Is there a sound for rain?
A children's book would describe it as
A pitter-patter
A soft drumming on the roof.
But these things don't seem to be
Enough
Rain.
What is it?
What does it sound like?
What does it feel like?
Rain is the breaking open of
The sky
High above
The torrential downpour of
A thunderstorm
Rain is the shadow on a
Sunny Day
My favorite shadow
The sound of rain has
no word
no spelling
Rain is the sound of
A million drops of water
Outlining buildings
People
trees
The sound of bare feet splashing
in puddles
The sound of laughter when a friend
slips
The squeak of wet shoes on a dry
floor.
The sound of a child's squeal at the
sight of a worm.
The sound of rice in a hollow log
The sound of late night walks
Louder than drizzle
Quieter than hurricane
Louder than silence
Quieter than noise
Rain is the feeling of a single
Drop of coldness hitting your
arm and raising goose bumps
Rain is the feeling of water
cascading over your legs as you
skip through a puddle
Rain is bare feet running across the
Sidewalk
Dodging each little crawly
That peaked it's head out of the soft ground
Rain is the smell of your conditioner
in your sopping hair.
Rain is the smell of newness
the smell of wet
the smell of a fresh start
permeating your nostrils.
Rain is happy
Rain is sad.
Rain is everything and nothing
In every way and no way at all.

Smoke trails up into the air
Sticky with the scent of
Vanilla and stale cigarettes
That stings my nose.
My shirt sticks to my back
and the sweat collects in my hair.
I swirl hot tea in my mouth
Vanilla creamer
Softening the bitterness of the tea.
My mind clouds with the words of
Aeschylus
Running in and around each other
I cannot make sense of any of it.
My head aches
from the smoke
and the stress
And I just want to stop.

It starts slowly.

Looking at you

But it’s not even you.

It’s a projection that you put on

For the world.

In the background:

I’m up in the woods, I’m down on my mind

I’m building a sill to slow down the time.

And overwhelmingly.

I miss you.

I know this, because the first one wells up.

It slowly wells up and I forbid it to fall.

It doesn’t fall.

What the hell?

I let it fall.

And it falls slowly.

Out of my eye

down my cheek.

Before i can track it

further.

more come.

like soldiers

at the yell of charge

they flood out of my eyes

i give a quiet yell

because i don’t want to feel this

You don’t deserve

to keep coming to my mind

i’m better than this.

Just as quickly as it starts

It stops.

Longing replaced with frustration.

God, I miss him.

Please help me stop.

And the beat drops me alone
It drops
It drops
It drops
And it echoes
In this tight space
Full of my belongings
Screaming solitude
sigh
And that echoes too
Matching with the rhythm
Of the bass
Trying to escape from the speakers.
Like I'm trying to escape
From this solitude
From these people
And like that
******* bass
I can't escape
I'm not equipped to escape
I can't be let out there.
Alone.
Even with people
I can't do it.
I don't know what I'm doing
Or what I want
But I know I'm hurt
And I can't tell you where
And I'm not sure I can tell you why
But I know that as long as I have this
Playing in the background
Overpowering my senses
Itching it's way into my scalp
I can forget.
I can forget.
I can lose myself in it
And forget the hurt
And forget the confusion
And forget everything
As long as I have this
**music

We
Lost
You
Today.
Our selfish
Human emotions
Can't fathom
What our lives
Will be like without you.
But we know where you are
And we will not forget you.

I like to pretend
That I'm over you
That I don't still think about what
We could've been
If I hadn't ******* things up.
I like to pretend
That you never left me
For good
That you're always coming back
But you're never coming back.
I like to pretend
That you never hurt me.
That emotional pain
I pretend
I never felt in my heart.
Burning
Burning
Burning.
I pretend
When I tell everyone that I'm over you
But I still think about you
Everyday
Every week
All the time.
And I long for what we could have been
Even though I don't know what that is.
And try as I might to
Change it,
Ignore it,
The fact remains
That what we had
Was destroyed by me.
And what you did
Hurt me.
And I am not done.
Feeling this hurt
This betrayal
This,
Everything
Bottled up inside.
Rather than explain
Why I can't
Look at your picture
Hear your name
Read your poems
I pretend.
And they seem okay with that
But I know that you
Would see right through that
You
The only person
That can tell
When
I'm pretending.

Is that what this was all about?
Her?
You are a
Self
Preservationalist
You only care
As long as you
Don't get hurt.
And in doing that
You hurt
The one's around
You
don't get it.
The things you do
They mean things to
Other people
See it.
Feel it.
Hurt.
And I don't want you
Around her.
And she knows
What you've done
To me
And to them.
And she knows
How you make me
feel.
And she will never
text you
facebook you
Get over it.
Get over HER.
Open your eyes
And see
What
You are doing to
Me.