, see?
don't you get it?
Tears are necessary for the human existence, as is
laughter, and hugs, and screaming when you're frustrated
and calling so-and-so up
(about fifty times)
(at three in the morning)
and yeah, sometimes it's not well advised or morally justified,
but maybe you have to.

to someone who has thought of themselves as a genius
their whole life long
there is nothing worse than knowing your own mediocrity

he has a nice nose and dark hair, pale skin
like yours
and he's skinny and disjointed, unlike you
because you're like a million pieces designed for each other
that don't quite fit me right
and another is a bit large, while you are the small
fit version of an angel
this same one has more emotional depth than you do
and I find all these boys to talk to,
they're fine for momentary amusement,
but I can't help but measure them all to you
and I can't help but find them wanting.

God the Father of mercies
does not demand much
He only wants us to be open to His love
we don't have to work for it
we were, in fact, made to be receptacles
we were made to be loved, first.
God's will is love and God's will created the whole universe
God is love. That means that nothing but love sustains us
nothing but mercy keeps us from the fires of hell.
How can you know the truth of our Lord and not be changed forever?

I have never been perfect.
I have always been too much, in fact
although that gives me too much credit-
I'm just a normal human being.
A normal human. Not romanticized,
not aggrandized, not more, not less. I'm just a person.
Just a person. A person who has her head ******* on
the right way up, I think, a person that sees
the light of good above her and the pit of evil below
and is trying her best to search the vague waters
for an answer to her navigational questions
a person that, sailing eastward into a west wind
knows that her wings are not wings but only arms
only arms. And only two eyes and only ten fingers
that don't deserve to touch God. I'm just one soul
floating and trying to find a rocky outcrop in the
midst of hurricanes on hurricanes. Trying to love
and live within reason. Trying to wake in the morning
with an attitude that lets me put my feet on the ground.
I'm just moving and learning. I'm only seventeen years old.

When you focus on that which is greater than you,
it becomes terribly lonely;
There is nothing unreachable within me but no one has yet tried
to grasp the depths and stretch out their arms-
the surface far too tempting to dive deeper-
Some of the side effects are:
inability to blindly stroll through life
forgetting what it is that binds you to the person next to you
feeling shockingly lonely on sunny days in crowded places
constant circular reasoning
and the death of all impressions of perfection.
The innocent frames of existence are one of the metaphyisicasualities,
once they're killed, you must fight to resurrect them-
for only once you've gone too far do you realize the value of staying home.

people have a right to feel however they want
because feelings, in the end, don't matter in themselves.
It's what you do, what you say, and who you become
that matters. I can feel however I want because that
sure as hell isn't going to change the way I act
and it is an intrusion and a violation to prohibit
one feeling or the other when a feeling isn't expressed,
if it isn't affecting the external world. If I am not putting it out
for you to see, it is not yours to tamper or condemn.
If it is not changing others' lives for better or for worse
then it's not anyone's **** business how I feel.
It is mine, it is mine, it is mine, it is mine, it is mine
until I give it to you, it is not yours. It is mine.

My dad put up a full-length mirror in my room
and I, for the first time in a long time, saw how beautiful I am.

I am trying my best
as are you
and even though I say I am trying my best
and still fail- does not mean I am a hypocrite
it just means I failed. So please,
cut me some slack
let's stop tearing each others' throats out
a moral lapse or two is not reason to turn on each other
the world is hard for both of us
and you are not superior because what you say and what you do is in alignment
if what you say is 'I am a murderer' and what you do is ******, then
'at least she's honest' is not the right response- they deserve
no credit for the truthfulness of the fact,
but only credit for what they have done- the good or the evil
though I say I have goals and I do not reach them,
at least I have goals, and at least I am mostly good,
the difference between who I say I am and who I am
is not so big of a fault that it counteracts everything good about me
for the good stands alone- the goals may not match, but
they drive me towards being more good
and does that not make them good in themselves?
I am trying my best
please, please, please
just let me,
because you do the same thing-
and setting low goals for yourself does not mean that you are better
because your goals are equal to your achievements
if anything, you are striving less than I
and you are in no position to judge.