like a baby snail, scared
I've closed myself in my shell
all day, all night
no dawn, no twilight
I am waiting.
the humble skeleton, my desire is laughing.
noon.
hunger overcomes it,
but the taste of the damp earth,
the salty-sour-sweet spices
are no excitement anymore.
so here we are
on the Collines de Normandie
my pain that cracks open my shell
your absence that feeds my pain
so what we are
in the dying yellow grass
a teardrop and an eye
the blood and the knife
you are flowing away
and I drown in you

drop.
the morphine finally reaches her weak body through the long tube
drop.
the morphine enters the vein and sets off for a journey in her aching body
drop.
the morphine spreads and rushes with her pale blood to the remotest parts
drop.

from the tips of her toes, the relief wipes her body and her soul
she drops my hand and she closes her eyes
she doesn't need me, she doesn't need her heart
her brain is just an *****, hiding there in the skull

what she needs now is her spirit, that is percolating through the white plastic hospital-matress
it is flowing away as a river, escaping from the pain
she turns inside-out, she sinks in herself
in colours, in pleasures, in eternity, in unexplored daffodil-fields, in heavens and hells

the dripping stops, I can see it
the morphine has evaporated, she can feel it
her spirit crawls back into her damaged body
connects the brain to the heart, gets the system ready

back to reality with open eyelids
welcome back again pain, at least you were killed for a while
but the core of the disease is still in her belly
she needs more morphine, more dreams, more of eternity

drop.

I am crying, because I can't find my place in this world.
I am crying, because nobody can find their place in this world.

I am crying, because that twenty-year- old girl is condemned to death, because cancer is unstoppably spreading in her body. I am crying, because not only her body and her face will disappear from Earth, but her spirit as well, as it will have no home here anymore.
I am crying, because that paralysed truck driver will never be able to drive anymore, and he will never be able to have a son. I am crying, because this has always been his biggest wish, but it will never come true.
I am crying, because I am unable to help them.

I am crying, because time flies too fast, because what is born will die too, because  those who stay miss so much those who leave. I am crying, because there will always be something that casts a shadow on our happiness. I am crying, because we are all unsatisfied, but we know we shouldn't be, for we could be more.

I am crying, because fading in the blur shouldn't be the aim of life. I am crying, because I am scared of the future, because I don't know what eternity is like. I am crying because I am so alone.

I am crying, because something aches so much.

Sixty more days until being entirely yours again.
Sixty more nights without you.
Sixty more sighs in the morning rain.
Sixty more seconds and the minute is through.

Midnight.

Only fifty-nine more days to go.

I wanted to take you to Neverland...
But that's not a country to where you buy your tickets, pack your pants and toothbrush and go.
I tried to lead you there - I left signs for you...
But you never noticed them.
You were not sensitive enough to feel the signs - you wanted to see them.
I tried to teach you how to see with your heart, but I couldn't.
So you bought a ticket to go home.
And I went to Neverland alone.

Such a beautiful night.
Such a beautiful moon.
Such a beautiful life.
- And there's no-one to share it with.

All these dead roses
And the wings of angels
Papers of chocolate
Torn out pages
Lonely Saturday afternoons
Hands in the pockets
Love poems and tunes
That's what you've left

Leave me then.
But I will keep her.

We have both created her,
You and me
We have both given our blood,
You and me
She is made of
You and me

And I could never **** any part of you
As I have always loved you
And I will always love you
And you will always love me

- the part of you in her.

Elkésett angyalokkal számolom és aztán csigavonalba rendezem
a homokóránk pergő gránátalmamagjait
Az egész olyan, mintha egyszer már megtörtént volna
Csak már nem emlékszem, hogyan kezdődik

Megfordíthatnám újra a homokórát
És ihatnám tovább a tekilát
Az angyalokkal, akik már túl részegek
De én hányok helyettük
Ők élvezik, én meg félek

I will look for you.
And I will cry the rain that fills the rivers that wash away your footprints in the black and rich soil of our home that feeds us and has borne us onto the same ground where we first met and where I will never find you again.

