My skin sought the company of hers
Finger tips brushed against my bony wrist
I almost tasted her lips
When she spoke of journeys downwards
Into caves that hide the darkest intentions

Her fingers laced atop her bobbing knee
- she's impatient to speak -
While I'm eager to listen
If only to pretend that each word that touches her mouth was my lips pressed firmly

The light in your bedroom keeps me company
Though it makes me wish you'd disappear
Because I don't think you deserve my sadness,
And yet I give it to you anyway - everyday
Handpicked and wrapped up with a sort of pleading desperation
A "please take me back there, sitting on your front step with sweet consolidation"
But we don't go there anymore,
And so the light in your bedroom keeps me company,
And at nighttime I wish I'd disappear

The days each filled with emptiness,
and that was all I got.
I locked myself away and hid,
then my heart began to rot.

I thought I'd clear away the dark
If I kept my mind racing.
So I filled my head with thoughts of others
And built up a strong casing.

When these things each fell away,
The darkness did come back.
And now I spend each night, here feeling
Like this is a heart attack.