Time became story
And I fell victim
To the idea of freedom
And what that looks like.
Making up my own game
Then forgetting how to play
Writing my own lyrics
To a song
Never sung.
I forgot
The beat
To the drum
Then dances with it
All wild and crazy
On the beaches
Of a new moon
Lost and frigid
Yet warmed by the sands of yesterdays sun.

Is this what dreams are made of?
Hippy stardust
Among dusty faces
Of such sweet young travelers.
Forrest bathing
Naked
Unafraid
And societally dumb.
The way we were living is not
What we were made for.
So now what?
We turned to the ancient idea of what god is
And they call it “New age”
Spirituality
Unorganized
The way it all started
Before Babylon
And the beginning of corruption.

Time
Running in circles
In the decade of the young
I came to you empty handed
And you took everything from me!
And all I had was the stars in my eyes.

Forced
To live amongst the wicked
And become one of them even
All for cigarettes
And an ounce of food.
Saying
How did we get here?
And where do I go to next?

Replaying
My dads old lyrics
Over and over again
While hitching on the highway 1
One line ringing louder in particular;
“When your here your here”
And nothing to this day has ever been truer to me.

“Be here now” said Ram Das
So your a “traveler” yet you will never be two places at once.
look up to the great heavens of the sky
And the trees - there your home now.
But when you’re here you’re here.
And you will never ever be “there “ again.

Believing
Everything a mystic said to me
Forgetting what day it is
And saying good night to
O’Ryan
“Now this is really living “
I thought.
And it was
10 years later and I’m still humming to the same **** tune.

So this is what dreams are made of
And where stories are born.
You almost lost me to the open sky
And hum of the crooked highway
I almost fell down while running off the trails of the race
But realized no one would be there to catch me if I did. So I stood up and learned to walk again.

(Am I doing this right.)
Am I doing this right? Am I doing this wrong?
Now  that the masses have turned away from me?
But I found my people, once again, hidden behind the trees and past the rivers.
Comforting me
But with slightly different eyes than before..

(On an island)
On an island surrounded by water
I re-live the currents of TIME.
Oh sweet ocean, teach me how to love again!
I will repay you by pouring into you all of my hopes, dreams and comforts.
You can marry me with your water droplets
And I’ll bless each one with every year that passes by

We are mothers and sons
And daughters
And meadows
I am the stream that runs through the vains of our ancestors
I am  the polluted soil
Still giving life to the sprouting seed.

Tell me.
What to you do when your in Love?
So in Love.
Like your eyes finally matched up with that other person you expected to be with-
that person you thought you would always meet?
He's a gentleman,
and I could not agree more with the way that he smiles.
He's perfection. He is life-
my new reason for eating and breathing.
I'm in Love!
So in Love.
I dream in Love and wake in Love.
He's with me in the mountains
and in the starts.
And when I gaze up
there you are!
In my minds eye
he's just there
staring
right down
back at me.
He's the trees
and in the snow
all my hopes
he's all I know.

Though my Lover doesn't Love me.
Oh my Love
I'll let him go.

He said
Cold is just a feeling
Though I swore it wasn't so
So I closed my heart to moments
"Let it grow"

Then he said,
"Don't do it my way
or I'll put your mind in chains"
Then He looked at me all sideways
"Let it rain"

So I doomed his soul to Hatred
Then I mouthed "I Love you so"
Started planning kids and children
Came too soon

Now I lay in this old hallway
Placed the corner to my head
Chanting "Ill just keep on breathing
Till I'm dead"

Till I'm dead.

Loneliness strikes me
hard
in beauty
atop a
Montana Mountain.
The sun gold mirror cast
from our sun now deflected
saddens me
even in all its
core massaging comfort.
It reminds me that I am me-
and these spiraling clouds
they remind me that
there is even calm in motion.
I have no reason to not feel big-
I have no reason to not feel small
or present
I am here!
I am beautiful
and I am
alone.
Alone as the mountains,
the bush-rock
and sky.
And as these clouds keep dispersing from ground to high
I pass through it
it solidarity.

The city runs and sleeps
below me
and I sit here in motion.
Right now this loneliness
in fact feels like happiness.
I believe this with all my heart
though I wish it wasn't true.

You kept my eyes ******
And nose clean.
Knees deep in between rebellion
And the next best thing...

