"Five years of friendship, I don't think I have seen you cried."

"I honestly don't remember the last time I cried."

"That's a good thing then?"

"No. My tears are all dried up."

She loves puzzles, the nitty-gritty details, and the distinct pieces. She has completed one after another, and another, and another. Yet even after she's done, the complete frame did not make her happy. She's still sad, unfulfilled, incomplete.

*Little did she know, the missing piece is not from the puzzle. The greatest riddle is still herself.

the ringing sound we hear
when everything was silent
became her music

the red spot we see
when everything was pitched black
became the only color she sees

she lived in a world
where nothingness
was everything that surrounded her

she lived in a way
we all called as dying

We were too focused on the uncertainties,  we have forgotten how it felt to be sure.

I am so tired of endings
I don't wanna start anything at all

I am tired of losing things
I don't wanna feel like having anything at all

I am so used to being lost
I don't wanna be found anymore

I am tired of faking smiles
I don't know what's real anymore

I am so used of being broken
I feel nothing at all

at 18, she fell in love. the kind of love that moved mountains and swam seas. he made her write about relationships, mutual ones like the flowers and the bees

*at 21, she started writing tragedies.

why am i
so afraid
to see you

when i
have already
rehearsed
this day
a million times

maybe i
just can't believe
how quickly
we drifted apart

this time
last week
we were
so full
of life

from that day
forward
we never really
saw
it coming
(or did we)

but we did
we did
we did

*we died

You'll always be the dream
that wakes me up at night

My heart aches and my body longs to be with you. I never knew one can love another person this much.

Even your bruises look like galaxies,
no matter how broken you see yourself to be, you'll always be fascinating to me.

There'a something subtly terrifying about the sound of the clock - tick tock tick tock - like it's the world's reminder that we shouldn't waste our time on something unimportant. Yet, here we are writing our hearts out, never knowing if these words create an impact.

But I have to gamble. Read or not.
I choose hope.
"Hope" how lovely that word is. I think hope is the most beautiful word, at par with faith and love. It is belief in the positive, belief in all good things, belief that the future is good even if it's yet to be seen.

*"May your choices reflect your hopes and not your fears"

I am the woman molded from your rib
I'm meant to be by your side

I am the spider crawling underneath your clothes
but you're not afraid of me

I am the moon who keeps a part of herself hidden
But I'm always the full moon for you

I am the shadow that stalks you through the day
and crawls under your sheets at night

I am the wind that whispers to your ears
and breezes through your body

I am flawed, and *******, and aimless
but I love you
from the deepest and dustiest corners of my heart

I'm afraid that one day I will no longer remember the way you walk or the way you eat, or the way you write, the way you speak, or the way you tilt your head when you look at me, even the way you make your eyebrows meet. Or how you pull me closer, or hold my hands, or smell my hair, even the way it makes you jokingly wanna puke.

I'm afraid that one day I will no longer remember the taste of your lips, the shape of your face, the smell of your skin, the sound of your voice, the texture of your palms, the places of your scars, or moles, or your calluses.

I'm afraid that one day I will forget everything that matters..
*But the thing I fear the most is having to wake up one day
and feel forgotten.. by you.

You are both the problem and the solution; the cure and the disease. You are both love and chaos, and I no longer want to stay in between.

And I have been telling people
To never hesitate,
To always love,
To never waste time

I have been reminding people
It's okay to cry,
It's okay to care
It's okay to show affection

I have been urging people
To help the broken
To pull the down
To heal the beaten

But all these are just excuses
All these are lies
I want people to save other people
*I just want people to save me

No matter heavy the world weighs,
I will carry it for you.

I wish I could save you from falling apart.

The earth is a messy place
and the monsters I fear are familiar faces. But no matter how scary the world is, it's bearable because of you.

You are my courage.

9 years ago
You could have given me a pen
And I would have written a hundred words
All about longing and sorrow

Now
All I hold are crayons
Given to me by a toddler
Who looks exactly like the person I love the most
Coloring endlessly
Talking about dolphins and rainbows

Oh how good life has gotten

And in the end
It's not about how you feel
that matters

It's what you intend to do

You are the rain that comes and goes
and I am the girl in the yellow dress running for shelter, soaking wet and always unready. I didn't bring an umbrella that day. I hardly ever do, little did I know I was meant to bump into you.

You were the storm that wanted everything else to be damaged
but for some reason, you cannot destroy me; I was the little kid  enjoying the storm as I dance to every beat of your thunder's roar

You wanted to be unpredictable so you can startle me, hence you came crashing the sky in broad daylight, but that too did not catch me off guard

You are the rain that comes and goes and I am the girl that stood still