I see the fire
and it is Red
red like its suppose to be.
I see my Girl
and she is Happy
happy like she is supposed to be.
I see the stars
and they are Loud
loud like they are suppose to be.
I see the Moon an he is Calm
calm like he is supposed to be.
And the Sun has not yet risen
but it will

Glassy eyes still look glassy
I see them through window tint
Pain and all
He took my hands again
Behind doorstep, this time
He told me I would be safe here
In his arms
These scale-fish shingles and
Curtain shields
And I believed him
Yes I did
As I play behind the picket fence...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Loving the weeds for being free
Thinking they look a little like me
Steeping them in my morning tea
Dreaming of Life, the greater things
Then kissing him on his wounded cheek
Grabbing his hands, down on my knees

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And leading him
One day
Outside our Loving gate
Over street-walks, and light corners
And past the cage lures  
Showing him a life
Without sidewalks and doors    
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - -         
     - - - -  - - -  A
- - - - - - spiral - -
in the - - -   .
- - -    picket - - - -
     - - -  fence - - -  - - - -
   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He swore
That if
I lived his life
Then he would let me show him mine.  

And I believe him now
I believe him this time

The water that pours
from your greasy faucet
I have found Heaven through you!!
The God of water
that is not there
came for me this morning
after sleeping
at a
truckstop.
I bathed myself into glory!
I washed years go by from land
I saw forever in the distance
while walking back to my car.
These fields I have never seen
though I know I've been here before,
at least I've though about it..

Some days
Ill put
My feet
In sand
And remember
Life is
Beautiful
The Sun
Will shine
Into ringing
Ears
And remind me
Of all
That's forgotten
Not a soul
Will judge me
Immersed in sand
My reason
There
Is final
My heart
On land
The Ocean
Grand
The Lust
for Life
is Vital

The challenge is in the People.
We The People.
As we live behind our masks
the governments iron shades.
Our lives become re-connected
as we join together in loneliness
and greed.
What happened to us?
to the whole of a people.
To Love?
To the sound of laughter
and raw happiness.
Is it so hard to come by?
Am I not alone?
I will thieve the reality of our nation
and I will steal the complexities of our things
of our attachments, morals and
accomplishments!
I will re-construct the entirety of a Nation.
Success is in the People
not our things.
We'll buy an SUV
and wast away in the fake reality
which we all know so **** well.
What is real is in the mind
let it be your soul!
Know what you want!
don't listen to 'them'.

It's a funny thing
when the song you know
to love
gets bleached
onto your sunny day
and all days since
become part
of that sunny tune.

It may be meaningless whilst your mindful listen
then days
and days align
and that song becomes you!

And you talk about that day
as if experienced
in person.
You talk about that day
as if to reminisce
about a moment
you expected to reminisce about.

But just like many others
that day came
and past.
Like others.
And all you have to speak of is that one song.
Like it really meant something
to listen.

It will be recreated in my mind
time
and time
over.

"The best part about living is dying,
without dying, there would be no reason to really live."

"I do not like the white house
the white house has no smells."

"People are like baby mountains
who don't realize how large they already are."

"Dreams are like stardust. You cant see them, but they will ALWAYS be there"

"YES! I will stop littering. Once YOU stop wrapping things in garbage!"

"Life is beautiful,
not because it is,
but because it cannot not be."

"Stop writing in straight lines."
  


-Me mostly, and things I've heard passing by

your call meant everything to me
but it never happened
you never called me
you weren't there
so I stayed up in long intervals of the night
worrying of you
and your response to me
I cried sometimes
well aware of heartbreak
and soon to come
messages
of let downs
all over
and now thinking of you feels hard
and overbearing
but I do it anyway
for I see something
in your eyes
I feel something
in your breath
you are special to me
despite of everything
I want you

Hold on!

Like the fire does,
to the sky..

We know heaven in fossils.
We are godly, we are wise.
I held on to you, dear cloud
with rain in your eyes
I showed you life in fire
It means something to Die.
Long winter says over
I kissed him goodbye.
And with spring comes new wind.
              It is new wind..
And what could feel better?
Sweet breezes.
New eyes.

The River moves
so we dont have to
oh longing to rush
and will
we stay statues
now still
with calm
for there is no anxious rushing
moving through us.
The visuals have become more
than just visuals
my dream is to fall in
just enough!
We wait patiently
for the cold
to touch upon us!

Oh River we stay still.
Oh River we stay still.

Please
die.
So I can clean my room.
I need to distract our connection
for we cannot
get
that
close!
Where our souls meet
in perfect circles.
Become me!
Every bit!
And shall we never break!
Forever touch!
But what about my other connection,
he is more electric than you think.
His positive energy.
I have no choice but to follow!
And fall gently,
so gently
into you.
Happiness I mean.
Whatever you are
anyway.
A pretty picture
for the scattered mind,
to make my life
a whole again.
My awkward,
altered
reality.
As true as it is,
like the moon and my tiny planet.

THEN.

A blink passed
and it was over.
My tiny world,
it was gone.