Telling you I love you
Just like I always had.
Playing life with jealousy
And singing of my Dad.

I **** the silence with music.
As you sink into my empty apartment.
My soul may as well go now
**** it slowly  
Then resurrect it.

Glassy eyes still look glassy
I see them through window tint
Pain and all
He took my hands again
Behind doorstep, this time
He told me I would be safe here
In his arms
These scale-fish shingles and
Curtain shields
And I believed him
Yes I did
As I play behind the picket fence...

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

Loving the weeds for being free
Thinking they look a little like me
Steeping them in my morning tea
Dreaming of Life, the greater things
Then kissing him on his wounded cheek
Grabbing his hands, down on my knees

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

And leading him
One day
Outside our Loving gate
Over street-walks, and light corners
And past the cage lures  
Showing him a life
Without sidewalks and doors    
 - - - - - - - - - - - - - -         
     - - - -  - - -  A
- - - - - - spiral - -
in the - - -   .
- - -    picket - - - -
     - - -  fence - - -  - - - -
   - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
He swore
That if
I lived his life
Then he would let me show him mine.  

And I believe him now
I believe him this time

I remember sittin' in the bathroom
feelin so high
pretendin' like the ceiling was the sky

but then I fell down

[oh so real]

played the part
made a deal
and that day the clouds met my heels

[been so fly]

I kept pretendin' that the high cured my pain

[fall some day]

rose back up
waited for tomorrows setting moon

[came too soon]

sittin' here
in this room
drinkin' beer
on the ***
loosing tears
I keeped forgettin' hennessy
was my name

[fall some day]

played the game
lied and sang
chill and hang
we'll never talk about it anyway

The world around me turns

My crooked spirals

Caving in to the delusions  
Of whats not there
then rising in moment
moments

The eye of my soul
he rotates
keeping perfect placement
within reflection of all directions
relaying multi dimensional thoughts
into my life
And nurturing the all knowing within me.

I fall in Circles.

.      
.      .      .
     .            .
        .      .
          .
­             .
          .       
      .
 .
My life
is like
a rolling
spiral
downward
and
downward
it falls
touching ground for brief moments
only to lore back
up again
into nights telling sky
always perfect
and knowing.
Though uncertainty still lurks
I let Universe sink over me-
stars shining so bright
they show my way
back home.
Upward and downward
I move
feeling comfort
in
       falling.
                    .      
                     .      .      .
                         .            .
         ­              .    .      .
                       .
                       .
                        .          
                         .

My stomach turns
as I look at you with sad eyes.
The stair seems playful
and haunting -- but only for a brief moment.
Your look clears my mind
after repeats in processes.
I feel all of you again
and most importantly
I feel me.

You give me space
You give me affection
it is freedom in translation.

You lay me down
then lift me up
so I can walk away
no stomach turning
I am filled with happiness
Alone in happiness
together in Love.

your call meant everything to me
but it never happened
you never called me
you weren't there
so I stayed up in long intervals of the night
worrying of you
and your response to me
I cried sometimes
well aware of heartbreak
and soon to come
messages
of let downs
all over
and now thinking of you feels hard
and overbearing
but I do it anyway
for I see something
in your eyes
I feel something
in your breath
you are special to me
despite of everything
I want you

"I rode my Bicycle straight up to California!

My shoes shot straight through my feet!

The pedals brought closer!

To Heaven above!

Then I got here.

One dish later.

This is living.

Ill do better. "

The energy of the Day
did not reflect that of the Night.

Come day we stay broading
and burning.
Our arms
and skinny legs
come clashing
tattered homes.
When smokers
and gaggers
came down from the Sun
the morning
will find them
hours later..

Come night
we close open
and creepy.
The stars keep of daytime
that was.
We share of our stories
and we sit
without moving,

we keepers
of not
what there was.

Some days
Ill put
My feet
In sand
And remember
Life is
Beautiful
The Sun
Will shine
Into ringing
Ears
And remind me
Of all
That's forgotten
Not a soul
Will judge me
Immersed in sand
My reason
There
Is final
My heart
On land
The Ocean
Grand
The Lust
for Life
is Vital

I am scared once again.
My life is my focus.
We are all in our heads
so im nervous
my thoughts..

