if I got even an inkling that you wanted to be in my life
my arms would be out like they are to anyone that puts in
one percent of effort, anyone that even smiles at me
is my friend. If you don't want that then you don't.
But it sure ain't my fault.

this time last year, the world fell around me
everybody's lives in shambles and rubble and
me, standing alone on a precipice, fine and unscathed
because someone was holding me up.
this year, God's holding me up. the world is still falling
but I don't depend on you anymore
I've found my own way, found my own way to stand.
Thank God for that. Thank you, thank you, thank you God.

Is God who I turn to in order to feel safe?

how do you convince yourself you aren't measured by someone elses' love?
Asking for a friend.

kissing someone is like all the buzzing and all the chatter
wars fought behind my eyes and choirs of angels
screams of demons, the screeching and aching of
a man as he falls, the grating of Earth's plates and
crumbling of mountains, breezes over grassfields
crackling lightning and shuddering thunder,
pounding heart and throbbing arteries, the echo
of a pulse beat through the hospital room,
nail-biting and foot-tapping and dilemmas and expression
art and logic and worth and failure and love and war
comes to silence. I feel nothing.
My heart, which did beat fast, is calmed and soothed
as soon as my lips touch anothers'.
The buzz of electricity in my veins finds its way
through the wire, and the circuit is complete.
There is peace. There is no more world
there is just two people, two people who
promised not to promise anymore
is this blindness? Is this deafness?
Is this completion and fulfillment?
Will it feel different next time, with someone else?
Is this how everyone else feels?
Is this how the person opposite me feels?
Is this how I feel? Is this alright? Am I okay?
I am okay. You're telling me I'm okay without speech.
Silence. This is it.

And I want it, I want my life so bad
I'm doing everything I can

Well, I've got thick skin and an elastic heart,
But your blade - it might be too sharp
I'm like a rubber band until you pull too hard
Yeah, I may snap and I move fast

But you won't see me fall apart
**'Cause I've got an elastic heart

Is love so fragile and the heart so hollow?
Shatter with words, impossible to follow
You're saying I'm fragile, I try not to be
I search only for something I can't see.

I have my own life.
And I am stronger than you know.