The hurse crept through in a thick haze,
I'd been holding this off for so many days,
The black turned the innocent white to grey slush,
The people gathered in gentle rush,
They wore flashes of colour teamed with monochrome,
A painted smile on ladies face,
Men had grown stubble,
Miles now seemed so so close,
The donations box rattled with loose change,
The crematorium seats squeaked,
My grandma held my hand,
My aunt held my back,
As I held myself together with sticky tack,
I walked by the coffin,
Death lay inside,
This small wooden box,
Didn't seem capable of life,
A phone rattled in the back,
Lively again, somebody was in demand.
Funny anecdotes were shared,
False smiles grew,
I looked at the coffin,
That's when I knew,
That the body in the coffin wasn't really you.
You were someone who would chase monsters away,
A man who would hold my troubles at bay,
Brush my hair the way no one else could,
Make all the evil no longer seem bad,
For that fragile body in those sides,
Will never be my dad,
Not when it's ashes,
Churned by the sea,
In my heart, you shall forever be.

I want want want,
I need need need,
A love that will let me bleed,
To seep into his thoughts,
Flounder in his bed,
Be all the locked up secrets
In his jumbled head,

Want need want,
Someone to hold me so tight,
When all I desire is to fight,

Need want need
This terrible disease.

I miss what you used to be,
know what you are,
for this mythical being has depart.

you've left my heart,
exiting my brain,
no longer my eternity.

I'm lost in translation
Without inspiration
**** this lonely nation
This god forsaken generation.

I write and I sketch
All to forget
How wrong I was about this bet

I press the keys of my instrument
Just to neglect
My naïve intellect.

All this works for some time
Until it comes in reflex
And bites me in the neck

When he said 'I love you'
His skin turned from dark
To white.

For he had now seen the light.

When he said 'I love you'
The foreign words tied his guts,
his mind.

For this had left him blind.

When he said 'I love you'
Everything was put right,
Except in his world.

He was gone on the next flight.

home can be:
a person,
place,
house,
a room,
a lesson,
a blessing,
feeling,
believing,
dreaming,
a country,
the sea,
and object,
a tree,
the breeze,
ironically,
being locked into home,
is what lets you
free.

whether you're listening to music,
or watching TV,
being somewhere else
is the best place to be.

have your head in a book,
or closing your eyes,
being somewhere else,
will always be wise.

You're my heart body and soul,
The four strings to my rock n roll.

The bandana that is stuck in my hair,
You're what I take everywhere.

The thud in my temple,
Making my life simple.

The warmth in my hand,
You give me more than just a One
Man
Band.

Annoys me when you think I'm weak,
When I've seen my own father die,
Kept a straight face when I had bad results,
Stabbed myself with a safety pin,
Fallen backwards onto my head,
Ripped a tendon but refused hospital,
Chipped half my tooth and waited for a week,
Get brain freeze whenever I eat something cold,
Have a constant pain in my right shoulder,
And dull ache in my jaw,
Sunburnt my scalp,
Torn hair out because the knot was too big,
Had to defend my own work,
Had friends that are self absorbed,
Plans that weren't meant to be,
So I really think I can put up with,
You falling out of love with me.

Behind these bars is where I pace,
This is my castle, my place.

Behind these bars I tick day by day,
Waiting for my que to get away.

Behind these bars I remember why,
Why I need to wait for these days to pass by.

Behind these bars my mind drifts,
To when I stole an elevator lift.

Behind these bars my heart sinks,
I remember drowning a foe in alcoholic drink.

Behind these bars I recollect,
On when I made a teacher infect.

Behind these bars I stand once more,
For breaking down every door.

Behind these bars I think of the irony,
In the fact that all my troubles are inside of me.

Behind these bars, I never break through,
cos you're as dangerous to me,
As I am to you.

I catch the stars as they fall from the sky,
Each of them is a sparkle of 'why?'

I brush the space dust with a broom,
To tidy the hair of the man on the moon.

I catch satellites as they whirl,
As the lack of communication makes me hurl.

I swipe the light into the black hole,
To show the deep deep cold.

My hand waves the gravity away,
As all weight fades fade fades.

my heart will still burn,
and I know I shall never learn,
how quickly love can turn,
to this pain that leaves me yearn.

let's escape,
get away for awhile,
together, anything can be accomplished,
and we will conquer the world,
start our own civilization,
loving everything we do
each new adventure we embark will be magic
other people we shall forget because they're tragic
once we've adapted there's no turning back
more love for one another than we've ever had.

we are strangers in mask,
to disappear,
our task,
to run behind a cape,
willing yourself,
not to break,
to roam lost land,
no one in sight,
to hold your hand.

