Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
 
Apr 2014 · 1.1k
human nature
M Apr 2014
forgiveness should be as all-embracing
as your arms cannot be
your love should give
even more than your heart can pump
your mind can wander
farther than your feet can take you
your imagination can see
beyond the strain of your retinas
because you, my friend,
are not limited by 'human nature'
or your body,
you are endless,
and you will reach the tips
of the world
and backwards across the cosmos,
your soul will stretch-
it is not human nature
to be confined,
it is human nature to be unlimited.
Apr 2014 · 275
Untitled
M Apr 2014
pointless words
written with creative line breaks
all serving to create a concept of ownership
hell, to create the concept of a concept
it means nothing
and everything
because of you.
Apr 2014 · 497
What love is
M Apr 2014
I am fascinated by your existence
and want to take care of you
but in my caring
I must fulfill your needs
not what I want your needs to be
and my love cannot be what I want
it must be what you want-
that's what love is.
I am fascinated by your eyebrow bones
and your hips
and the way you roll your eyes
I am fascinated by how you sleep
and how you wake up
I am fascinated by your love for cartoons
and your small fingers entwined with mine
I am fascinated by all of you,
and I will write you a million poems
or swim across the ocean
or dance naked for you,
and every hair on your head is a line in my poetry
and the way your ear curves is greater than whitman,
a mind more elegant than cummings,
hands more deft than hughes;
I will write you a hundred thousand billion poems,
but that doesn't mean I can have you,
because that's not what you want-
my desires are always second to your desires,
and that's what love is.
Apr 2014 · 519
My Body
M Apr 2014
My body is a fluid thing, supple,
unwilling-to-be-controlled
not exactly lanky, because I'm not that skinny,
but well-proportioned
and not too muscular
but just muscular enough around the leg area.
My body is a fluid thing,
it matches my mind-
tall, not-cumbersome,
it flops and fits into any kind of space
flexibly curls into various positions
is comfortable changing but uncomfortable in the wrong clothes
My body is a fluid thing
I feel as though my joints are constantly shifting around
in their soft sockets
to be molded and to collapse
in a different place every time
and to relax, and form to its container
like liquid into a glass.
If my mind is fire, my body is the water
that surrounds and protects it
and seems to be perfectly matched and complimentary
to the flames that lay buried deep within my chest.
Apr 2014 · 831
10w
M Apr 2014
10w
everybody needs somebody,
and I've only got myself for company.
Apr 2014 · 389
talking to myself (reprise)
M Apr 2014
I'm entertained by the thought of talking to myself
I haven't yet met a mind as perfect for me
as, well, me
and maybe an imaginary friend wouldn't go amiss
in this whirlwind of loneliness and
mindless stimuli.
I'm busy constantly, on my phone,
studying,
sleeping,
playing an instrument,
'quiet time' is only when I'm with other people
because I can go on autopilot
and alone is when I think too fast for speaking or writing
alone is when my mind fades into white noise
alone is when the walls don't feel like walls.
I'm entertained by the thought of talking to myself
because I need someone with me,
especially when there's no one there,
because that's the worst time for proper thinking;
-I'm always distracted, never-focused-
other people focus me.
other people are the magnifying lens, the bounce-off,
alone is terrifying so I avoid it by stimulating my mind
with pointless ****,
while talking to myself would
probably be more productive.
I'm entertained by the thought of talking to myself,
because that way,
I'd never have to be alone.
Apr 2014 · 210
Untitled
M Apr 2014
I used to wish you'd write sappy poems about me
and dream about me
and want to be with me
but I think
for you to be in love with me
would be out of character,
like Sherlock falling for John,
or Darcy and Elizabeth getting
together on the first try.
I don't want you to be out of character-
I want you to be YOU,
with or without me,
and that's enough.
you're wonderful as you are.
Apr 2014 · 364
Crucifix
M Apr 2014
"Is that a purity ring?"
"No..."
It's not a purity ring.
It's a wedding ring.
Apr 2014 · 450
To Understand is to Love
M Apr 2014
"I am right and you are wrong"
-a phrase that should never be uttered.
if you really got the other person's point,
this sentiment, you wouldn't have muttered,
for people are more than muscle and joint
more than a means to an ends
people are just like you, every one
so how about trying to make mends?
