my lips feel blue
                                         am i invisible to you ?
from the icy walls
                                        i don't understand what you want me to do
that guard the real you

wind gusts and snowfalls
keep people away
frostnip on my freckles
maybe i've been reckless
but maybe i could't care less

rest assured!
the universe hath spoken to me
through synchronicity
numbers all i see
one two three three three
scattered intentionally
precision in mystery
the more you look the more you see
look at me
writing all this poetry queue rhymes and lines to cope with reality

all i want are cuddles
but all i have is ketamine
salty tear puddles
******* and nicotine

i'll let my soul dissociate
and drift through inner space
beyond the ego i fabricate
lies the void, my comfort place

i'll cuddle with my demons
who hold me close and tight
embrace my mental heathens
who hold me from the light

i'll pretend i don't need human touch
in a battle of primal sensation
and when the beaten conscious hurts too much
i surrender to tranquilizer mediation

some things are better left unsaid
left in the journal next to my bed
black letters on blank pages
purged from mental recesses
tucked safely away
as i dream to be dead
no need to read my dreary dialogue
the sift and sort of mental fog
leave it there
spare yourself instead

****, friend, you got me thinking in rhymes
turning to verse in these sad times

words afloat rhymes arise
strung together in effortless ties

despair finds rhythm and rhyme in time
live or die
it’s all a lie
oh oh sorrow
my thoughts awry
through the night await tomorrow
to find out why
we live or die

writing lines of poetry
underneath a lone pine tree
taking in the symmetry
interwoven geometry
changing with every century
wondering who i can be
if i wasn’t my own enemy
if thoughts did not take hold of me
if i could let go and be free

laughing for real
like when you can't breathe
and your eyes tear up
and the harder your friend laughs
the harder you laugh
and you keep being a fool
because it doesn't matter
and for once
you don't really care all that much
what anyone thinks