They keep running
I'm turning
I will find someone there!
Though no one ever is -
no on ever cares.
Were all alone in this game
as our pinwheel keeps turning
the spiral of our lives
elongating then
returning
to that same little place
to our circles beginning

We are all made of dots
so im nervous.
My thoughts.

He looks at me
with tired eyes
They glisten
looking slightly
                                 that way

His thoughts racing in,
slowly saying he Loves me
if he didn't he'd be vacant
so he tells me..

Our days go by
as our Spring turns to Summer,
Summer fading slightly to Fall
Then in Winter we're over
gently clinging together
preparing ourselves
for yet another
Blue Summer

His eyes, now wide
when he watches me cry
awaiting the moment its over,
then with a hug
he continues
his same old sleepy way
forgetting why he ever saw me
in the first place
So I beg for him to look
with those eyes that he had
when the Moon brought excitement
rather the
frightened and sad

My eyes are bloodshot now
I feel like Im dying
I want to even.
And so I keep crying

It is a stair
so strong,
so short
yet everlasting.

His eyes not wide
feels not like  sadness
nor like guilt

I feel his longing
his pursuing  
like a bee who sees a flower

buzzing briefly
till he meets her
colors bleeding
sweet nectar.

Hazel eyes
I said I Love you
in my head
without you looking.

He mouthed it briefly
while he kissed me
tongue  and breathing

"I feel it too."

My eyes are wet
and lips wide open
hair angled slightly
that way.
These times of moving
have come to still
in pictures
we feel
we're living.

Now in looking we are sure to fail
the colors
came out
sideways.
The Moons not there
my colorless hair
unhappy
with just being.

Keep walking
up your mountain.
Hike long
you hike hard.
Stop to relax
with good wine and smoke.
Speak with shamans
about water
and believe them.

Always believe them.

Then when river flows
you be it.
Find your rhythm as you go .
pour yourself through soil
and melt your icy snow.
Find your peak
don't leave it.
Reflect on why your their.
Stay atop your mountain

where you can watch most

of the setting sun.

I lay deep
Inside the Cenote
Eyes streatched out
Over earths cluttered sky
It was a collision of Life up there!
All arround me
And below me
My body now still
I let the bugs pass by
The fish swim calm
Through the water clear green
Arms streatched out
I move body through water
It swims and swirls arround me
And I float on!

I float away!
Watching sky turn into cave
My image of lightness
Pulls away!
I hold my breath and keep moving
I am sinking
I am rising
[my mind pictures deth and what it means to be free]

Splashing back towards the light
I thank Day I am Living
Watch the animals through trees
Hear this great Jungle Beat
Feel the fish swim arround
Look up
Look down
Keep breathing

The rocks!
They will protect me.
They have shown me their mossy skin!
And brought me warmth rooted within their
stony souls.

They love me too.

I look to the left
and remember the Mountain glowing light yellow aside a purple land.
It was the Father speaking to me.
He told me quietly to pay attention.
He is more strict than my mountain
perking up sharp
slicing the sky of blue.
And the cars continue to move,
Ignoring the Sun
however awed without knowing.
The birds can feel the discomfort-
though they harmonize with it anyway.

I pretend there are no people
just me
making them as ghosts
and earth Angles
I am ghostly to them too.

-Sweet cold chills-

*I am not wanted here anymore.
I leave the whole scene
slicing air
that I came through.

I see the fire
and it is Red
red like its suppose to be.
I see my Girl
and she is Happy
happy like she is supposed to be.
I see the stars
and they are Loud
loud like they are suppose to be.
I see the Moon an he is Calm
calm like he is supposed to be.
And the Sun has not yet risen
but it will

Today I saw Life
in nature.
I sat beside it
and became all that was.
It was starry and vivid
light filled
and One.
I stood strong toward its beauty
I stood straight
toward the SUN!
My hands way the shadows
my feet
felt the sky
I said total softly

"we go here when we die"

Shoulders rested on neck shields
stomachs turned right
we lie
changing channels
like Oceans
sink it in
lets get high.

It's a funny thing
when the song you know
to love
gets bleached
onto your sunny day
and all days since
become part
of that sunny tune.

It may be meaningless whilst your mindful listen
then days
and days align
and that song becomes you!

And you talk about that day
as if experienced
in person.
You talk about that day
as if to reminisce
about a moment
you expected to reminisce about.