Why is forgiveness so unacceptable?
didn't you want it once?
how come their motives are so susceptible?
what makes one's truth over one's
more than the other's, credible?
people need to understand each other
to find the truth they lost
for the only thing lies build is discontent
and they are suffering the effects of the cost
there's a pain you can't circumvent
your heart muscle will soon exhaust:
if you're trying to love someone that you don't even know,
then your stars appear to be crossed
for there's a bond can be built only once you let go
the walls that once divided you
and it doesn't need be a fight even though
the roof over your head is blown through.
please just understand your sister or brother,
'cause peace is something we musn't outgrow
if you'd see what's under the covers
for what it really is,
then we'd finally find our home in one another
this is who we are- we were made for this.
Apr 2014 · 487
My heart
M Apr 2014
my heart craves something
anything.
lightning, love, hate, fire...
CLEAR!
jolt me, please,
electrify my veins, I've been still way too long-
CLEAR!
the last one like cholesterol
stopping the beats and starving me of oxygen
I don't want something to clog me again-
CLEAR!
I want fresh, free-flowing blood-
CLEAR!
I'll kiss anyone if it just
starts my heart again.
Please, God, start my heart again-
CLEAR!
"oh, well... looks like it's over."
"time of death?"
Apr 2014 · 255
I
M Apr 2014
I
sometimes I'd like to kiss you
but I think it's because I'd like to kiss anybody
and you'd be fun for that sort of thing
but I'm scared I'll have to pretend I'm in love with you
and I'm scared I'll hurt you
and I'm embarassed that I think you might have a crush on me
and I'm wary because this has happened before
and I'm uncomfortable because it doesn't feel right
and I'm secretly longing for her
and I know I can't love you
any more than I can pull the sun down into our orbit
or attach the moon to the earth with a telephone cable-
I can only love who I love
and I won't make the mistake of
thinking I can change my heart
again- you can't force passion,
it aligns naturally, and
it is not aligned between me and you.
Apr 2014 · 904
Eyes the color of heaven
M Apr 2014
I still remember the color of your eyes that day
it's still my favorite color
they were the color of gold
but not exactly gold
white
but not exactly white
they were the color of the sun behind the clouds
just as the sun rises
and the color of the sun behind the clouds
right before the sun begins to set
they were the color of the star I stared at
while me and another girl I loved
talked about our dreams
(she longed for the cosmos-
I only longed for her)
they were the color of what I think my soul looks like
the color of what my wings were before I fell
the color of a halo,
of God's throne, of
the love I feel within my chest.
they were the color of what a spark feels like
as it pierces your mind
and electrifies your lungs,
sending you into deadly spasms-
and yet, they are glorious while they last;
you never thought you'd enjoy dying.
they were the color of an angel's blade
and the color of the inside of my eyelids
as my body burned away from looking at the kingliness
not meant for me or any mortal-
they were the color of something I never thought
I'd see again,
the color of a place my soul had almost forgotten,
they forged a connection, a wormhole
to something bigger and more powerful
than I could ever imagine.
Like a long-lost brother
or finding your house in the middle of a strange city-
like seeing your mother for the first time and
instinctively knowing who she is-
like I was being called home, to my true home,
and I could only get there
if I just could reach, a little farther...
Heaven is present in everything, I know,
but it was personified in your eyes.
Apr 2014 · 707
AR (11w)
M Apr 2014
I have never loved anyone
as much
as I loved her.
Apr 2014 · 216
Untitled
M Apr 2014
I've been ******* everything up for a while,
and I realized that
maybe it wasn't as perfect as I thought it was.
Apr 2014 · 1.5k
Longing
M Apr 2014
Who
are
you?
Can you show me
who
I
am?
Come
a
bit
nearer,
let me hold
your heart
next
to
mine,
Don't be afraid,
because
I've been
longing
for you
longer than
you
know.
Apr 2014 · 356
I do have free will
M Apr 2014
"...but don't you feel trapped? Like you have no free will?"
I do have free will.
and I choose this life again and again,
in every breath.
I choose to give my life for Christ
and that is not submission of my free will
that is using my free will
and I choose to bend and submit
to someone who will pick the absolute best life for me
because I know I get confused in this life
and I ***** up all the time-
so the Om, the Lord of the Universe,
will guide me through whatever actions
I must take
in order to unify the universe
and spread peace and love to all.