I
say
   let
     the
       WEEDS
      grow past
          my
      weary ends.
    I will forget them
  once again

but thats okay.

The world around me turns

My crooked spirals

Caving in to the delusions  
Of whats not there
then rising in moment
moments

The eye of my soul
he rotates
keeping perfect placement
within reflection of all directions
relaying multi dimensional thoughts
into my life
And nurturing the all knowing within me.

I fall in Circles.

Loneliness strikes me
hard
in beauty
atop a
Montana Mountain.
The sun gold mirror cast
from our sun now deflected
saddens me
even in all its
core massaging comfort.
It reminds me that I am me-
and these spiraling clouds
they remind me that
there is even calm in motion.
I have no reason to not feel big-
I have no reason to not feel small
or present
I am here!
I am beautiful
and I am
alone.
Alone as the mountains,
the bush-rock
and sky.
And as these clouds keep dispersing from ground to high
I pass through it
it solidarity.

The city runs and sleeps
below me
and I sit here in motion.
Right now this loneliness
in fact feels like happiness.
I believe this with all my heart
though I wish it wasn't true.

Keep walking
up your mountain.
Hike long
you hike hard.
Stop to relax
with good wine and smoke.
Speak with shamans
about water
and believe them.

Always believe them.

Then when river flows
you be it.
Find your rhythm as you go .
pour yourself through soil
and melt your icy snow.
Find your peak
don't leave it.
Reflect on why your their.
Stay atop your mountain

where you can watch most

of the setting sun.

Before I traveled the world
I sat
and I wondered about the bathroom sink.

Does it have meaning!
Drops of life,
next to a human waterfall?

I wondered for then
and then only.

My life,  now
having no abandoned thoughts.
Yes.
I live for the now
I sing songs in my shower
of earths water untouched
and blow distant light
as I run at the day
so shall we forever stay in our way?
Forevermore.
March away into my
nightless abiss.

Tell me.
What to you do when your in Love?
So in Love.
Like your eyes finally matched up with that other person you expected to be with-
that person you thought you would always meet?
He's a gentleman,
and I could not agree more with the way that he smiles.
He's perfection. He is life-
my new reason for eating and breathing.
I'm in Love!
So in Love.
I dream in Love and wake in Love.
He's with me in the mountains
and in the starts.
And when I gaze up
there you are!
In my minds eye
he's just there
staring
right down
back at me.
He's the trees
and in the snow
all my hopes
he's all I know.

Though my Lover doesn't Love me.
Oh my Love
I'll let him go.

People feel stupid, alone
in crowded places.
What is your tattoos
and hair doos
***** looks
and drug use
going to do for you now?

I once drew a rose,
on the back of my skin.
It was etched deep in red,
I was waiting for him.
I watched my rose part,
from the seams of my mind.
And what ended up was the end-
my goodbye.

My friends
of long distances
and time.
Thank you
for being my shoulder.
Thank you
for coming from
where I was from
and knowing me
in you.
Children fill their lonely days
and expect it differently
with growth.
Then there was no time to miss you,
you were already there.
I had not know you.
Today I feel my tears have past
Today, I do not know you.
One day I may
forget your name.
Forget how I've became..

It is a stair
so strong,
so short
yet everlasting.

His eyes not wide
feels not like  sadness
nor like guilt

I feel his longing
his pursuing  
like a bee who sees a flower

buzzing briefly
till he meets her
colors bleeding
sweet nectar.

Hazel eyes
I said I Love you
in my head
without you looking.

He mouthed it briefly
while he kissed me
tongue  and breathing

"I feel it too."

keep moving

I see people as if they are memories.
Before I meet them
after I meet them
yeah...

I find of Fall
like I find of you.
Slow moving
fast grooving
all of that..

Ill move to your music
and Ill sing five months later.
My life moves on
like you where later...

Winter does not exist
if you choose to chase away from it.
Just never let the Sun hail to the moon!
And never let the Moon stale your focus!

There are rivers over there
that smell of sweet flowers.

My Passion
Rays through me
Like the spurts
Of a Sun
And it was not that I am
It is that I was
And I can be again
With quite patience
And reason
Meditation
And ground
Bare feet on a door step
I was there.

I sit here in Love.
I feel lonelier than ever.
I realize these fantasies
of running away,
really just means
running to him.
My two days alone
snaps me back
once again.
I am still my own person.
He is still his own Man.
A Man who will search the edges
of the Planet with me!
I will never fly alone now
with my other half.

Though I have my life to running.

And So
I started thinking of my life
As if it never happened-
Slow, slow
Progression
Observation
That just wasn't there
My genius
Is such a coward in the corner
And most may not seek to come near
Today I stair drunk
As if I wasn't the day before
And so on...
And I remember of
Times of laughter and Pride
no more
And Tomorrow I dance Loudly
In that same corner
no more
and Today my drunk stair
Yes!
You look upon the strange stars of our city!
And Yes!
You counter your fear!
Though Tomorrow is long-
And after-all
We are Here.

