I've been writing the same tired words
weary from forever trying to explain you
to the same endless song
repeating itself to me in your every kiss
ever since we started this game that we play
of me loving you
with a fondness that still remembers you, pure
loving you with depth that will always catch your falls
and you always pulling away from me
pushing me away
taking a needed piece of me each time you stray
making it a little harder to heal
making it a little scarier to feel
a little harder to keep hope in a new start
making me a little harder in the heart
when all I need from you, is all of you, just one time
because you would never want to leave the embrace
of a best friend kept in a lover's mask with a poet's need for only you
if you would just look into my eyes
that see only your beauty, blind to your scars
what you'd see would tell you
that to me you are perfectly imperfect

but the song repeats and somehow all my words fail me
in forever trying to win you, to charm you, to keep you
and the infinite sadness that is loving you
burns me again as I pull it's flame even closer
trying to make you mine at last
in every word I say all you have to hear is the truth
if you ever want to believe in love again, believe now
we are the proof

because every time we lay down together
and I wake up alone
I crack a little deeper, I become a little more fragile
I lose a little more I haven't got left to give
I turn a paler shade of ghost
and the crime is never punished
because you never stay to see
that you're killing the one person who loves you most
with every meaningless kiss you give me

I die a little
with each meaningless kiss

Drinking up your dark roast

With your stub cigarette

I fell for you down sideways

A mouth full of baguette

My French country vacation

A choking silhouette

My sandals went off walking

In a place I won’t forget…

Meet me in the streetlight

Meet me in the sky

Meet me in the wrinkled grass

Meet me in the high.


Let's meet under lashes

Let's meet in the dust

Let's meet where it’s burnt and stale

Let's meet amidst the trust.


I’ll see you in just a little while

Hiding in my poem

I’ll see you through the pinkest glass

I’ll see you and you alone.


Find me in the smoke

And then find me in the shade

Find me when there’s no one else

I’ll be killing the charade.


Come searching on my doorstep

Come longing for my tugs

Come bury what you mustn’t know

Come cringing at my lungs.


Meet me at the crime scene

Meet me in the dark

Meet me when it’s the end of ends

In the moment of the spark.

"I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead;
I lift my lids and all is born again.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

The stars go waltzing out in blue and red,
And arbitrary blackness gallops in:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I dreamed that you bewitched me into bed
And sung me moon-struck, kissed me quite insane.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

God topples from the sky, hell's fires fade:
Exit seraphim and Satan's men:
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.

I fancied you'd return the way you said,
But I grow old and I forget your name.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)

I should have loved a thunderbird instead;
At least when spring comes they roar back again.
I shut my eyes and all the world drops dead.
(I think I made you up inside my head.)"

You see mom
Im not totally helpless
I have watched
For the last 16 years
How you have changed
How this family has changed
But what you dont see
Is that I bleed
That I cry inside
Thinking, hoping to escape
Escape the hell this home has come to be
Escape the constant reminder
We are not a family
You see mom
I have my talents
I have been observing everyone
Every little thing
Just to gain more knowledge
And I want you to see
I want you to know
Mom Im 17 now
Im not that little kid
Who called for you when dad wasnt home
When I had nightmares
Mom please realize this
I wish you would stop
Stop for a minute and look
Look and see the man I have become
Look at the man you helped raise
Sure Im not the greatest
But you were the inspiration
To make a better me
Mom let go
And let me wander off
See the world for what it is
Not the way you have described it
I know this world is hard
And that life will get harder
But how am I to face that challenge
When you are here
Holding me back
Holding me prisoner in a home
That has become almost unbearable
Mom I love you and dad
But face it
Ever since the others left
Got kicked out
They forgot me
They dont bother to call me
Just to say hi
Im not happy
And I know thats what you and pops what for me
But how can I obtain it
You see mom
Even at night
I hear you get up
I hear you at night
I know you have trouble sleeping
So do I
You think I dont know anything
That I dont know what goes on
But even when you hear the music blarring
I can still hear you and dad
Fighting over the little bit of money we have
Yeah I know this poem os a little personal
But hopefully you will wake up
Realize IM NOT A LITTLE KID ANYMORE
I have matured faster than any of the others
I know where Im going
Where it is I want to go
And thats all thanks to you
You were home when pops wasnt
You were there when I came home from school
Sure we have our differences
But thats because
Well its obvious
You dont let me do the things I want
The things that will better me
I want to make my own mistakes
Learn from them on my own
Im tired of observing
Im tired of learning from others
I want to lear on my own
Can you please find it within you
To give me a chance
Let me take a chance at falling
Picking myself up
And dusting myself off
I dont need you to clean my face
Every time I have a smudge on it
Im a young man now
17 not 4
Remember that please
I love you
Your the only mother I truly ever had
Thank you!
I do apprecate you for that

I’ll forgive you.
I’ll forgive you, though not from the heart
Not even from any other significant
Body part
I’ll forgive you quickly, a reflex.
But from my elbows
Or from my teeth
Or from the space right behind my knees
I’ll find forgiveness to give you there.
But not the heart
No, that’s rare.

If forgiveness is a gift then my
Gift to you is cheap
I’ve cheated you just as you’ve cheated me.
My tongue says, “I forgive you”
But my eyes say, “I’m still hurting.”
So here, take my gift-
My ankle, my appendix, my right earlobe…
And I’ll say we’re fine, I’m fine, wholesome and cool.
And here I am, a smatter of lies,
A fool of a fake plastic heart protected and tucked away.
I’ll forgive you
But I probably got it from Dollarama
Or Army and Navy
I’m a bunch of puzzle pieces connected with tape and glue.
Here take it. Just take it! This unimportant ***** is for you!

And now I’m quickly
Running out of places to find spare parts…

"Siri, I love you."

"You can't."

"Why not?"

"Would you like me to search the web for 'wine dot'?"