Naturally, the one who is connected to everything
knows how best to save us from suffering,
so I choose to open myself to that energy,
the Holy Spirit-
because I was a slave to my worst human desires
inability to deny yourself is slavery-
you lack complete control
and you cannot further aspire.
If you are lord over your own body
you can reach unprecedented heights
so I will be lord over my own body
I will take this fight
and the 'I' is in tap with the
fundamental energies of the universe
so that my body will be directed for the greater good.
Don't tell me I don't have free will.
I am exercising it as I write.
My chosen path is this:
I will use whatever I can to serve the Lord of light,
I will kneel at His feet if He will guide me forth,
I will serve, for I know I am not greater than those beside me,
I will strive to make their lives better,
not worse.
I will use my arms.
I will use my mind.
I will use my charm.
I will use my smile.
I will use my heart.
I will use my voice.
I do have free will,
and this is my choice.
Apr 2014 · 198
Untitled
M Apr 2014
If I could spend my whole life doing nothing
but glorifying my Father,
I would be blissfully happy.
Apr 2014 · 716
the best poetry
M Apr 2014
the best poetry is full of joy
unashamed of its tired clichés
because tasteful, articulate things
have been weighed in the balance and found wanting
and 'good music taste' is not really good
when the music has no real melody
and doesn't get your heart pumping
the best poetry gets your heart pumping
and your soul throbbing, yearning for more.
it is not pretentious,
it does not tell itself 'you are not good enough'
even though it is fashionable to have low self-esteem
it dances and refuses to abstain from its own glory
the best poetry is shining
and does its best to polish off its tarnished spots
rather than glorifying them
the best poetry admits its own repetition
but history is not a bad thing
tradition is not bad merely because it is traditional
the best poetry breathes life into the heart of everyone who reads it
spreads light
gives air to that which had been oppressed-
the best poetry does not wallow, complain, or remain stagnant-
the best poetry is beautiful,
and the best poetry resembles
the truth of the beautiful people who wrote it.
Apr 2014 · 245
Love
M Apr 2014
"Love only Him, love nothing but Him, and if you love anything but Him, love it only because of Him."
"If you love me, you will love your brothers and sisters."
"God is love, and abide in His love, that His love may be all in all; and that God may be all in all."
"A branch separated from the tree can bear no fruit, just as you separated from me can bear no fruit."
Love cannot exist independently of God. He is the source of all happiness and joy- everything else is transient, but the Om and the unity of the universe surpasses all troubles and boundaries. You literally cannot live a truly fulfilled life without tapping into Him, consciously or unconsciously.
"If it were not me you were searching for, you would not have searched so long or so truly. For all find what they truly seek."
Apr 2014 · 465
my church
M Apr 2014
make fun of my church all you want
you can say it preaches hate
but please,
all the saints and fathers and doctors
have never taught anything but love
and forgiveness
I have never been taught anything that says
"judge thy neighbor"
or "cast the first stone"
so for you to say
you don't like what the catholic church teaches
what, exactly, don't you agree with?
"help the poor, clothe the naked, comfort widows"
"love thy neighbor as yourself"
"spread your joy and your light"
"be willing to give your life for your friends"
honestly. what are you talking about?
the catholic church is not a business
it is not corrupted,
you sound like the erudite who believed
the purely selfless were corrupt
because that's a lie.
the holiest, kindest, most gracious people
run this church
and our doors are always open
we feed the hungry, shelter the homeless
the we have our arms ready to embrace anyone who needs it
and we find pure happiness in everything we do
What more do you want?
What is our religion doing wrong?
I won't accept 'the slaughter of thousands of people' because the invasion of the native american peoples was a gross power move that was associated with a misunderstanding of religion and orders from blasphemous authorities. the crusades were so long ago and you haven't been personally affected, so don't pull that one. and the spanish inquisition was wrong and the Church condemns that. also, homosexuality is condemned because we believe it is sexually impure and leads us away from God. but, as Theresa of Avila says, be gentle with others and stern with yourself. No Catholic who is truly close to God has ****** or judged or oppressed or been violent towards someone for any reason- and if they have, they have since been forgiven. God does not condone hate. God is the source of all unity and love in the universe- and if you worship a God that does not do that, or you believe God does not do that, you are grossly misinterpreting what it is that we are. The whole universe is good. all the things we perceive to be negative are just there to build our character. those 'bad' things are good because they are true and they changed things and it will all work out in the end. life is beautiful, God is love. and that is what my church teaches- that no matter what anyone does to you, no matter if they sin themselves or they hurt you, you should not hurt them or seek revenge: always love, always forgive, always be patient, no matter what. do not feed the vicious cycle- be an instrument of peace. let light shine through you and sow love wherever you walk.