But just like many others
that day came
and past.
Like others.
And all you have to speak of is that one song.
Like it really meant something
to listen.

It will be recreated in my mind
time
and time
over.

The water that pours
from your greasy faucet
I have found Heaven through you!!
The God of water
that is not there
came for me this morning
after sleeping
at a
truckstop.
I bathed myself into glory!
I washed years go by from land
I saw forever in the distance
while walking back to my car.
These fields I have never seen
though I know I've been here before,
at least I've though about it..

Before I traveled the world
I sat
and I wondered about the bathroom sink.

Does it have meaning!
Drops of life,
next to a human waterfall?

I wondered for then
and then only.

My life,  now
having no abandoned thoughts.
Yes.
I live for the now
I sing songs in my shower
of earths water untouched
and blow distant light
as I run at the day
so shall we forever stay in our way?
Forevermore.
March away into my
nightless abiss.

And Sometimes the Sun s Bright

Later the Rain might wash it away

Like Earths rivers Melting into land

I watched my land melt.

Shouting Growling sort of way

"I am here!" She said

Tomorrow believed Today

Like a bird grazing in the wind

My temptations wont astray

Today I am not of the devil

Today I am Of

the Flowers and of The

Clouds, falling Rain

Because now I am IT

and it I will stay

Like a vision of Heaven

I Rest in Peace our Tomorrow

Today

Save life to Live later

Below the Setting Sun

Save our rain dance, another Day

It shouts YELLOW-BLUE

it Calms the Night

And so it shines purple into the Sky

Lighting our Breath, Leading our way.

The River moves
so we dont have to
oh longing to rush
and will
we stay statues
now still
with calm
for there is no anxious rushing
moving through us.
The visuals have become more
than just visuals
my dream is to fall in
just enough!
We wait patiently
for the cold
to touch upon us!

Oh River we stay still.
Oh River we stay still.

Bad endings
will always be
bad endings.
He cupped his hands in giving
though the liquid he bore
was not distributed evenly
though bless our hearts
we did try
with all our might
in fact.
So swaying with legs
and small faces
I watched him march
as if to say
"get lost!"
with no intention.
The women of fire
did much the same
though I did not see her
walk away.

Winter does not exist
if you choose to chase away from it.
Just never let the Sun hail to the moon!
And never let the Moon stale your focus!

There are rivers over there
that smell of sweet flowers.

I sang crystal eyelids to rest well into the forgiving hours of the night.

He held my hand in the morning still dead upon arrival.

I watched him pant and drool.

He smells bad.

I Love him.

He didn't have lines,
he had colors
shifting through
different variations of purple
blue

      blue

blue.
while singing to words he did not hear
than bragging
about it years later.

We did not wonder
about the colors
he bore
it was all sounds-
words of pretty and wonder.
They were nice
and Wild!
such a magical thing.
Though I am still waiting
to finally hear him sing
so he can finally show us
his colors, colors.

On rush

We found

The Violent Pear Kids

Playing Peppered Nonsense Games

Until Seeing Dots become Lines

We Swam the Tides of

Earths Crest mossy blue

Off like

Trees Escaping From Land

Only to return when Ready

Innocent as an acorn

Go Blue

And Red

Then do it all Again

We Leaves...

"The best part about living is dying,
without dying, there would be no reason to really live."

"I do not like the white house
the white house has no smells."

"People are like baby mountains
who don't realize how large they already are."

"Dreams are like stardust. You cant see them, but they will ALWAYS be there"

"YES! I will stop littering. Once YOU stop wrapping things in garbage!"

"Life is beautiful,
not because it is,
but because it cannot not be."

"Stop writing in straight lines."
  


-Me mostly, and things I've heard passing by

I sit here in Love.
I feel lonelier than ever.
I realize these fantasies
of running away,
really just means
running to him.
My two days alone
snaps me back
once again.
I am still my own person.
He is still his own Man.
A Man who will search the edges
of the Planet with me!
I will never fly alone now
with my other half.

Though I have my life to running.

I MANIFEST THE DESTINY OF MYSELF
and all others.
Shall karma wink Gold
on such souls.
Soon Silver may rise
and we'll all take it over.

Such wrinkles rest well
on the old.

I see people as if they are memories.
Before I meet them
after I meet them
yeah...

