I see his eyes
and my stomach gives me that feeling
like its falling from the clouds

But my mind tells me
it's too soon

*there is still healing to be done

It has been
one of the most gorgeous sites to see
how strong she has become
the beauty that pores out of her
and her heart pounding through her chest
ready to be seen
for who she is
a warrior

A true survivor
from your war
I never would have imagined
it be her hand
that helped me up
when you brought me to my knees

I stand with her.

I've had to speak to my heart
tell her it's okay to still feel the slits
I was gentle with her
made sure she knows
i love her

I asked her to please see
beyond the surrounding walls
understand the strength she has
to take them down

i wonder why i still dwell
why i still even care
unable to walk away after all that was done

i believe i was really the one
that you loved enough to want to be different
and this makes it all hurt again
because i wish i could have been
that you were ready
and you took the chance
to be better

Today you told me to be strong
that you know i am strong
it's so ironic this is coming from you
because you're the reason i have to be
the one who made me crack
i'll never understand why i keep
letting you in
after it all

i guess i still want to know
that you care
you see me

Looking back on this year
i could say it has been the worst one yet
because of what you did
and the parts of myself
i had to lose

Though today I look in the mirror
and i see someone completely
different
than before
i have never known the girl inside this skin more
skin that is becoming soft and clean
of the deep dark waters
she had been dragged in to

it might of taken every inch of my bones
but I pulled myself out
proudly so

why is it wrong for me to admit it
i am worth it
i know who i am
and what i am capable of

my legs need to push
to take these leaps
that i fear will make me fall
but i am worth it

and i am capable