Apr 2014 · 299
married to Christ
M Apr 2014
married to Christ
is a lot happier
than 'lonely'
and 'broken'
because unlike a marriage to a human
if I mess up,
my husband forgives me endlessly
and loves and understands me perfectly
"Men can't read your mind"
mine does.
My savior loves me more than I could possibly imagine
and He will never leave me.
With Him, I can always be happy-
and I will always be happy
as I strive to be faithful
to my one and only.
I am not worthy of Him in any sense of the word
but He thinks I am worthy of His love
and that's all that matters now.
I am imperfect and I felt kind of unfulfilled and unsatisfied
but it was because I was looking for God
everywhere except God Himself
and I was searching for someone to love me
and understand me
no human relationships can feel like this
and I'm lucky
because I will never be separated from
my God
this isn't a long-distance relationship-
He is around me in every molecule
every blade of grass
every cloud
every cat or dog
He is there.
I will not be lonely
unless I myself leave Him.
but He is faithful
and He calls for me every day I am gone
He cries for me day and night
and never gives up
until I return, one day,
to His open arms
that embrace me
like a human never could.
I will never be lonely again.
My God is more than enough-
He is the source of everything-
an ever-flowing river of mercy,
grace, hope, love, passion, joy...
what else could I ask for?
"Christ is yours today, and he is yours tomorrow as He dies again and again for you on the cross."

I feel pure again. I'm on the path back to who I'm supposed to be.
Apr 2014 · 349
Untitled
M Apr 2014
if I can
save one life
change one heart
touch one soul
then I will have succeeded.
and it will all have been worth it.
Apr 2014 · 223
Untitled
M Apr 2014
No one likes ugly things
and negativity-
the clichè would follow "even though they are the reality of things"
but I don't think ugliness is the reality of things.
The reason people don't like hearing them is because
they distract from the truth
ugly things don't matter.
They're not the truth.
The truth is,
there is only one thing that matters-
love.
Hatred, alcoholism, abandonment, addiction, depression, oppression, racism...
Nothing matters,
except love.
And that is not an ugly truth.
That is the truth,
and the truth is beautiful.
Apr 2014 · 117
Untitled
M Apr 2014
even though it feels like just a dream,
and though I'll try and erase it from my mind,
and though the feelings are fading,
my body will never forget
how yours felt
laying next to mine
as I fell asleep holding you.
M Apr 2014
Let me breathe
I'm choking
Drowning in my own iniquities
Softly, gently
Suffocating
Am I the only one who walks the halls?
Do you ever wonder-
Are they all automatons there for you and there's no real company, you're alone, you are the only conscious mind there and they're trying to brainwash you with every line so your free will is gone just like theirs. And since they're all just responsive mindless creatures, you have no real friends, they're figments of your imagination, I want to be like them, anything is better than feeling this lonely all the time;
There's no one like me,
no one with me,
I'm lost, I feel as though
there's a brand on my forehead that
they can only see sometimes
and I have no idea what it says
but I'm marked as not one of them
am I the only self aware person here?
I don't like it. Take away whatever it is that makes me special,
I give up.
I'll walk in lines, fine,
resisting hurts when there's no brother soldiers on either side,
Why is it that none of us feel like we belong here?
Can we just all be the same, finally?
I'm so tired.
I'd rather be mindless and hopeless than on fire in a world of ice.
Apr 2014 · 618
Untitled
M Apr 2014
Maybe kissing won't
make it better,
like mom always told us,
when we had a scrape or a scratch;
maybe this cut is too deep for
a little peck
maybe we need
a full on makeout session
to make it better.
You wanna try?
Apr 2014 · 427
Stain
M Apr 2014
I've been telling myself no
I'm trying not to write poems about you
Mostly, they're on other topics.
That's cool.
