I have failed
Yet again
Although this probably isn't a surprise
Another thin red line up my thigh
Each one having less of an importance to me

A scream or cry to be happy
Why me? I ask
To anyone who listens
But I don't want an answer
I don't want your sympathy

I can't let you care
You have problems of your own
Taking up my problems too,
Well that would just be too heavy of a load

For someone who is struggling with them self,
How can they love anybody else?
My hate within is only for me
I'm the only one who deserves to be unhappy.

I've learned that happiness
cannot be found in the form of a little
purple capsule.
I've learned that Pisa will have to wait until next time.
I've learned that the third mushroom
held in my sweaty palm was not as
big a deal compared to the other two opening my mind.
I've learned that a part of me
died that night where we ****** in a
room with no furniture.
I've learned that life is work and that
the molotov cocktail of Dubrah and eay mac
that came spewing from me left an orange tang
upon the floor.
I've learned that pain is better than numbness
and that jabbing a sewing needle repeatedly in my arm
was an educated decision.
Most importantly I've learned that together we are better than alone.

"I just don't care anymore"
The words ring in my head
Like a scratched tape

She doesn't care
That she's hurting the ones she loves
Every time she touches the metal to her skin

I think I get through to her
But the next day,
All progress is lost

I don't know what hasn't been said
What details she's strategically left out
But I won't give up

I refuse to let her become like me
Pink scars across her skin
With no way to be completely put back together

I can't let her keep spiraling down
Getting closer and closer to rock bottom
Hitting down hard right next to me

I *know she can do it
She just has to want to get better
But what if when that time comes

*It's already too late?

'You alright?'

Bracelets on her wrist
             are an unspoken sign
                          she's at it again

We got close.
I liked you.

I told you my story.
I liked you more.

You told me your story.
I loved you.

You got a girlfriend.
You loved her.

I became more depressed.
I smiled for you.

You made me promise.
I promised.

You're just another person I will promise to get better for.
But that really just means that I'll hide it better next time.

Their's is the Anger of a different kind
The anger of people who never tried
In their minds they soared to greatness
But reality for them was empty places
To the stranger they seemed evasive
Smiling behind their glamorous faces
I know these people well
I know their heart's and I know their hell

Actor's and Actresses but not of stage
Playing their parts with passion and rage
No curtain falls for them
No applause, no critics pen
Their's souls are trapped in self made cages
Freedom is easy but to make the changes

When your heart stops, your brain still works for seven minutes
Seven minutes to still feel pain.

Then why is it that when your heart breaks, your brain continues to play the memories of us over and over?
An eternity to feel the pain.

a Singularity
    we imagine
       in the Center
            of her trunk..
                one black hole
                     burns slow
                          steady and bright
                              though still dark..
                                    creating curves
                                         rings of sapwood
                                                 and of bark..
                                                       new warmth
                                                          ­  each morning
                                                         ­        gift of Sol..
                                                           ­          new branching
                                                       ­                    keeps vision
                                                          ­                       fires aglow...