Aware of myself, I step into the class
Stomach still turning
Throat burning
It cuts me like glass

I spot out my friends at their desks
Do they know?
I pop a mint for my breath
Preparing myself to put on my show

I give a happy hello and I smile.
Right away I recognize it’s been quite a while
And just as I’m getting myself in the groove
This girl walks in and she dampens my mood

I can’t help but stare.
I’m jealous of the way that she just doesn’t care.
I wish I could know her but I think that she hates me
She always sits so far from me lately

I could not tell you why but I feel the words slip
And escape from my lips:
“My God she’s so weird”
With a laugh and a sneer

Somebody shushed me and said that she heard.
Great, now she must think that I’m such a ****.
She gives us a glare
I pretend not to care
But I do. I don’t know why I said what I said
But the words are now echoing back in my head

“She’s jealous,” I heard someone express
“She wants to be you.”
All the stress I suppress
If only she knew…

You’ve made it;
They love you.

You’ve really made it;
They hate you.

I see the girl inside my mirror
With glossy hazel eyes
No one knows except for her
The reasons why she cries

I reach my hand out to hers
As hers reach out for mine
As our hands both touch the glass
We’ll stare for quite some time

I don’t know how to help her
But I do know how she feels
Sometimes she’ll wish the world she’s in
Was never really real

I wipe away my tears and smile
So perhaps she’ll feel okay
She returns a smiles back at me
And wipes her tears away

I’m not quite sure who she is
I’m guessing nor does she
I guess that means I don’t know myself
For the girl in the mirror is me

He calls the others lazy
When they do not do his deeds
For blame cannot be placed on him
When the blame's on you and me

He says that they're not busy
And they should play their part
Why should they it's not their mess
Its yours you lazy ****!

But calling others lazy
Doesn't take the blame off you
In order to make progress
Someone must get up and do

She silently swings waving bye to her grief
Floating free like a fallen autumn leaf
A perfect mute to the sorrow she sang
How heavily her heart hangs

                                                                     Not tied with a rope all tight in a noose
                                                           ­   But wrapped in a ribbon so silky and loose
                                                                        Bound by a warm and beautiful bow
                                                                    So easy to break free but she doesn't go
                                                              ­         The color so read of her saving ribbon                                                            Rubs off on her heart and repaints it crimson
                                                         It brings her a smile and a warmth to her core
                                                            ­            Slowly but surely the beat is restored

Before I ever went to school
I thought I knew it all
I could count to ten and back again
And bounce a rubber ball

I could spell my name with no mistakes,
Knew 1 and 1 is 2,
Knew how to say the alphabet
And how to tie my shoe.

Then I went to school and found I didn’t know a lot.
There was so much stuff I had to know I mostly just forgot.
Music, art, and English, physics, bio, French, and math.
Social studies, history, so much stuff it made me laugh.

My younger self had no idea how much more there was to know
The more I aged the more I knew the more I’d learn and grow.
When I finished high school I was smarter than before
I knew I didn’t know it all so I went back to learn some more.
  
This time when I went to school I wasn’t so naïve.
I knew I’d have to hit the books in order to achieve.
If grade school was confusing I figured college would be worse.
If I was going to expand my mind I should expect a lot of work.

There was a lot more subjects and they took a lot more time.
I wondered how there could be room to store so much knowledge into just one mind.
You know that feeling that you get when there’s so much knowledge you feel as though
If they feed you any more of it your head just might explode?
My mind was like a barrel that was filled up past the brim with rocks
And when you tried to add one more, then two would trickle off.
I thought that I would have to quit but there was still so much I didn’t know.
But I chose to stay though doom seemed near because I didn’t want to go.

With failure in my future I bit my lip and I pressed on.
In time I noticed something odd, some of the rocks were gone.
But the rocks had not been falling out as I tossed more in from my hand
They simply had begun to change from rocks right into sand.

All these things I knew
Were now all becoming one
Witch made more room for knowing more
And knowing once more was fun

It wasn’t like when I was small
And thought I knew it all.
But the ease of it was similar
I felt more on the ball.

I recalled before I went to school
And 4 things that I knew:
Spell my name, and 1+1,
ABCs, and tie my shoe.

The one main thing that I know now
That I didn’t know before
This list of things I knew is 2
It isn’t really 4.

Because I know my adding
It is very clear to see
I tie with laces 1 and 2
Not laces 1 and 3.

I spell my name with no mistakes
Because I know my ABCs.
It doesn’t mean that I know less
I just know with much more ease.

At first the more you know and know
The bigger is the mess.
But when it comes together
The load becomes much less

For when your barrel is so full
You think it will explode
The rocks will blend together
And you’ll have more room to grow.