My eyes shoot into her like daggers

Her hair rests just upon her shoulders
too short for anybody to love her

Her eyes too small to see the world
But big enough to see the worst

A nose with a ridge so high
not even the best mountaineer could climb

Her scars remind her of the bombs once there
And  blemishes on her face mark the ones not yet gone

Chin so big they think of her as a warrior
but they think of her as a warrior

Shoulders broad to carry a heavy load
of unjust love

Fat that is too much to squeeze
But not enough that anyone will hold on

Arms impeccably short
but no matter, everyone still keeps their distance

She's crumbled to the ground
Given into my wrath
I put away my weapons
Get up
And walk away from the mirror

A year ago today
I thought I could **** myself in any way
But I took a razor to my arm
Thinking that would cause less harm
I dug the blade in so deep
for every time that I was cheap
For everything I didn't say
whether it be no or yes
the times that I was drunkenly laid
For all the people who called me quiet
or my stomach growling
you'll never go through with this diet
Just **** yourself you stupid *****
because that is all you'll ever be good for
but
I've come a long way since then
I now know I don't need to be super thin
Or do anything to please those  men
I learned to love my squinty brown eyes
And the fact that there's no gap between my thighs
I've learned that I can go and when to say no
That nothing is tying me down I no longer want to drown
In a pool of my own pity
It's weird to say and hard to do
but you can too
Dig and fight your way out of rock bottom
It'll be ***** and rough
and you'll fall back in
But dig your claws in and fight even hard
Because life is worth it
and I didn't know it then
but I'm glad I figured out
before I created my own end

lyin on the floor
nothing left
to give anymore

your lips fall
and your eyes
they can't hold all the pain

and a time comes
when all of your lies
fiind you
and you give up the fight

but tonight
you feel like
you've been broken for the first time
again
and all that you've worked to hold in
comes crashing down in waves
And tonight
all of these roads that you've paved
start crumbling out of site
And tonight
It isn't the first time

and the stars flicker
over your head
and you think about
all the times that you've bled

And when tomorrow
finds you
you'll be
drownin in your thoughts like before

but tonight
you feel like
you've been broken for the first time
again
and all that you've worked to hold in
comes crashing down in waves
And tonight
all of these roads that you've paved
start crumbling out of site
And tonight
It isn't the first time

take me back to that night
when time was moving at the speed of light
when i was in a room
full of empty people
and empty glasses

where the music played so loud
i was happy , so happy to drown
into my mind

because the freckes of the night
they shine bright for all
but when the sun comes up they just wait for us to fall
back into the darkness of the light
but if you've gone down before the sun comes up
then shouldn't the night be just enough?

so take me back to that day
when you were moving
and you told me to stay
and i let the tears roll down my face
so i sat down and i thought
with a bottle in my hand
i guess i get to choose if i sit down or stand

so i sat and i sat
smoked another cigarette
and thought oh what a wreck i have made
out of nothing at all

because the freckes of the night
they shine bright for all
but when the sun comes up they just wait for us to fall
back into the darkness of the light
but if you've gone down before the sun comes up
then shouldn't the night be just enough?

so take me back to that night
when our spirits were in full flight
but not cause we found out the key
to be happy
but because we were told that's how it's supposed to be
in the darkness of night
under the stars shining so bright
we are supposed to be happy, oh so grand
not sobbing and screaming with pain in our hands

because the freckes of the night
they shine bright for all
but when the sun comes up they just wait for us to fall
back into the darkness of the light
but if you've gone down before the sun comes up
then shouldn't the night be just enough?