It tangles, twists and twines,
loop the loop around your neck.

bounces and flounces,
swept in the wind.

knotted and split,
frayed at the ends,

tamed with a plastic,
tied into place,

only for it to slip,
and envelope your nape
.

funny how you said, you didn't want to hurt me,
when all you've done is leave scars in my memory,
and wounds in my heart.

Hey little girl,
Yes you with the curls,
And the shadows beneath your eyes,
Don’t let words get you down,
And boys make you frown,
Hold your tiara head up high,

Yes you little girl,
With the halo blonde curls,
Don’t be afraid of the dark,
For nothingness is our neighbour,
The fruit of our labour,
The comfort when you lie stark,

You, the little girl,
That craves diamonds and pearls,
Beauty, riches, she twirls,
In her short dress that grazes her thighs,
Girl, you’re meant to be wise,
Don’t flaunt what you’ve got,
Don’t act like you’re hot,
That’s all you’ve been told,
Cover up and act cold,

Silly little girl,
Playing the rules,
Trying to fit the idea of the tools.

this feeling bubbles up,
from the cauldron below,
the hot smoke pushes through,
my organs that were once snow.

salivary glands seep,
and mouth becomes too big,
as this gripping pain,
dig, dig, digs.

the spew of my tangled thoughts,
this my coping mechanism,
exposes all the evil,
as if my own exorcism.

I don't know what I am anymore,
all i do is lay on the floor,
thinking of you,
and all of the things I need to do.

I slowly slip to the next room,
and slide away down the flume,
and continuously ponder,
why I've gone yonder.

A daddy's girl is what I was,
but all that precious time,
has become lost.

holding his hand tight,
in fear he would take flight,
in the cool blanket of the night.

his shadow still exists in my palm,
he is the reason of being how I am,
even though I'm doing all I can.

he used to rock me,
and brush my weave,
how unfair can this be?

to have your pa gone,
what have I done?
for him to go for so long.

love, what a beautiful thing,
it ties me together, string,
by string.

love, love, love,
such beautiful stuff,
it's one step up from  lust.

in love is what I am with you,
and being apart just won't do.

little girl lucy,
climbed up a tree,
and among the clouds she wondered,
what she could be.

she had chipped pink nails,
and ash blonde hair,
a voice that could take her anywhere.

she hoped of a future
and to be loved,
she flew up above.

oh how that little girl soared,
until she came crashing to the floor,
and all of her hopes and dreams were no more.

she fell into the pits of hell,
oh her times were swell.

she danced with the devils,
and pranced around kindle,
now, she'd been swindled.

the master himself,
wore a black mask,
making her life a misery was his task.

he twirled his trident
of orange and red,
he ****** it into her little head.

lucy was gone,
her childhood wrecked,
all because the devil,
wanted to bring her down to his level

you're a mooner,
a spooner,
a star in the sky,
my twilight,
delight,
the comfort in the dark,
a spark,
when we lay stark,
flesh and skin,
my darling your beauty,
radiates from within.

my hands are webs that let the spiders creep in,
my legs roots for the ground,
a human body is not all I am.

I anchor myself,
yet roll with the tide.

yet I still need you by my side.

I hate that your name still catches,
and your face still makes me drop,
there seems to be no escape.

Veins like rivers wielding through,
they lead to my heart,
which beats solely for you.

our little boy Bruce
in slip on shoes,
swinging on mummy's arm

princess Niahm
holds daddy's hand
never to let him go

Bruce has pa's hair,
Niahm momma's eyes,
together they're a happy pair.

a batman princess
and a monkey boy
never afraid to play with one an others toys

oh our love for you shall never fade
if daddy and I have our way.

we'll be together,
I'll arrive at your door
knock three times
And wait a while
I know
I'll hope
You'll say
"Babe, you're mine"

all I do
is wait for you
what a sorry life
I survive

I'm through with you and what you've become,
your absence makes me numb.

I miss you like the deserts and the long gone rain,
As the womb misses it's babe,
Finger and the ring.

I long for you with no end,
The same way a candle needs the flame,
And a book that must be read.

