You look at her like she is the sun to your sky, like everything is clearer when she is around. And she looks at you the same.

That’s okay.

It’s okay because you two are good for each other, you both love each other, and you will both end up so incredibly happy.

And even though that means I probably won’t, that’s okay.
I am so happy that you found your sun, even if it means I will have to get used to living in the dark.

My fingers always find you the way rivers flow toward the ocean ,
eager and desperate for the sea’s love.
You have tied a million strings
to a million memories
in my head and you
tug on my thoughts like the moon on the waves.
I don’t need to dream to see
all of the stars laid out before me
for I am in love with you, and that is
enough.

We are in a locomotive television.
Our head is heavy of the phosphors.
Glitch spills on our tongue.
Vases are going off the rails, blue cells, sick berries.
Endlessly in speed, our hands off the wheel.
Rotten, hulled in our own battling skin,
discordantly beaten throughout our membrane.
Insane, swiped under stumps.
Blackened spew forked our third eye blind.
Hooked to the ***** of pills murmuring us to keep calm.
Dying inside trying, can’t walk in the open
because it is already too late.
Shredded to worn, almost choking in the swarming
dead gore germs from our own mouths.
Our house has become a wolf hole.
Feasting on cold bodies blue,
eating the faces off of the unmindful.
Our feet in the gruel of grey maggots, black cadavers
and soft sad tissues.
We are tricked, taken for a ride whenever we are to transpire tiredness from this horrid immoral reality.
Nutmeg scattered on our nerves.
We are too close to the television, our hair roots are dull.
Tangles sea coral through our head.
Witnessing our own self into the suction to not turn it off.
We are in a locomotive television

I am in constant torment
Preaching self-love and self-joy
and not needing someone to validate me
But I will throw myself under buses
into gutters and rain
for people who don't appreciate my stars
and give me dirt in return
I will let myself burn under fires
of 'yes's instead of 'no's
and repeating I love you
when I've never felt more alone

My heart beats, its steady
and rhythmic drum
But it does not beat
for me.