It is hard to say
What I like about you
When it is nothing, not even you
Not your hair
Not your face
Not your smile
Not the way you taste

Everything has been a waste
All this time
All this grime

I'm feeling pretty tired
Of all that has transpired

If even for a second
Your next words of choice
Were without a voice
I'd rejoice

That girl with the burn
Had the prettiest face under the sun
I would never have guessed
That she had such a disfigurement
Permanently on her arm

Her eyes were brilliant
Like dragonflies
Flying about in the sky

Wings of color
Fluttering in those eyes
I tell ya

Who would have known
That even I
Have had some work done

Cosmetically,
I have been altered
By some pretty ingenious doctors

My eyes and my smile
Are a result of new science
That was
Well constructed and performed
By those
Who have earned
The green paper
We like to burn.

There are some things that you say
That I would never say
There are some things that you pray
That I would never pray
Maybe one of these days
You will realize we are not the same
And then there will be no one to blame
When we go insane

Scabs of flesh
Laying on the bed
A rippling effect
Of blood
Pouring out of his head

Anymore loss
And he could end up dead

Screams of horror
From the child next door
In the chilling nightmare
That will haunt her
For many nights more
May the images leave her
Before she believes
That all life is made of gore
And she ends up a ***** *****

In the forthcoming years
She will grow to understand
It was just poor luck
That she happened upon
This ***** muck

I had a dream about you
Much like reality
We were in a room together
But we couldn't speak
People kept walking in
Interrupting us both
Frustration building up
I thought I would explode
But just briefly you looked up and smiled
And my angry thoughts went out the window

Words were meant to be spoken
Words were meant to be written
But I ain't got an indication
Of the words you want to hear me spittin'

All day I just want to lay
Here lonely,
With sad songs playing
Tears making the journey
To the ground
My stomach tight
No food in sight

Hurting is odd
Unlike me
All that I'm saying
Seems useless

There are no good excuses
This pain is ruthless

My caged heart
Makes no sound
But oh I can hear it move around
The constant treasures
Of your words
Make it thump like I've never heard

Hinting at your hopes
Hinting at your dreams
You haven't spoken a word with your mouth
I cannot grasp the quality that I see
And yet, it's not over for me
I walk around next to the endless sea
With my heart beating
Lonely behind bars

My bones
Are brittle
Twisting
And crunching
Cartilage broken down
From years of age
Wear and tear
Causing them pain
Stretching and bending
Loss of balance
Sitting on a metal frame
Being pushed by winds and rain

I didn't know I was hurting you
I didn't know you cared
I guess because I'm bare
That makes me less aware

The walls are back
Locked up and barred
Thick metal shields surround me

Glass shatters
As it hits the floor
Dad picks up the pieces
Of Mother's favorite glass
As their young daughter weeps
In the doorway
"You know, hon? It's okay."
His daughter looks up and nods

A few years pass, the daughter
Is sauntering out the door
Anger reverberating from her membrane
"Crash!!!" broken glass is heard
From inside of the house
Dad comes out, clearly enraged
The daughter feels herself boiling over, but frozen at the sound
She finds herself explaining what just occurred
Back window of the vehicle, destroyed
Long ride to school, not a sound in the car, but the air swishing through the back door

The difference in appearance
Young child, adult's patience
Young adult, adult's lack of compassion

Uprooting the girl year after year
Cries of despair floating through the house
Quieting when she fears someone is near
Alone in a home where each room is filled
Lashing out at friends who stay in contact
Folding to parent's demands
And holding regrets years later...
This girl is shattered

Computer screen flashing
Humming of the fan
Rapidly getting louder
Absorption of humanity
Click, type, update

No secrecy
Laid out thoughts
Public setting on
Privacy, none

Books and pages
Unheard of
No wifi
No hook up!
No way to communicate,
Terror!
Panic!
Boredom...

Disinfecting myself from the rays
These blotches I feel
Squeezing the liquid
Straining my arm
Lubing up the branches
Covering proximal to distal

Not quite transverse
Ten minutes
Dispense and rinse

Evil flowing down the drain
Plundering materials of blood lust
Soft spoken memoirs
Papers shredded
Covering the ground

Pictures explaining what words cannot
Hole in the corner
Blocking a figure from view

This figure portrayed in the very nightmares
I awake from with hasty revolts of sadness and angst
The very presence unnerving

Locked up in a bubble
Of pain
For days
Fading for minutes
Then rushing back as if
The plague has hit the brain

One day a cure
Next day loss of hope
Lack of want for medication
Pills lack the healing effects
That nature instills in me

Smoke rings
Round and round
My head

Spider bite I fear
No feeling
Loss of movement
In my leg

Pain in my brain
Pounds more and more
As does the subwoofer
Turned on high, full bass

The crawling creature
With numerous legs
Is gone
Dead, smashed out of
Existence

Just as I am
In my lonely grave
Of pain

Tear drops on a ***** face
Mascara flowing down her cheek
Legs have gone weak

The element of surprise
is quite meek

Fishing for useless junk
Is the insecurity
To be oneself
True and true
The deeper meaning is
Hard to find
Hiding under that rock
30 feet down
Below the briskly blowing breeze
The swish and sway
Of the current of the Atlantic
In the light of the sunrise

Waves crashing
At the pier
Sharks circling their feast
It's all in a hard days work
Just breathe.

Give me your etchy sketch
I'll shake it all about
So your future is dim
Plain and pure

Promises should be held with high regard
No resistance at all
Passive stretching assists

In the clouds
The art is written
Like a molded craft
Sitting desolate by the fountain
And the trees

I'm hope bound
******* in transition
Raising arms up with
Slippery doubt
Gripping the wheel
There must be control

Losing it
Will break all molds
The hours of ease
And testy talent
Will be all for naught

I've got a knot in my satchel
It is becoming frayed and torn
There are no needles and thread to sew it back up.
What's next?
Where can we go from here?
If it is a disguise you seek
I've got the right cover
My friends are skilled and
Leave no traces behind
Just lost souls in the abyss

There is not much that I miss
Besides your deep kiss
I need less than nothing from
Your being

The meaning of these words
Are lost on those who believe in
Sanity
And only vague to the insane.

I want to breathe easy
Lean on you
Be carefree and young

It was definitely exciting
And fun

Never a dull moment
No one could stop us

We ran freely around the trees
Stomped our feet
At defeat

We couldn't be stopped
Our love was ongoing

My weakness showed
And the plunge was unending

Recollecting the past
Can cause brief and subtle emotions
It can cause hardships to arise
There are also victories and surprise

Recollecting the past
Brings you back to present
Helps you respect what you have
And gives hope for what's left to explore