Before you dream of me tonight
you must first know,
I lost myself.

When I get close to someone,
I lose them.
Which is why I don’t get attached,
anymore.

I’ve learned not to love,
never attach
not even to myself.
In case I unknowingly decide to leave,
too.

Mother never told me
Every person, every item
Every friendship, all the promised words and pinky promises,
are gone.

Mother never told me
If you try to call the dead,
the phone won’t ring;.
They’re gone, and they’re never coming back.

So I’ve learned not to love,
never attach.
They all seem to leave
anyway.

There are plenty of things mother
never told me about, and
these unfamiliar obstacles seem to
pop out at me,
when I least expect it.
Mother never told me how love isn’t always enough
to keep a relationship.

I’m not sure if I want to grow up any more.
I miss the crazed emotions I often felt as I kid.
When I fell asleep on the couch,
but woke up in my bed.
When I didn’t care about what I was wearing.
When my biggest fear was the dark.

I want to be afraid of the monsters hiding under my bed,
not in my head.
Can I be afraid of bugs and cuts?
Not heartbreak.
Not death.
Not growing up.

What’s the point in being afraid,
when every fear we have,
becomes a part of us.

Always remember to
Not be afraid
anymore, your fears are a part of you;
a part of you
that you’ve yet to discover.