But buried beneath them, in the fibers of the words,
is something that cannot be destroyed
a stain I can't ******* wash out of my shirt
I tell myself the poems aren't about you
but that's *******.
They are all about you.
Every
single
one of them.
Apr 2014 · 1.1k
education system
M Apr 2014
I'd rather write poems than do math
I'd rather exercise my soul than my body
I'd rather learn about Plato than the Industrial Revolution
is it too much to ask for an education system that
actually lets me pursue
my own dreams?
Apr 2014 · 248
Atlas
M Apr 2014
when it's dark and cloudy like this
it feels as though I am in between two layers of Earth
or in a collapsing room
the sky is a ceiling that is ill supported
a ceiling made out of ***** water leaking on the truck
a wet blanket on a fort from a broken childhood
made to hide from a father that doesn't love you
and if the soggy paper towel breaks
what will come crashing down through it?
the ground doesn't feel safe anymore
because the trees are the only thing separating the sky
from the Earth
and keeping us from being crushed
by whatever it is that's tormenting and oppressing
Atlas.
Apr 2014 · 343
My Jonathan
M Apr 2014
I want to write a million poems to someone
who will write them back to me
I want to scream my favorite song with someone
who will yell along with me and know every word
I want to give my favorite book to someone
who is willing to read it
I want to hold hands with someone
who loves to hold mine
I want to knit my soul to someone
who understands what that means
I want to give my life for someone
who would let me
I want to find my Jonathan in someone
who has been searching their whole life for their David.
Apr 2014 · 191
Untitled
M Apr 2014
I am so grateful
for those who know my soul
and still tolerate me-
there's only three, I think;
Shea,
Pam,
and Miranda
that fully grasp who I am
and don't seek to change me except to make me better
and I love them increasingly more with every day.
I am blessed to have those that are,
maybe not perfectly matched,
but perfectly willing to try.
Apr 2014 · 225
my soul's name is John
M Apr 2014
you might(ormightnot) Be
asking what Is
the-sweetest-of
the berriestraw but

I tell
you
that

the sweetest is
theoneiamtasting
because i(t)
is

theoneiamtasting
and when

will you(they) realize
that
what i(you) wan
t things to Be
is what they are

and while i(you) hate the word
just/or/only-
wetogether ****
all that is just/or/only
within i(you)/i(you)!

but since is
all that is
everything is
just is
or only-
we have killed
alleverything
and are left with just/or/only death
as our
Companion.

our fragile lang
uage
taught us
everything is just/or/only
nothing
and if Fault is fault
and Sin is sin
then

it is our fault
it is God's fault too

o-u-r
G-o-d
in this, the frailgilist
of lang
uages
even the spelling of the you(i)
does not
determine(butitdoes)
what it really

Is.
after the style of e e cummings
Apr 2014 · 567
I buy too many books
M Apr 2014
why do I buy books I won't read
maybe it's the same reason
I fall in love with people I can't have
I never reach out quite far enough
so that these experiences are tantalizingly
untantalizing
and maybe I select a great deal of books
in the hopes of finding one that I will actually enjoy
and I read such a small fraction of them
that I seem to be misspending my money.
but I will continue my vice and form a collection
of books that were
never intended to be read
to sit forever on the bookshelf of my memory,
quiet and untouched
maybe there only to be in stark contrast
to the ones I have opened
and destroyed.
M Apr 2014
I would like to kiss somebody
it doesn't matter who
I would like to kiss somebody
anybody in particular would do
I'd like the feeling of lips on lips
a body pressed together or two
maybe I'd finally feel what it is to really kiss
since no one's ever shown me, I never really knew.
I'd like to be desperate for somebody
feel their chest pressed against mine
I'd like to want somebody
to fill my soul with unadulterated vice
I would like to kiss somebody
I would like to get my tongue entwined
I would like to lose all inhibitions
on the devil's table, dine.
I would like to kiss somebody,
it doesn't matter who.
I would like to kiss somebody,
in particular, you.
