Anxiously awaiting
Hands practically shaking
For that simple notification of
"you have a new message"
And Im checking again
Even though I know nothing's there
Still hasn't responded, yet
It was a simple, harmless question
And yet, so very important

5 more hours till I can go home
And count the hours till I can go to bed
Wasting my time on meaningless tasks
To get through with yet another day
And repeat it all tomorrow
Just another weekday that I'm counting away
To get to that all too short break
Two days of healing evry other weekend
To keep me from breaking completely
Building up a thin wall in my mind
To try and keep them all out
And myself all in

I'm done with life for a few
Done with school and pretentious *****
Done with repetitive lessons and insults
Done with mothers rants and
Done with my shrinks newest pills
Done with being broken
Done with trying to be fixed
Drs visits, lack of sleep, dehydration,
Aches and pains, side effects,
Stress sickness, dizzy spells,
This is my life,
And I'm temporarily done with it.

You are now entirely mine
Formally shown through
Bite marks and scratches
And when, or before, they fade
I will kindly issue you more
On that previously flawless skin of yours
Sleek, toned muscles, on a thin frame
Warm hands, moving against me
Or tied down with silk ribbons
Entirely mine to command

You say one thing
And demonstrate another
Most of your actions make no sense
I'm tired of your tyranny
Over my life.

I'm starting a rebellion
Against you, I'm tired of your controlling
****** behavior, yelling
And grounding me for weak reasons
You waking me up at 3 am
To complain and belittle me
Asking me questions that I'm too tired
To even comprehend
And punishing me for
Wrong answers and bad attitudes

You've taken everything from me
Through sleep deprivation and
Lack of free will, lack of privacy
you've taken from me
My sanity my kindness
My little willingness for socialization
My level headed disposition
My thirst for knowledge and reading
My creativity and imagination
You've turned me into...
I think your turning me into you
And starting today, I'm taking myself back

Concrete walls to keep me in check
And make us all conform to your laws
And teach us responsibility
Grinding normality into our skulls
Grinding on my nerves
They never got to heal
Every brush of skin
Makes me feel the walls close in
No music to soothe
To block the noise
Inside or out of my head
180 more days
The expect a 180 degree turn
In my behavior from last year
But all I can do is stare
And dream of the woods

I cower in fetal position
As angry words are thrown
Not at me,
But hurting all the same
I close my eyes
But I can still see
My safe haven
My stable foundation
Is crumbling
Because of things
That may or not have
Even happened
Just suspicions
The slightest little hints
Taken as proof
Of infidelity

I slip on my shoes
Tiptoe around them
I leave, they don't even see
I walk thro the yard and
Grasp the branches of my favorite tree
And climb up until
All I can see is the beautiful landscape
And all I hear is birdsongs  
And then the tears come
Ever so quietly