I’m not sure how I am without it
Not anymore, it’s ******* toxic
What the hell am I supposed to do?
Just down another and forget to
Sleep, eat, or anything else
Just go out, smoke, get out of the house
What now? I’m broke with nothing to lose
Take another one, don’t worry, not like you can choose
It’s your lifeline, your sanity, I’m so ******* done
With these schedules and meals, just hand me a gun
I won’t shoot it, not right, I’ll aim for the temple
Maybe then I can relax and try to stay mellow
****, now I can’t show her, she’ll think I’m insane
For wanting to shoot my own one-sided brain
**** me, I’m tired, I don’t want this anymore
Cure me, ******* doctors, what else is there in store?
More pills, more help, more mother ******* ****
I’m done with this, with you, I’m tired of it.
Don’t tell me I have this, I don’t want to believe you
I’ll keep living my life as if I can do a “re-do”
Whatever, it’s fine, I’ll deal as I go
I don’t need this, I have this, just won’t let it show
Don’t judge me, don’t hate me, because of this ****
Grow up, acknowledge, I’m living with it.

Take a deep breath
Just breathe
Life is beautiful
Not just as it seems
Look for the good
In all of the bad things
Don't let it turn you
Look for the meaning
Life is more
Than what you can see
Relax, and reflect
And let yourself be

Sleep becomes my sanctuary
Where else is there to hide?
My fear is my reality
It's hidden on the inside.
Save me from my slumber
I'm sick of hiding here.
I can't keep going under,
Running from this fear
Of love, of lust, of loneliness.
I'm scared of life itself.
Save me from this holiness
Of living in self doubt.
I'm stronger than I'll ever know.
This, I want to reach:
A realization I want to show,
And wish every soul to keep.
We all are perfect, pure and strong.
We all are capable of more.
If we just strive and we just long
To reach our full potential
I'm sure we'll reach nirvana,
I'm sure we'll reach our heaven,
For hell's a place we're all in.

My brain flourishes
With thoughts of destruction
I want you to hurt
I want you to worry
I want you to feel
That feeling of fury
I felt when you called me
A *****. When you compared me
To her. With your lectures
On smoking. You hypocrite!
Don’t you see? Your drinking
Is the same, as destructive as me.

Give me a moment
Give me a second
Let me breathe
Let me think
Let me live
Let me sink
I want to fail
I want to try
To experience this
To experience life

Pop them in the morning
Pop them in the evening
This is how I live, now
This is how I survive
This keeps the thoughts from surfacing
This keeps me from going crazy
But I'm drugged all the time
I'm hopped up, held down
Forced to keep on going
Everything's cloudy, nothing's real
Everything's bland, colours just fade.

Give me an out
I'm begging you, please
I can't take this pleasure
I can't take this pain
I can't take this pressure
I'm not completely sane
Enough to go through this ****
Not again
Not me