You can't see me now
My face has faded
In the steam of the bathwater
In which we last sat

I can't see you now
Your body has disappeared
Behind the words of the poem
That we last sang

All we have are images
Vibrating in our minds
They shake our bodies cruelly
Shaking tears out of our eyes

And I miss you

Can they see us now?
As  we have melted
In tears and lust and pain
That we have carried

Can they see it now?
How love has caught us
With passion and war and triumph
That we never buried

And I miss you

When can a rose be in bloom
If nobody waters her soon
I'll die if you don't come back
Lose my petals and lose myself
Just be the sun above me
The bee that flies around me
Because I'll die if you don't come back
You're my reason and my only -

I miss you

Every morning
I see her get up
She turns on the light
And opens her heart

Remains of her dreams
Dance or her forehead
The sun comes up smiling
When she's combing her hair

I love those gentle moves
As she puts on her make-up
A flower in blossom
In small marble footsteps

She is my angel
My conscience, my wall
The velvet voice inside me
My guard and my soul

I see her wings
As she steps out the door...
But now she is leaving
Without me, alone -

maybe I'm not ready yet for you
we need patience until our dreams come true
I know that I'm the one who needs more time
I beg you to wait and I promise that I'll make you mine

you're so perfect that I don't dare to touch you
you're so innocent that I feel guilty every time I see you
my reason is fighting a battle with your passion
but one day you'll be my eternal obsession

Slowly slip into me. Stay.

Feel my heart beating and pumping blood and life everywhere.
It is your heart now too.

Feel my skin heating and protecting life in me.
It is your skin now too.

Feel my hair tickling and hiding the sparkles of life in the eyes.
It is your hair now too.

Feel my ***** moving and ******* life through the nose.
It is your ***** now too.

Feel my life shining.
It is your life now too.

Stay.

I could die now.
Why?
Because I would die happy.
But I would be sad. I would cry.
Would you?
Yes.
Would you like to die with me?
Not now. I want to spend more time with you.
We could be angels. I am not afraid of death, you know. I believe in Heaven.
So do I. There must be a great party up there.
And how about Hell?
Hell?
Yes. I don't believe in Hell.
You don't?
Well, maybe Hell exists somewhere, but it is empty. Everybody goes to Heaven. Everybody is good.
I love how you love the people.
People are amazing. Of course I love them. And I truly love you.
I love you too.
Come, kiss me.
*I'll kiss you.

I just want to sleep on your chest tonight, and sing ancient Hungarian lullabies for you as you slowly close your eyes and disappear behind the curtain of your eyelids, closing yourself into your own world of dreams
- where I can't go with you.
But I promise that I will stay here with your body,
I promise that I will take care of your body,
and I will wait until you come back to me.

You said we were a rose
You said in us there was more
You talked about our pure hearts
You said I was the one you loved

Then you told me how roses die
They freeze in the snow and ice
Even if they bloom in the summer
The End is inevitable

Do hearts crack in the ice too?
And die just like the roses do?
Will this love be as short as a kiss?

If I open my eyes, will I see
That the cold has killed you and me?
You have never told me this.

So all of this is only a short bliss.

You're ******* on oysters
I guess I've been opening them for you for a long while now
But you're getting greedier and greedier
You're not waiting for my cold white hands
To crack open the oyster shells

So you leave me there
With aching and bleeding hands
And you crawl deeper and deeper into the ocean
Until you disappear from my eyes
And it's not you who's eating the oysters

It's the ocean that ferociously swallows you

I'm no creep. I'm no *****. I'm no ****.
You make me believe in something I don't want.
I'm hiding my face, although you're blind.
Why do we **** it up every single time?
People just pass through me and leave for ever.
You just pass through people and leave for ever.
You're no better than I am, but no worse either.

