I've been waiting for this feeling to flow out of my fingertips
onto the tattered page.
My pen mocks me while it scribbles Words.
Just words.
*******.
Stop
Back
Again
My poetry is faded.
My brain's mind won't tell my body what it wants.
Pills
Alcohol
Regrets.
The world is always questioning.
Everyone shouts to me:
Everyone feels the way you do!
******* talk about it!
You don't know what I mean
What I want
you have no idea
you can't diagnose me
You don't know what my words even mean
They're foreign to you
So i hold my tongue
Bite at my lips.
Taste the blood
Eyes down
Okay.
Tell me who I am.
I can take it for a minute
Then go away
Let me be what you made me.
Selfish
Entitled
Superior
I'll sit in my makeshift castle
the master of my death.

Your sweetness has dissolved. Now all I taste is bitterness.

Your hands on my hips
Your eyes on her lips.

I'm heavy, so heavy.
I want to sleep,
curl up and weep.

My fingers fight their tingle
My lips become luscious,
and my cheeks, soft.

I'm warm
you're beautiful.
Please, speak some more.

I need to tell you something.
I have so many stories.
I promise, I'm funny.

Your hair is so soft.
Yes, you can give me a massage.
Your hands fit perfectly against my back.

I feel so dizzy.
Will you hold my hand?
I need your support to stay upright.

The mirror is betraying me.
I'm red and messy.
Where's the bathroom?

Your bed would be more comfortable.
You can stay too.
Just lock the door behind you.

You can tell them I slept on the floor.

A thousand miles seems so far
when you desperately want
to be on the opposite end
of where you stand
but are not sure
if that's where
you are
meant
to go.