I need more depth,
I need more ******* depth
Please be deep
Like the ******* sea
Let me breathe in your ideas
Let me lick your past from your lips 

The good with the bad
I’m starting to forget what I had
Am I meant to know 
A list of all the reasons
That I love you so?


I lack that knowledge 
I am unsure of my tone


I can't get a grip
My emotions flee
Quite frankly
My glee,
Has gone missing...

Cause you said
You said
That I would be dead
Once you leave 
That I would be heartbroken 
But you did not
Did not
Get it right 

I'm more alive 
Free from the constant 
Droning of your voice 
Speaking sarcastic tones 

Those miserable woes 
That I felt rising inside of me
Clawing at my throat to speak
I am free
They are no more 
You cannot control me

maybe love isn't enough 
this feeling 
this feeling of distrust
detachment 
and lust

I give,
         I give 
I've given 
          I gave

Withering here now,
I am innocent babe

this love ain't enough

Today's a day
Much like jumping off a ledge
Without a bungee cord tied 
In a boy scout's knot
Falling free
Ready to hit the ground
Pit of rocks
Breaking your fall
At the end

Did you forget
I held your keepsake 
I held it as you walked away
Held it quietly 
Keeping it safe
For the day you come back to me

In some dark part of me,
I believe it true
That you really loved me
And did not treat me wickedly 

That you didn't leave scars 
For everyone to see

That the night,
You lit my face on fire
Was all a lie
A terrible dream
That could never happen to me 

Oh, did you forget?
Your cruelty 
The pain 
The torment that your screaming
Put me through

Your plague in my life 
Was not a mishap

An unfortunate mistake 
I've made,
Seeing you that way
Letting you see...
All my cracks 
And decay

Speaking much too soon
About your delay

All you ever wanted
All you ever spoke of,
Was love...

My blindness to that
Caused an earthquake 
A rupture in what 
Could have 
Been a fine design 

I choose wine these days
To set off the negative rhythm 
Going on in my mind
The negative thoughts 
Of what I have missed...

The what ifs have me caught up 
Torn,
Ripped apart 
Scattered in...
What could be a representative of  fine art
To be displayed in museums today

I do a lot of thinking
A lot of feeling
A lot of living for others
But what…
Have I done for myself?
Consideration for others is one thing
Consideration for oneself is another