So in love.
So confused.
So uncertain.
So abused.
So fragile.
So angry.
So colourless.
So crazy.
So helpless.
So un-free.
So passionate.
So happy.

I planted all the seeds of all your pomegranates,
I watered them with my tears,
My love was the sunshine on them.

They grew above me, they reached the clouds,
They grew higher, then reached the stars,
They grew for you, they grew fruit for you.

Now come, harvest our trees.

I want to promise you that I'll cover you with petals and take you to the garden of pomegranates and give you honey and keep you warm with my love forever.
But I cannot promise that.
All I can promise is that I will try.

I wanted you to save me.
But you were not strong enough to lift me up and fly with me.

And what if nobody will be?
Maybe I am too heavy - I have too many dreams.
Dreams are heavy.
I wanted to share them with you, so that we could carry them together, but you closed your heart.
We could be above the clouds, flying up to the Sun now - you could have made me lighter and I could have made you happy.

At least we wanted to be one...
Will anybody else want to be one with me ever?
Will anybody be able to lift me up?
Will anybody open the gates of his heart to let my dreams fill it with rubies, pomegranates and roses?

I am not complete on my own.
Something is missing.
Someone is missing.
And that aches.

Find me.
You were made for me, and maybe I was made for you.
You just have to believe in it.
I do.
So find me.

I wish I could give you more than my voice each day.
I wish I could give you roses when you have only thorns, honey when you have only black tea, pomegranates when your garden is empty.
I wish I could give you myself.
All my love, my glances, my blood.
All that I control here on Earth and belongs to me.
I wish I could make you happy.
I wish I could love you as much as you deserve to be loved.

My pomegranate-tree was in blossom.
It was covered in orange-red blooms, each of which was hiding a secret inside, waiting for the bees.
But the bees never came.
The promise of growing fruit fell on the hard dry ground with the orange-red petals and broke into pieces.
The promise of love evaporated with the morning dew of 13th July and disappeared. Left.
My beautiful tree was abandoned.
It stood there bloomless, fruitless, hopeless.
It used to be the queen of the garden, but now it's crying.
And it is looking forward to next spring.
Maybe then...

Ma este csak hozzád lenne türelmem
Együtt eltemetni az egész világot
És csak egy éjszákára elhinni azt,
Hogy nem lett elrontva a teremtés
És minden a helyén van.
De mivel a teremtésbe valahol hiba csúszott,
Egyedül vagyok ma este.

I know I have a place in your arms

I hope I have a place in your heart

I wish I had a place in your future

She is frightened all alone in the dark house filled with dreams and desires,

Has paper planes flying in her head,

And feels dizzy from the world spinning around behind the glasses of that kaleidoscope.

Still wearing the knickers of last night
His taste is still in your mouth
You had it all for one hour
But you've lost more, the sweet has turned sour
If you ever see him again
He won't recognise you, won't know your name
or if he does it hurts even more
Your dignity's gone and burns in shame

I know you will have to listen to me as I snore when everything is in blossom,
and you will have to see me with uncombed hair,
and you will have to wait until I get dressed and put on my make-up each morning
- but I promise that I will always be there for you
I will never leave you
I will always cook you dinner
and I will kiss you goodnight each time you fall asleep.

And I will have to listen to you as you snore when the air is dry,
and I will have to wash your underwear from time to time,
and I will have to accept that you smoke sometimes,
- but I know that you will always be there for me
you will never leave me
you will always bring me flowers
and you will kiss me goodnight each time I fall asleep.

Why can't you say you love me?
Because I don't... I love your hair, the way you smile, the things you say, the touch of your skin... But I still don't know where *you are...
But that's all me...
I can't look at you as one thing. You are a soul, you're a body, you're an angel, you're a devil, you're the honey in my porridge, and my bitter medicine that heals me...
Just kiss me then...
You?
*My lips.