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Lotte Mar 2014
Social media gives every Tom, **** and Harry their five minutes of fame within the confines of an add comment box.

Jovial conversing soon turns sour with the input of a keyboard warrior friend of a friend.

I don't do fat girls.

Meant in jest or to offend, no matter the reasoning, this earring wearing stranger, touched a nerve, a past, my past.

Snidey comments, moments of horror and dispair, that seemingly had disappeared, in that moment haunt me.

I'm the victim again, disgusted by own flesh and gluttony, pulling layer upon layer of darkness upon myself to cover up the rolls.

Shaken from my recollection, i hear the ringing of compliments within my ears, the eyes of a loved ones gazing upon my naked flesh in awe, at its beauty, I smile.

We've come far, this body and I, and although it may not be everyone's cup of tea, it'll do for me, and that's all that matters.
Lotte Jan 2014
Held close to the breast of their surrogate mother
Lush green meadows of her rolling countryside upon their soft cheeks
Their hunger fed by the neverending food of the land

The rhythmic waves of the oceans gently rocking them to sleep
The song of 1million birds, lullabies to their beautiful ears
Soothing their cries as they watch the stars come out, nature's night lights

Upon the stars I gaze at night
Tears running down my face
As I search for a mere glimpse of you
My children of the night
Lotte Jan 2014
I awake from dreams of you
Thinking of nothing but
Functioning hard, my brain focused on desire
It's only just morning and its there
But I will have to wait

The need gets more intense
This more than want
I need to taste you
To feel you
To smell you
But I will have to wait

I check the clock
My heart leaps with joy, excitement overwhelming
Getting to you takes an age
Each minute like an hour
Hurry up I'm craving I feel like screaming
But I will have to wait

I have arrived and you are before me
I sigh deeply as I walk towards you
You smell delicious
Bet you taste even better
I have waited long enough
I need you

I speak 'one boneless banquet for one please with gravy and a full fat coke, no ice'

How I've missed you
You were so worth the wait
Lotte Jan 2014
A tear escapes her icy blue eyes
It runs silently down her cheek
Nothing else gives her away
Her smile set on full beam,
Set within her porcelain face,
Her eyes wide and bright,
But this tear, escaping.

She does not motion to wipe it away
Her hands holding his loosely
She does not turn away from your gaze
You've seen it and she knows
Silence speaking volumes between lovers
The facade amongst companions

His face is white with fear
He cannot hide his emotions,
He is as white as the dress she is wearing
Her wedding dress,
Virginal apart from there
Where the fabric has turned claret
Lotte Jan 2014
I hate death
The slow menancing presence
Always there
Biding its time
Counting down the time for us all
Not letting us in on the big secret
Not even a hint
Just culling us when he deems our time has come

My beautiful Nan
She's given up
She's not fighting anymore
She's ready to be taken
She's awaiting her flight leaving
She's lost her lust for life
She doesn't see all that's beautiful
Just darkness and misery within her mind

Her time is coming
She's wishing it here
She would probably be excited if she could muster the strength
Like children wish for Christmas
We all know he's coming
Like an unwanted family member
Never invited but has to come

He will arrive when we least expect him
Sneak in and take her from under our noses
She will walk hand in hand with this well known stranger
Enter the house I call home
Like a thief and take my most precious possession

The ticking of the clock counting down her time
Counting down our time with her
Removing the batteries changes nothing
Every minute, a minute less
Wiping tears away, calling out 'Cup of Tea, Nan?'
Hoping she will answer
Lotte Jan 2014

Clock watch
Tap your foot impatiently
Waiting for it to come
Counting the minutes
Bored of counting the minutes
Bored of waiting
Bored of boredom

Day dreaming of escaping the monotony
The masses of uniformed clones
Wearing what they're told to by the media
Doing what they're told to do by society
Too scared to question
Living to work
Doing the same day in, day out

The train pulls in the platform
A little late as expected
Packed as expected
Silent as expected
Dead eyes staring out
A glimmer of hope extinguished in each one
Dreams gone but surely not completely forgotten

Run, run, run as fast as you can
Run from your boredom
Run for your life
Run to save your life
Be the colour in a greyscale world
Make the most of every minute
Do things that make you happy
Work to live
Lotte Jan 2014
She calls herself Ethel Du May if you were to ask
But it's not her name, not really,
Even she's not sure what it is anymore

Metal framed glasses with a wonky arm
Skin like crepe paper coated in a layer of polyfilla
With rouge a plenty upon her cheeks, her lips and teeth

Her petite frail frame drowning in gaudy colours and faux fur
Rows upon rows of beads wrapped tightly round her neck
Long pointed red talons, the only decoration upon her delicate fingers

Sitting at the bus stop awaiting the number 21 to town
The time, quarter past nine, she sits and waits
Pressing her menthol cigarette to her lips and tutting looking at her watch

A designer handbag placed upon her lap filled with secrets
Boiled sweets, an address book, anais anais perfume
A hip flask of sherry, metal handcuffs and a spare pair of knickers

She smiles at strangers, at no one, at memories
She's lived a life you only read about in storybooks
And poems
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