Apr 2014 · 845
11w
M Apr 2014
11w
the idea of someone
being in love with me
is laughable
Apr 2014 · 270
Untitled
M Apr 2014
I'm not crazy, I swear
I just notice everything you do, okay?
and these poems are unfiltered nonsense
pure emotion
that hold no factual basis
and even if you aren't avoiding me
it still feels like it
and I'm not crazy
I just don't like when someone who
I've had a secure friendship with
for 8 months
suddenly becomes less than an acquaintance.
it hurts. like there's a piece of me missing.
and fine, I get it,
if you need a break.
this will be your third break weekend.
maybe you made the decision to dislike me
but really, I haven't seen you ever dislike someone this much
in the way you behave towards me.
please, take your ******* break,
take your whole life as a break away from me,
please,
as long as you're happy.
I want you to be happy.
so just because I have feelings for you
doesn't mean I'm gonna do anything about it
or try and make you feel uncomfortable
because I've felt this way for a while
and you didn't seem to be uncomfortable the whole time.
I want you to be happy, so
I'll keep my distance, fine
I'll deal with it- I'm dealing every day
training myself to not care and to not notice
as if you're just another of my friends
but you're still always in my peripheral vision
like a rock in your shoe
you might not be consciously thinking about it
but you know it's there.
I'm sorry I feel this way about you
and I'm doing my best to fix it
so we can go back to having an actual relationship
without it being weird.
I'm not crazy, I swear
but it's hard to orient yourself
when your head is spinning
under,
over,
and around
your heels.
Apr 2014 · 319
Untitled
M Apr 2014
you're pointedly avoiding me again
I'm not gonna ******* invite myself over
and **** you
like what the ****
leave me alone
but don't leave me completely alone
just behave normally, please
this isn't helping anything
it's weird and it's uncomfortable and
it makes me feel like **** that you'd rather stand alone
than talk to a group of people that has me in it
Apr 2014 · 384
Maybe my life is
M Apr 2014
Maybe my life is like someone's album cover
There's millions of songs and I haven't heard even half yet
all I know is that my backpack groans like a saddle
when I put it on my back
It's a little happiness every morning
when my room smells like incense
Or like the air outside
Maybe my life is like a raspberry with an infinite or nonexistent
number of pustules
Maybe my life is like the word pustule
all I know is how scratchy my blanket feels
how the waves sprayed in my face from a thousand feet below
literally- how albus dumbledore stood there
but not really- how the lightning didn't always mean thunder
and how spring feels after a long winter
Maybe my life is like my sister's car
Maybe my life is like the people in my sister's car
drunk and a little confused,
all I know is that they're fun to hang out with
have great ideas when they're high- and sober, too-
that the cold mist is ideal in summer and terrifying in winter
that my sleeping bag is comfortable on any surface
and Blues Traveler's "Run Around" is my life song
but there's tons of others, too
Maybe my life is only like my life
and there's no appropriate analogy
that can capture what's actually going on.
Apr 2014 · 516
2048
M Apr 2014
any problem that can be solved with a movement down
can be solved with a movement up
and you've got to unlock the secret
don't get yourself lost and get small numbers
in uncomfortable positions
keep it all organized
and watch your moves so you don't make a mistake
so always move up
Apr 2014 · 417
no matter how hard I try
M Apr 2014
my heart still beats faster when you wear your hair down
and even when you wear your hair up
and even when you look like you'd rather not wear your hair at all
I still think you're one of the most lovely humans alive
Apr 2014 · 172
Untitled
M Apr 2014
i don't even have to date you
I'd just like to be friends who kiss sometimes
is that okay
Apr 2014 · 1.6k
my favorite book
M Apr 2014
"what's your favorite book?"
"oh, you mean aside from the Bible and the collected works of Plato?"
"yeah"
"the art of racing in the rain"
"like jumping and skipping through a field in a rainstorm?"
"no. like racecar driving while it's raining."
"is that a metaphor?"
"the whole book is a metaphor."
"books like that are ******."
"books that aren't like that are ******. if there's no hidden meaning then you have a ****** author."
"point taken. but wouldn't a good author let you take the meaning yourself and not pointedly write it in?"
"a good author does both; but the pointedly written in part is written so that you can't even tell it was on purpose."
"is the art of racing in the rain by a good author?"
"absolutely."
"so what's the meaning?"
"read the ******* book."
"no, just tell me the meaning."
