I am ashamed of how I look
of how the excessive fat creates stretch marks all over my body
I know people throw the "love yourself" type ****
but I cant seem to do that
I am embarrassed of how the lumps of fat
form on my body
of how my thick arms cannot fit through
the sleeves
is it normal to hate yourself
for who you are?
the tears roll down my cheeks as though they're
supposed to
all I asked for was for a person to hand me a tissue
but am I that invisible?

my ice-cream cone was broken
and the ice-cream was spilling out
I have never had a stronger urge
to break the cone in my hands

my world is full of packages
a selfless, giving package called
abnegation
where I can give without stopping
a fearless, determined package called
dauntless
where I can face my fears without shivering
a well-informed, knowledgeable package called
erudite
where I  can know about all the things in the world
an honest, open package called
candour
where I can speak my mind
a peaceful, amiable package called
amity
where I do not need to worry about being alone
but I would like to have all packages
I want to be selfless and friendly and fearless and well-versed and open...……...

I die a little
every time I think of the bad things
I ever did to you

I die a little
every time I think of the good things
I ever did to you

I think I die a little
every time I think of you

my anxiety swoops me
in its tender arms
engulfing me into it
I am a part of it now
my hands are clammy
and leave sweat stains
on the microphone
my voice chokes on itself
as though the last attempt to disappear
from my throat
I don't regret anything more
than this moment

he's not your god
dont act like he is
he is not your idol
not even close
just has this charm
to make you worship him
with your
eyes
closed

she is my friend
she keeps with me
she stays when everyone leaves
she fights when everyone stays quiet
she shout when no one dares to talk
she is my friend
I wish I could be like her