Pinpricks on my arm
Tiny pinches making me want to turn
I know they're there
And I know what I'll find
But I don't want to find anything
I want everything to stay how it is.
It can't

The pinpricks on my arm
Are getting stronger.
They're piercing now.
Urgent.
Still
I stare at you
Smiling,
Taking in your beautiful face
Knowing it's not so beautiful on the inside
I pretend I don't know
And so do you

The pinpricks aren't pinpricks anymore
They're knives stabbing me
How much pain will I go through to live my wishful reality?
Finally, I can't bare the pain anymore
I turn to see the problem
Face the facts
Find the truth

You were a lie
The way I knew you were
The pinpricks were warnings
Subtle harmonies
Hiding within the melodies
This harmony was an ugly one
Dissonant.
And then the melody wore off
And the harmony was the only thing left.

So I left
The world is full of melodies;
We are all our own.
But everyone is someone's harmony
Either creating
Ugly
Flat
Out of key
Songs
Or creating music
Mocking Beethoven
And doing a good job of it.

You weren't my harmony
Nor I yours
I take my heart and leave.

I spend my time living for you
I spend my time watching you smile
And then you turn to me
And the smile is gone.

I know I can't make you happy
But
I try anyway.

I don't know what I did
To make you so hateful
I don't know what I did
To make you so mean
But I love you
I can't stop
I never will

You were born to love me
And I to love you
But you don't.
It hurts
But
I take it
Not silently
But I take it.
I love you more than anything
I wish you could see that

One day
They say
You will realize you love me
The hating will stop and you will run to me
I'm waiting.
I have always loved you
Since you were born
I have loved you
I'm waiting
For you to love me.

I live for the days that you look at me
Some recognition that you know I exist.
It's not always worth it
Loving you

But then you smile
Or laugh
And I know
Its worth it.

Even if you never see me,
Or never learn my name
I know yours,
And I won't forget it anytime soon.

I live for you
And its scary,
Because you don't know I live at all

But its okay.
Becaue I somehow survive.
And its okay.

Let's go to the sea.
Let's swim and have a picnic on the sand.
Take every day one by one.

Let's close our eyes forever,
And just lay side by side.

Let's not talk,
Let's just be in love.
Yes, I said it,
I love you.

But all these fantasies
Just sit in my head
Untouched
By anyone.

No one knows that I long for the day
We will sit on a beach
Hand in hand

My secrets belong in my mind.

Lost in almosts
And hovering in flight
Not sure where to land

Reaching for you,
And still not sure if you're there
But willing to fall
Because you're worth it.

I would like to cry
And scream
And wave my arms in the air
To get you to see me drowning
But I know it's easier
to just drown for you

Loving you is the hardest thing I've ever done
But its the most worth while thing I've ever done
I hadn't wanted to live before you
Hadn't had a reason to sing before you
And even if I never have you,
I do.
In my heart.