I find of Fall
like I find of you.
Slow moving
fast grooving
all of that..

Ill move to your music
and Ill sing five months later.
My life moves on
like you where later...

A picture of Seattle
Will forever linger inside my mind.
Its buildings and brights
its lights
will be ever showing
glowing on my map.
I would see him a few times over
after this very day
all its building
and sneering looks
its crooks.
But once more,
I will miss Seattle
like a withered friendship.
His haunting name'll keep calling
thought I will not be there to answer.

Closer to the sky we rise!
Touching it for brief moments.
Believing planes as Stars!
(its better that way)
Then falling back towards the shore
for we need feel waves
and droplet breezes.
We concord all that was land!
Then apologize as we rise again
(for the land is no ones)
And felt the air all over.
Our wheels show us life!
And our eyes help us believe it.
But we realize today
That there is little soul in wondering
Until you give your life to the land.
So we fed our bodies to shore
and trusted the waves not to eat it.
This will work every time,
just give trust to our mother.
Show hope in her
and her mossy skin will open up all the light
that you came in with.
Pouring out the body
Letting it rise to sky
(and all over)
Feeling like home everywhere
and singing with it years later.
Returning to Heaven
with every curve
with every sight
of your Night Sky Sea Breeze.
And so there lies the gift of travel..

We ran around the new moon.
We knew that life was beautiful.
Our beers
and energies divide
then collide
exceeding all that we came for.
Shared music
and poems
Shared Heavens-
Shifting, climbing through
taking showers
of water
untouched.
Basking sleepless
under the sun.
For our moonlight still shines!
then we waved it goodbye!
Sleeping shadows
and mirrors
of time now past.

Oh my Love!
I have found Heaven through you!!

For this, I will see you another day --

Thank you.

:)

keep moving

I
say
   let
     the
       WEEDS
      grow past
          my
      weary ends.
    I will forget them
  once again

but thats okay.

Is my mind still racing?
Or is my life the one running (while I)
slowly fall apart.
Why isn't anything simple?
Like a movie, or a show?
I wonder if anyone is a movie? (no)
They are all actors and actresses
living by simple pleasures (or)
opinions made by the convinced.
Where the self absorbed are confident,
they show no doubt.
I am scared
and insecure
my way of life is not sure
my options are too plenty.
I am trapped by my own Freedom! (and)
my power, my free-will!
We all need guidelines.
We need to look to our T.V (our screen)
and learn what needs to come next.
To our parent movie star look-a-likes.
And the actress inside all of us!
We will continue to believe in a
steady-stream-of-consciousness
and continue to feed our ego
as much as we please -
(or as much as we can).
I guess in the end
there is only ego
Its all in your head
how others perceive -
how I perceive
(there is no such thing.
I am alone in thought.)

What is Love
but a Mountain we build and climb?
Once overcame by struggles and hardships
we seek a great reward -
The feeling of relaxation and accomplishment
to see the world as a mountain does -
Steady and wise,
calm and free.
Or i could just sit and watch my
T.V.
and allow the instant pleasures
of the modern world
become my existence
as I run away from the struggle.
I should dedicate my life
to avoid the pain!
Or should I continue to strive towards companionship?
To share my life with other beings.
Feel their reactions.
Work in perfect harmony
with man - with Nature
with the connection that binds all things
to Love and feel
as strongly as the other.
I want to want, I strive to be
as I am - as I make of me.
Will you help me?
Join me in my everlasting fight?
Will you fight with me
and against me?
Will you be there for the end?
I want to reach peace with you.
At the top of our mountain.
We can go there you know?
Its our struggle,
Its our reward.

The challenge is in the People.
We The People.
As we live behind our masks
the governments iron shades.
Our lives become re-connected
as we join together in loneliness
and greed.
What happened to us?
to the whole of a people.
To Love?
To the sound of laughter
and raw happiness.
Is it so hard to come by?
Am I not alone?
I will thieve the reality of our nation
and I will steal the complexities of our things
of our attachments, morals and
accomplishments!
I will re-construct the entirety of a Nation.
Success is in the People
not our things.
We'll buy an SUV
and wast away in the fake reality
which we all know so **** well.
What is real is in the mind
let it be your soul!
Know what you want!
don't listen to 'them'.