"Good morning"
Is typically my first lie of the day

Then after that comes "I love you too, mom"
"I'm fine" is a fairly common one
Normally somewhere I say
"I'm not hungry" or
"It's just a scratch"

"I don't need people I'm fine on my own"

Sometimes saying "how are you?"
Is a lie because I don't really care
Unless your a friend in which case I do.

"I pledge allegiance to the flag..."
A lie I say every school day.
  
And I tend to end my day with
"Good night, sleep well"

Do you love me?
I know you love my body
And I know you love what I can do to you
But do you love me?

God I used to love you so much
You have no clue baby doll
But now? I don't even know
You just have me confused

We've been together forever
I don't even remember since when
But baby I remember you had me from go
You were my everything you know

But I think we're fading out
And I hate it I wish it wasn't happening
But that doesn't stop it.
It doesn't heal us

Don't get me wrong
I'll keep holding on
Just like I always have
Until you let go

Baby that'll **** me inside
But you already know that
Baby doll you have my heart
In your hands please baby

Before you let go, please
Put it back where it belongs

I can't believe your threatening me
Go ahead you old ******* hit me
I ******* dare you.
I've been looking for a reason
to never come back please
Please give me one
I will be so **** happy.

I feel like I'm standing on deaths door
And His icy hands are griping
Me around my ribs I can't breathe
I'm waiting for Him to claim me
Or anyone here we're all subject to His will

Death is finicky
He claims randomly
And I'm in His terrain
A place where He claims
And counts the newborns
His eventual victims

He is here I can feel Him
As my knees go weak
And my vision fades
I grit my teeth
and try to stay in the game
Because I'm not His, not today.

I think I have
Officially lost my mind
But I'm not quite sure, yet.
I spent quite a bit of time
Discussing with myself
And it is inconclusive
Sophia says I have
But Isabella says I have not
And I'm listening to them debate
Me and the others cannot wait
To get a definitive answerr
Ethan occasionally chimes in
He can't stand to be left out
Riley and Richard lurk in a corner
With some popcorn
And Annabelle is off in her own little world
She doesn't much care either way.
She's watching the unicorns and the fey
That are produced by the drug haze

I want to be a pixie
Not a fairy,
Pixies are sensual
Beautiful tricksters
They flit around
From tree to tree
Tempt and taunt
And tease
And have no queen

Fairies on the other hand
Are innocent
And cute
They flit around
And do good
And listen to their queen
How adorable,
But not for me
I want to be a pixie.

People in my family, that don't know me real well
Tend to tell me I had a good childhood
And it's all because they don't know

They see the facts like
She went to Disney Land,
And California
And Mexico
Not to mention,
How her grandparents spoiled her

But I remember very little of my time like that
don't get me wrong, I'm not ungrateful
To my aunt and grandparents
It's just that I don't remember most of it

What I do remember of my childhood is
Getting my hair brushed by mom
And anytime I moved or said ow
she'd hit me with the brush

Or when I didn't hear her,
Before we knew I was half deaf,
she'd get so mad
And she'd punish me for ignoring her

That time I was helping her clean the yard
And the next thing I knew
she had me down on the ground
kicking me, for somthing
I don't even remember what for

I remember my 5th birthday,
Evryone brought me presents
And as I opened them,
she took them from me
And put them in the corner
Because I didn't deserve them

I remember walking in on your husband
Choking you
Your face was blue
And I turned around and walked back out
I had just turned four
And it wasn't even a cause for concern

I remember her parties
Late at night,
They were so loud I couldn't sleep
And I wasn't allowed to leave my room for anything
I'd be in there for hours,
No food or drink
I was afraid to come out and see
After that first time
And I saw you in that outfit
On that pole and
Those plates of white powder
The straws and needles
And all the smoke
And the bowl of colorful pills
I didn't know what it was for
But it scared me
And I never came out again

And I remember babysitting
I was only eight
I could barely talk
And couldn't really hear
But I took care of myself
And my sister and brother

I remember that boyfriend you had
When I was eleven
I remember his wandering hands
And how warm and sticky they were
And how much he liked to "help" me
When you were gone
And the razor blades that made me forget
And the new scars to cover the ones made by his chains

And I remember each and every bruise you've left
And all the mean words you've said
I remember all of it,
And you know what?
I wish I remembered Disney Land