“No one’s perfect until you fall in love with them”
That’s what they say
And I've fallen for a boy
Who couldn't possibly fall for me
But I fell for him anyways,
And he is perfect in my eyes
But it is useless for he won’t love me back
Quite sad, isn't it?
He must not realize that he wanders
Into my mind every so often
I have him memorized
While he barely glances my way,
And has taken over my daydreams

I want to be alone.
Do you ever get that feeling?
Where you don't want to get in anyone's way?
You don't want to be a problem,
A distraction?
I get that feeling.
I don't know why.
I don't even know why I'm still depressed.
Am I even?
I have no reason to be sad
I have good people in my life
Nice supports
But yet
I still get the urge to cave in
Hurt myself
Like before
When no one knew
Before anyone had the chance to care
I want to be left alone
I want to stay home all day
Open my windows and freeze
But I feel joy in the air
When I talk to him
Remember my latest adventure with her
These people care
Why do I still get the urge
To hurt myself
To just go.
Not die.
just.
let.
*go.

Tear here, and tear there
Rip here, rip there
Keep going until you can't
Then throw those lies down the drain

Cry here, and cry there
Sniffle here and sniffle there
Just wipe the tears till you dry
He can't cause no more pain

Smile here, and smile there
Laugh here and laugh there
Keep on going don't look back
You are done with that game

You are done with the lies
and watch them as the go down the drain

Held hostage
By my hopes and dreams.
In *******
To my endless schemes.
Pray to God
That I succeed.
Then light
Another bowl of ****.

JMA 2003

Shes in my heart
in my mind
but not inside
my arms or eyes
this void can not be compromised
with nothing short of loves demise.

on the outskirts I watch them mingle
like a wallflower, yet less beautiful
tears welling in my eyes
like the shallow end of the pool to play in, but never to fall into
a fake smile pasted upon my lips  
like drawn with permanent marker
lies like I'm fine or I'm okay
repeated time and time again
day to day
and memories like scars refuse to fade