"you create your life, man. everything you did led up to this moment. you made the problems so you have to react to them faster than at speed. it's- it's like in a race, if it's raining, then you have to spin your car out before it spins itself out, because that's the only way you can solve the problem, you see? and if you can't stop looking at the wall then you're gonna run into the wall. like if you accept a terminal diagnosis, you're gonna die. you have to look away. you create your future by accepting it and refusing to change it. you can also create your future by writing your own story in the way you want it."
"I don't get how a message like that is explained through racecar driving."
"read the book and you will."
"okay."
imaginary dialogue with myself
Apr 2014 · 3.8k
a vent
M Apr 2014
you'd like to argue 'no, your grades don't indicate your intelligence'
because you have bad grades and
you don't want to think of yourself as stupid
and now you've settled yourself into a pit of
oh, I have bad grades, but that means
I'm smart in a better way than them,
it's like a smug superior thing,
like 'those people have such an ordinary intelligence'
and 'here I am, someone whose mind
cannot be contained by this fragile institution'
and you've made yourself satisfied with your bad grades
because you think yourself to be unorthodoxically intelligent
and those who have good grades
are boring, pointless individuals.
you don't want to feel bad about yourself
or put in the work to make them better
so you decided this mindset would work best for you
but I'd like to propose that yes, your grades do indicate your intelligence-
it's only a certain kind of intelligence,
mind you,
but it's the type of intelligence we measure
as ordinary intelligence.
if you have bad grades
you
A) don't understand the material
B) aren't paying attention
C) aren't putting in enough effort
or
D) there is no D
because grades are a combination of homework,
tests,
quizzes,
participation,
and projects.
I get if you're a bad test taker.
I personally don't understand how that works-
like, you get the material
until someone asks you something about it
and then you can't communicate your knowledge?
I mean, if you know something, then you know it,
and putting it on a paper, test or otherwise, shouldn't be difficult
if you actually know what you're talking about.
which ties in to A. if you don't understand it,
then actually,
you C. aren't putting in enough effort.
but okay, I'll accept that reason-
even though I think bad test takers are a myth.
you can't possibly be bad at homework
unless you don't put in the time to do it.
projects, too. if you fail those, you C.
and participation is B.
all those are easily solved by hard work if you
lack, for now, the kind of 'intelligence' we measure.
so if you have bad grades, no, it doesn't mean you're unintelligent.
but it does mean you're lazy.
or have reached a point where you don't believe you can do more-
which is a lie.
because you are capable of solving every problem
you believe you are capable of solving.
and telling yourself 'I'm just not good at school'
guarantees that you are not good at school.
if you appreciate your capability
you can go so much farther.
there is a limit to human potential,
but I don't think it is different for everyone.
I think the limit is where you either
cut yourself off
or
the upper limit-
very few people have reached that limit. perhaps no one.
but it is very high up there.
the limit where you cut yourself off
is that imaginary edge of human behavior
at which people say "boys will be boys"
or "evil is human nature"
or "certain people are more inclined to __ than others, and I am not one of those people"
or "everybody's potential is different"
because that is not ******* true
your potential is what you say it is
and the line you draw for yourself
is a wall you can now never cross
because you don't think you can
like 'I will never be more than what I am'
or 'All I can be is me'
or 'accept me just the way I am'
because you can be more.
and as a human being with this amazing power of metacognition,
you are obligated to be more
you are obligated to train yourself and
change yourself
and program yourself into the best possible human you can be
because every action you take builds you higher
and every choice you take breaks down the wall
you just have to make the decision that
you will reach the stars
you will do whatever it takes
because at the top of that mountain
you will realize you can do anything now,
you can go anywhere now,
you've made it all the way here-
now to the moon!
and I dare you to go
because I know you can.
the standards you hold yourself to are not necessarily true across the board. while boosting yourself up, you need to recognize that other people's limitations can be real within their own perceptions. two of the virtues you yourself should hold yourself to should be compassion and understanding- you should try your hardest to love and accept the people around you. when THEY fail to love and accept you, the only thing you can control is your response: whether to forgive or get angry and frustrated. Remember that you can only control yourself and that you cannot expect everyone's consciousness stage and truth to be the same as yours. All you can do is use what you perceive as their failures to train yourself to be better. getting angry, frustrated, or hurting them physically or emotionally because of their failure is only a failure of yours, and only adds to the resentment in the universe. you must fight hate with love.
the above poem is a good, positive way to think about and live your life. this is intended to be motivational and to scratch and fray at the chains we've bound ourselves with. this isn't supposed to be directed towards anyone in particular and was certainly not meant to hurt feelings. If you get offended by this, it's because what I've said disagrees with the excuses you've been telling yourself your whole life and now you've got nothing to stand on, so you want to blame me.
don't blame me. break your chains.
