Help
Scream
Silence
Something
Something to give this everything
that lives inside me
Something to get my spirits high
up and alive
not this phanthom mood
half dead
half nothing
almost emptier than air
drier
colder
and nothing...
I try to speak
but nothing...
And try connecting
but nothing...
and there's no why
to all of this

It fell down on me like cold steel
thin, piercing, passing through my heart and skin
making my tears come out
following the path of gravity
feeling heavy as they crash with the floor.

I remember how sweet and yellow it all seemed
bright and energetic
filling my everyday with smiles and dreams
my veins with sugar and butterfly wings.

But then the confusion started
heavy and yet like a game
playing with my heart and mind
the same way a labyrinth plays with one'sense of freedom.

And afterwards I just felt it all slipping away
slowly and somewhat gently and quiet
cold and indifferent yet purging
as if filling me with a void
filling me with hunger
only to be fed hopeless poison.

Oh life, I really loved you and cherished you
with those childish eyes I still look at you
but also with the eyes of a confused and skeptical teenager
lost and hurt at the sight of you.
How could you give me my first heartbreak this way?

An old phrase
once adressed to the misfits
now inmortalized
for its dreams I get to pay
and suffer the pain
of what reality
from me has taken away

I used to dream
up high and higher still
I used to believe in a chance
in a change to be and become

But as time passed by
and time wore me off
Tired I got
no strenght to have
left in me

And I got lonely
Not only weak
but also vulnerably
cold and black
and blue and white

Cause too many failures
No voice to encourage you
No hand to help you
Stand in your own feet
May not be a good reason
for complete defeat
but for loss of hope
of course it is
and for loss of dreams...

Eyes wake up to orange pinkish light
Dew in the skin
Dew in them
Leftovers from yesterday's day
And its cold night

You remember the warmth
You remember the voices
And the hands that guided
That just stayed
And then dissolved
in time.

That old song played on the radio today
didn't know what to do
Cry or dance?
Remember, forget
or just go on.

Memories of a love
that never existed
outside our minds
outside our hearts.

Memories of a dream
now ashes
so sweet
only, so sweet.