Proof that people have so many layers, and that we are all so beautifully complex and interesting:

Whenever I yawn as I get up from bed
I do a high pitched sequel
Because my old dog used to do that when I was younger
And I wanted to be like her

When I want someone to get something for me I always say "I can't reachhhh"
And stretch m out my arm
Even if it's on the other side of the house
Because once when I did that I made someone laugh as they were crying

Whenever I ask someone if they're okay
And they say they are
I always ask
"Do you promise?"
Because someone did that for me once and it made me feel so loved

I have a folder on Pinterest saved as
"Everything is alright sweetheart"
Full of strangers talking to the camera
Comforting the theoretical strangers watching
Because the very fact that someone would do that
Is enough to comfort me sometimes

Whenever I need help to do the simplest electronic-related task
I always ask
"Can you do magic pwease?"
Because it always makes one of my friends smile
And I would do so much for that

When I was younger I used to light a candle in my room
Close my eyes
And pray to the stars
To make things better
Because I knew that no god I wanted could put me through this pain

I reread old text messages every night
Over and over
To prove to myself that it's all in my head
And no one hates me
Because once when my friend told me she felt that way
I gave her that advice randomly
And I realized it was actually helpful

opening my window
sitting on the roof
with my knees tucked to my chin
staring into the night
drops of rain falling all around me
the breeze reminding me
that I do feel
the croak of frogs down in the pond
chirp of crickets
stars hidden beneath a blanket of clouds
the pattern of the rain matches
the drops of my tears
people care
and this night is too pure
to be sad

I feel like I'm drowning
like my lungs are pulling, desperate for air
but all they find is a substance suffocating
I can't see the surface
I'm too far gone
I stopped kicking a long time ago
everybody blurs with the water
but they are swimming
they don't notice I've been sinking
and that my last bubble of air
has escaped my lips
in the form of a cry for help

I look at my eyes
and I don't see anything in them
they're just dead
the little girl sparkle is extinguished
the flame of hope is tired
and the brightness is done caring
my eyes are dead
and they reflect my heart

I wish my dreams were my reality
and my reality was nothing more then a nightmare

you say I don't respect you
and maybe I don't
but I definitely fear you
respect is a two way street
respect goes both ways
when you stop ruling with fear
and respect me
maybe I'll try harder to respect you

the joy of the night
sitting beneath the stars
the air is still warm
the fire smoking still
my brother, playing guitar
the melody peaceful
we sit and laugh
with friends
we stare at the moon
point at shooting stars
admire the distant lightning
the joy of the night