i had to grow up knowing i'd always be asked where my father was or something to that degree and ive always dreaded the question "where is your father" because i have to say i dont know when i do because hes a ******* lowlife with nothing but beer to his name and yet i cant help but fantasize this perfect father son playing catch friendship but i know thats not possible because he doesnt give enough of a **** and when he rarely pulls his head out of his *** and tries to be a dad it renews my faith only for it to be crushed again when i'm looking at his red face after the 4,000th reassurance thats he's trying to stop but he's never going to try to be a dad and he never does anything but those fantasies of love always make me love him and its just ******* terrible