As I lay here on my bed
I though I could write some
stuff off my mind

"Roses are red
Violets are blue ..
How full of **** are you
you say you love me
but i knew those were lies
you claim me as your love
but I knew you lied by
your cold blooded eyes  "

I wrote that poem to you as our breakup
words
I wanted to last with you .. you know forever
but you seem not care
cause you moved on and living a happily life
but there's me ..

moping and crying
praying that the pain will just
go away but no its stays there just
haunting me with every lie and cheat
and pathetic waste of love

I just wanna say one last word to you ...

are you happy now ?

One in the morning and I can't sleep
A billion times I have closed my eyes
A couple of shakes and I try to escape
But time has me, I sit and realize.
I focus on the clock that sits
And stares me down like a lion
My eyes are dry and I'm tired, I feel it,
I squeeze but I really can't start crying.
Time ticker strikes two and I yawn pretty big
I lay down so I'll be sane in the morning
But I guess sleep was not quite my motivation
Because I find reality, really, quite boring.
Quarter to four and my mind is a bore
I still sit and question my size
I'm small and mortal and dying, I know,
I'm nothing compared to the skies.
But the time is going, it still bores on,
It rambles like my thoughts on this night
And I won't go to bed because I know it won't stop
Clocks don't freeze at the first sign of life.
We're caught in the spiral that I've come to get
So I spend all my time imagining it gone
But here on this morning, when five rolls around,
These thoughts are not leaving at dawn.
I was thinking that maybe if I think hard enough
If I think all of these problems right through
I'll understand why I'm insane in this way
And why the clocks don't even care if there's dew.
Closer to six and my head hits the pillow
It's not time that I've seemed to understand
I really get, now, that I've been thinking too much
And I'm truly on the underhand.
I'm come to terms with the fact that one day
I'll just be words and thoughts and 'remember her's
My legacy will, one day, not exist
And my ideas will not be much of a blur.
I'm starting to see, as it's now seven o'clock
That the clocks are simply running the race
They're in the lead, slowly beating me,
Time is just the subject of the chase.

RE: an open letter to the sciences

                To the laws of science, physics and attraction,

it's the reaction when I wink
that I'm worried about, it's my weak link,
my loose link, a failing eye that cannot blink
in a ****, discreet, try-and-compete-with-this,
way.
In bars and upon streets is where I wish to catch the eye
of a woman walking the opposite way, on a wind
that makes her walk a little quicker than usual,
it's then, at this point, just as she passes,
that my left lid would close is a gentle flash
and I'd swoon into her memory
as, that-guy-who-gave-me-a-non-weird-completely-in-context-wink.
This­ is where you come in laws of science, physics and attraction,
I'm failing to achieve such a goal, I'm a gimmick;
they'd probably use it against me to appear the better person
in a conversation they may have without me,
help me laws.
I know you're just textbook pages stored in classroom drawers,
but you must be filled with information about casual flirtation,
maybe a how-to chapter on how to capture the eye of someone
or a section on how to practice the wink in a reflection, in a mirror,
somewhere else that isn't here.

Science. Physics. Attraction. I know my grades
in you were less than perfect, abysmal I will admit,
but I'm asking for your wisdom.
Yours,

Tim Knight
Age: Inadequate

I am but a boy,
who became a man.
And for every day I lived as myself,
I grew into something more.
Until I was more than I ever was before.
I lived a life's journey in 15 years,
Through every stone and sneer.
I have a strength that was always my own,
Yet it is a power we have all known.
I am strong with this power, as strong as your most powerful moment.
With this power I was there when You were hurt.
You with a capitol, because you are just as important as I.
With this power I felt your pain,
How you hated yourself.
You cut.
You starved.
You did your best to DESTROY yourself. To erase yourself. To... ****... yourself.
And you...

you...

you are still here.
YOU beat back depression.
YOU in all capitols because you are strong like I.
YOU took the talons of depression, hate, unhappiness, and you ripped them out,
One by one,
Each one took their tole, a piece of your beautiful soul.
But they left room to grow, to re-learn, and know,
Happiness, Peace, Joy.
You fought tooth and nail, you felt the pain like me, you gave all you WERE like ME, YOU sought FREEDOM from THE DARK like ME, YOU GAINED EVERY OUNCE OF POWER YOU HAVE NOW.
YOU gained it in saving yourself.
As I did the same.
Thats how I know I was there, along with everyone else like us.
I felt your power, Your strength, all your own, yet similar.
That strength... I admire it.
Never lose it, and I will never lose mine.
I love you, as a sister or brother.
For this strength we share.

Hey little sister.  I know you're too young to understand what I've done. They probably told you I died in my sleep, protecting you from the whole story. They'll tell you when youre older. I know you miss me. You still think of me sometimes when my favorite song comes on the radio. But dont cry for me ojeda. I love you
Hi mom. You know what really happened. You knew I was in pain for a long time but you never thought it would go this far.  I know you still cry too late at night when no one can hear. I know you never stopped hurting. But dont cry for me mother I love you.
And daddy, I'll be home again soon. We'll be together. You can smile again dad. I love you.
To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did.
Dear nanny. You're broken hearted just like I was, I know. Your first grandaughter is gone. You're slowly fading. Your smile is gone. But dont cry for my grandmother, I love you.
Hey Pa. You can't believe I'd do this. I was such a happy child. Smiling, always playing. What happened? But dont cry for me grandfather, I love you
To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did.
And friends, stop your crying. You know I hate it when you're sad. I'm still here, you just cant see me. I still hug you, I still laugh at your jokes. Dont cry for me my friends, I love you. To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did. To all those I loved, to those who loved me. There was no "Sydney" left to save. She died long before I did.

Daddy, you look sad today
Is it something that I said?
Did I make you mad when I spilled the juice?
I'm only being a kid.
Daddy, please don't yell so loud
The neighbors might hear again
I promise I won't ask to play
I'll just go to bed.
Daddy, what's been wrong lately?
Why are all those bottles there?
Let's go outside and make you happy
You don't even have to braid my hair.
Daddy, why don't you say it anymore?
You love me when I go to sleep?
Can't I make it all better?
I'm sorry mommy isn't with me.
Daddy, what's that noise I hear?
I hate to see you cry
I'm running to save you, quick as I can
I promise I will try!
Daddy, what's that thing you have?
The metal is black and cold
I've seen that thing out on the streets
It's a sad thing I have been told.
Daddy, what was that loud noise?
And why did you go to sleep?
Why did you say I love you, goodbye?
When in the morning you'll see me?
And daddy, why won't you wake up?
Please, stop lying there
I'll try and carry you to bed
As long as I don't stumble on the beer.
Daddy, I wish you would wake up
But I hear nothing from your heart
It's just like mommy when we saw her
Please, I don't wanna be apart!
I'm sorry you weren't happy
And you said it's not you, kid
I want you to know you're always my dad
And I love you no matter what you did.