We
do not want to associate with them.
They
call us names; no.
We
call them names,

rather,
....

You kept my eyes ******
And nose clean.
Knees deep in between rebellion
And the next best thing...

Telling you I love you
Just like I always had.
Playing life with jealousy
And singing of my Dad.

I **** the silence with music.
As you sink into my empty apartment.
My soul may as well go now
**** it slowly  
Then resurrect it.

Oh my Love!
I have found Heaven through you!!

For this, I will see you another day --

Thank you.

:)

.      
.      .      .
     .            .
        .      .
          .
­             .
          .       
      .
 .
My life
is like
a rolling
spiral
downward
and
downward
it falls
touching ground for brief moments
only to lore back
up again
into nights telling sky
always perfect
and knowing.
Though uncertainty still lurks
I let Universe sink over me-
stars shining so bright
they show my way
back home.
Upward and downward
I move
feeling comfort
in
       falling.
                    .      
                     .      .      .
                         .            .
         ­              .    .      .
                       .
                       .
                        .          
                         .

My stomach turns
as I look at you with sad eyes.
The stair seems playful
and haunting -- but only for a brief moment.
Your look clears my mind
after repeats in processes.
I feel all of you again
and most importantly
I feel me.

You give me space
You give me affection
it is freedom in translation.

You lay me down
then lift me up
so I can walk away
no stomach turning
I am filled with happiness
Alone in happiness
together in Love.

He said
Cold is just a feeling
Though I swore it wasn't so
So I closed my heart to moments
"Let it grow"

Then he said,
"Don't do it my way
or I'll put your mind in chains"
Then He looked at me all sideways
"Let it rain"

So I doomed his soul to Hatred
Then I mouthed "I Love you so"
Started planning kids and children
Came too soon

Now I lay in this old hallway
Placed the corner to my head
Chanting "Ill just keep on breathing
Till I'm dead"

Till I'm dead.

He looks at me
with tired eyes
They glisten
looking slightly
                                 that way

His thoughts racing in,
slowly saying he Loves me
if he didn't he'd be vacant
so he tells me..

Our days go by
as our Spring turns to Summer,
Summer fading slightly to Fall
Then in Winter we're over
gently clinging together
preparing ourselves
for yet another
Blue Summer

His eyes, now wide
when he watches me cry
awaiting the moment its over,
then with a hug
he continues
his same old sleepy way
forgetting why he ever saw me
in the first place
So I beg for him to look
with those eyes that he had
when the Moon brought excitement
rather the
frightened and sad

My eyes are bloodshot now
I feel like Im dying
I want to even.
And so I keep crying

Time became story
And I fell victim
To the idea of freedom
And what that looks like.
Making up my own game
Then forgetting how to play
Writing my own lyrics
To a song
Never sung.
I forgot
The beat
To the drum
Then dances with it
All wild and crazy
On the beaches
Of a new moon
Lost and frigid
Yet warmed by the sands of yesterdays sun.

Is this what dreams are made of?
Hippy stardust
Among dusty faces
Of such sweet young travelers.
Forrest bathing
Naked
Unafraid
And societally dumb.
The way we were living is not
What we were made for.
So now what?
We turned to the ancient idea of what god is
And they call it “New age”
Spirituality
Unorganized
The way it all started
Before Babylon
And the beginning of corruption.

Time
Running in circles
In the decade of the young
I came to you empty handed
And you took everything from me!
And all I had was the stars in my eyes.

Forced
To live amongst the wicked
And become one of them even
All for cigarettes
And an ounce of food.
Saying
How did we get here?
And where do I go to next?

Replaying
My dads old lyrics
Over and over again
While hitching on the highway 1
One line ringing louder in particular;
“When your here your here”
And nothing to this day has ever been truer to me.

“Be here now” said Ram Das
So your a “traveler” yet you will never be two places at once.
look up to the great heavens of the sky
And the trees - there your home now.
But when you’re here you’re here.
And you will never ever be “there “ again.

Believing
Everything a mystic said to me
Forgetting what day it is
And saying good night to
O’Ryan
“Now this is really living “
I thought.
And it was
10 years later and I’m still humming to the same **** tune.

So this is what dreams are made of
And where stories are born.
You almost lost me to the open sky
And hum of the crooked highway
I almost fell down while running off the trails of the race
But realized no one would be there to catch me if I did. So I stood up and learned to walk again.

(Am I doing this right.)
Am I doing this right? Am I doing this wrong?
Now  that the masses have turned away from me?
But I found my people, once again, hidden behind the trees and past the rivers.
Comforting me
But with slightly different eyes than before..

(On an island)
On an island surrounded by water
I re-live the currents of TIME.
Oh sweet ocean, teach me how to love again!
I will repay you by pouring into you all of my hopes, dreams and comforts.
You can marry me with your water droplets
And I’ll bless each one with every year that passes by

We are mothers and sons
And daughters
And meadows
I am the stream that runs through the vains of our ancestors
I am  the polluted soil
Still giving life to the sprouting seed.