I need you as a child needs snow,
As an adolescent wants life,
A pet longing for loving touch.

you've left these marks all over my skin,
I hope one day you're my next of kin.

you leave these purple marks,
here and there.

a pinch between teeth,
a love so bare.

my hair a halo,
veins rivers wielding through,
my face a solar system,
skin like milk,
knees are the dunes,
eyes hold the ocean,
mouth contains the storm,
tongue hailing down,
purple under eye bags, same as winter clouds,
this is my body,
sometimes I wonder how

the blinds are shut,
the shutters closed,
nobody appears to be home,

but here we have a glow
from deep inside,
perhaps a glimmer of lost pride,

the light shone through the shutters,
a floodlight on the grass,
they were at home

oh at last!

at last!
I know who I am,
I'm honest, I'm loyal.
old music is my preference,
I'm a romantic and can't hold in my admiration
for what I believe to be good,
I read a lot,
I like action and horror,
silver jewelry only,
I love your naked body as much as your naked soul,
for you can have me now,
because I am now complete,
I've found the love for me
that has always been within.

my nails dig deep,
and nobody knows,
the secrets I keep,
the darkness grows.

oh how it kills,
to see someone else call you theirs
when you say you're mine,
how the wound opens
and the salt rubs in
when I see you call all the girls the same thing.

love is holding a bow,
and your partner holding the arrow,
seeing the force get stronger,
and trusting they won't let go.

love is giving your partner a pistol,
and watching them press it against your heart,
longing for them not to tighten around the trigger,
and blow.

I love you more,
I love you most,
I'll always love you,
I like to boast.

I'll always be the person that says how I feel,
I message you at 6am telling you I'm afraid you're not mine,
I'll text you at 5 saying how bad I want you before I'm out of time,
I'll tell you to kiss me harder and longer and rougher,
hold my back and tangle my hair,
tell you I need you and I long for you more each day,
say that I miss you if you go away,
tell you your best features
and how I adore your little quirks,
all because I'm afraid
If I don't say it now
when will I be able?
for tomorrow I could fall into a train track
or a car run me over
and you will never know . . .

distance can break you
and make you fear
but your lover will always be there
I swear my dear

distance can harm you in every way
but trust is key
or else your love
tends to flee

so hold them tight even though miles lay thick
scrimp change and notes
and get your ticket
and in your arms you will be

so stay strong my darling
together we shall be
i'm sorry for worrying
and being too attached
but my greatest fear is losing you
and never getting you back

guys with veiny arms and eyebrow scars
are more perfect than the stars

weak at the knees, blood pumping through
is enough to make me fall for you

nike janoskis and a quirky wave
makes me long for you to stay

your accent and loose walk
the way you use your right hand for your fork

the little things you say and do
all the stuff that makes up you

is simply enough for me to fall
and I can't see no way out, no, not at all.

oh how dumb i have become,
no thought just doubt,
i'm a shadow of my former self,
power i used to hold,
now all i clutch is you
oh to be strong,
clever
and brave.

love of mine,
I will remain yours
for the duration of my time.

through all the blowing months,
and the seconds that seem slow.
you my sacred Granth.

my heart will yearn,
and control won't be mine,
my insides will forever burn.

my body which in-cases
will grow ever hollow
and the fragments of my heart in precious places.

You don't care for me,
and that's okay,
because if I were you,
I wouldn't stay.

oh to sit on an apartment balcony,
with my body folded into yours,
as you untangle my knots
and smooth your skin,
the world beneath us
untimely busy
while life for us seems to stop,
our hearts beating simultaneously,
your love all mine,
the city that we live in
my new found house,
but you my darling the home
in which I will for ever grow,
and you my precious baby
promise to never go.

It must feel so wonderful for your lover to forever dedicate their life to you,
for their hands you've known for so long to wear a ring that binds you both,
the happiness that exudes from their smile when they make you theirs for eternity,
to belong to the person who makes you swoon at the very sight,
the person who's voice you can distinguish in the largest of crowds,
the body that fits so rightfully with yours,
for you lover to own your heart and want to keep you
as long as you both live in harmony must be the most valuable, sensual feeling to ever engulf one's body.

Isn't it insane
how I give up what I love
because I know it will better you
even if it makes me worse,
it's completely absurd
that I will drive myself away
just so you will stay
how crazy is it
that I love you
even more than I love myself.

do you mind if I hide
forever more,
for I am not wanted here
and I never really was,
my body repels me
and so do you,
so goodbye my love
because truly
I
am
through. . .