My body takes me places I do not know
Skin swims under your drumming veins
and twists around gripped clothing
My arms wrap around foreign limbs
Mind confusing them as familiar

Blonde tresses pulled and tangled
by numb fingers
Nose bitten by hollow teeth
lips ****** up of all their color
the red shoved in your bottomless pocket

Nape nestled and licked up
My head now rests on my shoulders
Those shoulders carved, pits of letters revealing your name
Poked collar bones distorted under your weight
Flattened under hungry bones

My body takes me places I do not know
Rib cage cracked by demanding palms
Heart removed, and poured into your thirsty inlet
******* swim into your hook, you feed off of them for days.
Eyes lost at sea

Ankles and feet shoved down to the foot of your bed
Boredom hits, and they are stuffed below
My knees sit between tongue and cheek
And that voice I had, caught in your canal
Inflection hanging in the orbit of your planet

My calves wander and brushed up
Painted against your gnarled spine
Thighs travel around your tortured torso
Asking for directions from navel
Lead stray

My body takes me places I do not know
Mind finally arrives
Body's tour ignored.

I seem to only want to write in
the middle of the month
It's safer hugged between
the beginning and the
end.
Would January
please help release me
from December's arms?

A need that twists
cabled and gripping
To be needed.
A war between
"I shouldn'ts" and "but I have tos"
Where am I in all of this?
The identity of a woman
with ten thousand strong hearts
and breaths
All of it deflated by another
Who appears to need oxygen MORE

Need need need

Kneed Kneed Kneed

until I'm contorted into a
better reflection of yourself.
Unrecognizable am I
I look like the surface of correspondence
Here I am!
Always.
I am
The soul mate
to your dreams and
descriptors and
hurt and
tears and
all that you've ever wanted to change in your life.  
And you'll swear on all that you stand for
that we are closer than anyone you've ever known
But if you were to recite one fact about me
The room would be quiet and empty.


A need to be needed.

"You can't be in two places at once."

My palms are faced towards India
The space needle owns my eyes
My rib cage is Italy
My heart, belonging to Paris
My knees wobbled and weak in the direction of the Cayman Islands
The sting rays rubbed up soft among my calves
The breath caught in my lungs the second
I head east
Where you own my oxygen
in Spokane
My toes are pointed towards Portland
where mystery, wept tears,
and the abandonment of my father
resides.
New York city holds
the inferior restlessness within me
and this tiny little room
is where "I am."

If I could gift a mantra
to humanity
it would be

"I am worthy"

Oh to flee
to spider jump from one skyscraper to
the next
Holding the reflections
of the city panes
in my pocket
Electric energy a blanket
to my bones
Oh to flee
to dart through redwood
forests
until feet become fir
legs become outstretched
oak limbs
and arms become ascending jays
drifting higher and higher into a "v"
of vulnerability
Oh to flee
to swim through the heavy Atlantic
diving deeper into the open
and rest softly among the algae floor
to feel the schools of fish swift
weaving from my mane
braiding the space between my fingers
Oh to feel alive
Sweet sweet escape
I can taste your salt on my lips
I can feel your softness in the swing of my gate
I can almost hold your beauty in my hands
If I could only own you
and make you mine

I'm in a state of constant rebellion
I boycott your love
and protest the war
That rests within my
guarded core
I'm in utter revolt
I thought I was enraged at the world
And the oppression it has cast on me
A silly blonde girl
such as I
I'm only at odds
with the self.
I've been advocating
Justice
Rooted in feminism
Responding only in fight and flight and freeze
and fury
Anything that
will help me
boldly wear
my riot gear.
I'm in incessant mutiny
and scrutiny
and, oh, just to be
defenseless.
I would give anything
to turn soft
for
you.