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Lorraine day Jul 2013
Silence the mind
Switch off the phone
Disconnect the computer
Steal time alone
Listen intently
What's your find
Is it peace, tranquility
Have you silenced the mind?
Take a deep breath
Now be aware
Of your own essence
The life source of air
Dwell on your presence
Relish in it til
You've silenced the mind
And the art
To be still
Lorraine day Jul 2013
I thought of you today
I always will
Only time has separated us
I've recorded all our memories
They're etched vividly in my heart and mind
I press play often
I watch your chest rise n fall
Remembering the first time
You grasped my finger
That's when I knew what~ gentleness was
I lifted you upon my chest
Next to my beating heart
Right there and then I learned ~the true meaning of love
I stroked your cheek
Tenderness overwhelmed me
The smell of you was like the sweetest rose
Your sigh brought a smile to my lips
I looked at the ticking clock
Heard it echo loudly like a clanging symbol each second more precious than the first
That's when I learned the value of time

"You taught me so much"

  My angel child

I held you close
You breathed deeply
For the last time

Oh how I miss you ......... Love mummy x
Lorraine day Jul 2013
Age 4 starting school set the scene for the show
The audience captive
Unusual behaviours unraveling
Raised voices trying to instill discipline and order
Into an already chaotic confused , petrified mind
Rulers on knuckles used
Only to further exacerbate damage done
Reward systems put in place
To no avail
Special needs teachers silenced !stunned !

All avenues exhausted still they are baffled
The show goes on without interval
I watch from the front row
Wondering how they earned there caps n gowns
They are all so blinkered
Never looking beyond the school walls

I am part of the show too  just more suppressed  "no one notices me"!
I draw a picture in my news book it's of children playing in the sun
Next to their  fathers grave the children are smiling holding hands happy
I write my SOS message, it said" last night our dad died in a crash now we are very happy

It gives us an interval
Mum gets called in questioned
Denies all knowledge or understanding
"She fails us"! ?
I collect my brother at the gate
We walk home back to dress rehearsals

Where anger, hatred, fear,discord,pain , condemnation, ridicule,  chilling screams,hurt and a large buckled belt awaits
No reason is given
The show goes on
It's the parents to blame
Lorraine day Jul 2013
When shadows fall and night sets in
I am unable to succumb to the darkness
My mind be comes an active gymsasium
Turmoil from memories past begin to play
Like a tsunami they evoke me

Theres no escape or respite
My subconscious becomes a hungary lion
Devouring my rest
Until dawn
Only then does my body yield
To the necessity to sleep
For too little time
Then the new day unfolds
Wearily I attempt to earn my crust
Anticipating the same plight
Once again
When shadows fall.......
Suffering from insomnia is no joke
Lorraine day Jul 2013
Im near the edge
Don't push me
I'm struggling
Don't provoke me
My shell is thin not invincible
I too have limits
I'm being poked prodded used
I don't like it
I'm detatching
Myself
Only then will you appreciate who I am
Lorraine day Jul 2013
I smile and hope it doesn't slip
Laugh wondering if you detect
My act
I'm a master
You ask how I am
I lie n say I'm doing great
I feel uncomfortable
Squirming inside
Desperate to be in solitude
Once again
Trusting only me
With my reall thoughts safely tucked away
In the corners of my mind
Only then can I be at one with myself
I don't owe you anything
Let me be....
Lorraine day Jul 2013
As I stand here by the waters edge
I hear not even a whispered word
The beauty overwhelms me
The display of flowers
The soaring birds
The colours of the changing leaves gracefully fall upon the lake
These sights make me aware
Of every living breath I take
Oh how fortunate am I
That I have the chance to be living
On mother natures sacred earth
That she has freely given.......
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