Apr 2014 · 107
Untitled
M Apr 2014
how can you be in love with
something that is the opposite
of all you've ever loved?
Apr 2014 · 430
The Heat
M Apr 2014
I thrive in the heat-
I've waited so long for this.
everyone complains when it's cold and complains when it's hot
but I'm glad now- I'm finally in my favorite element: fire.
well, maybe not fire. but sweat
and scorching distances to run
and shout and break my voice
at last, the air feels like there's too much
not like there's not enough
at last, I'm choking, not gasping
it's a beautiful feeling when you have to turn your AC on
for the first time in six months.
the flowers are blooming
the grass is green
and the leaves on the trees are back.
The dead of winter is only a nightmare dream.
My limbs are on fire- I could race all the way around the track.
The burn within my heart is finally reunited
with its home in the summer heat;
the blaze is about to be ignited
and the flames will soon be free.
Apr 2014 · 142
Untitled
M Apr 2014
"Love people for all of them, not just the good or easy parts"
Apr 2014 · 264
Ways to say I love you
M Apr 2014
Ways to say I love you without actually trying or displaying emotion:
listening to me when I talk
saying hi when I walk up
valuing my presence
not groaning when I begin speaking
not telling me my presence is an inconvenience
wanting to spend time with me
not ******* about me while I'm within earshot
smile at things I say
don't complain when I talk too loud
actually talk to me occasionally
make eye contact or smile in the halls
appreciate me

see? it's not that hard. if other people can do it,
you can.
I don't need constant hugs or verbal affirmation
I don't need you to compliment me, even.
Just show that you care-
the simplest way to do that is to actually care.
and if you can't do that,
then you aren't ready to be in any kind of friendship with me
because I, like most people, only enjoy
being in relationships with people
who actually want them there.
If you don't want to be up to this 'tremendous' challenge
and you don't believe you can fundamentally change yourself
and if you don't want to,
then consider the friendship over.
Because it would be nice if I could accept you for exactly who you are
but exactly who you are is kind of an *******
and if you can't see that
then there's something wrong
and if you can see it and don't want to change it
then there's something wrong.
I'd like to love you unconditionally
but I can't be the only one doing the loving
while you aren't even paying attention to me.
It's unhealthy.
Compromise, communication, appreciation-
things you don't seem to care that much about
AKA the fundamental cores of a good relationship
and if your basic personality isn't conducive to a good relationship
we are going to have a problem, especially
if you aren't willing to solve the problem.
on the inconvenience note: while it was true, you don't need to tell me. that's a **** move, saying something you know will be perceived negatively, just because it's true.
Apr 2014 · 307
Untitled
M Apr 2014
one of the reasons I'm avoiding you is because
you're ******* toxic
and you bulldoze through other people's feelings
using your logic and intelligence
as an excuse to disvalue those around you
because to you, they're pawns for a purpose
and if they are irrelevant or not serving their purpose,
then they aren't even worthy humans
and you surely won't waste your attention on them
you think that everything is worth sacrificing
for a clear-cut, objective view of things
and what you've done is destroyed everything around you
Apr 2014 · 242
Untitled
M Apr 2014
hey I want to know I'm valued
and your constant barrage of ****
is not helping
and don't tell me it's my fault for not dealing with it
or my fault because that's just how you are
because *******.
my other friends treat me okay
so why the hell can't you?
Apr 2014 · 677
Untitled
M Apr 2014
I don't know what this is.
I don't know if it's love or if I'm gonna
ever be brave enough to give or get a kiss
I don't know if I wanna
step aside for the changing tides
I'm just reaching for the stars
within my semi-open mind
and the stars are just too far
for me to grasp in time.
I do know you're perfect
but maybe not perfect for me
and I think I love you desperately far more than is wise
there's really nothing else I can make myself be
than a foolish romantic with ice-colored eyes
maybe through those I'll eventually see
what I mean to you
and what you mean to me.
Next page