I find myself telling you things
I don't even like to admit to myself

thank you for your advice
I knew it was forever when I laid on that table
but I've learned in my short years
that permanence is something
I need to get comfortable with
Because yes, this was a choice
But we don't always have a say
in those things that mark us for life

what makes me so forgettable?

the winds are battering the soft side of my chest
and my skin is in conflict
for thats where the storms and sun meet

so much has changed
since when i was with you
and the warmth of your skin
made my heart beat just faster
and stopped any cold from sneaking in

but then I was vulnerable
and the storms found the cracks
found the ways to get in
found that they could take over

so now I'm left here
with the sun on my face
and with chaos inside

listening to your playlists
realizing its impossible to forget you

My religion changes by the week.
Ive believed in that man unseen,
who appeared in the songs I'd sing as a girl in church camp.
Ive scoured the stars and the planets,
hoping each light through the window would spell out my purpose.
Other times my belief comes out when I'm singing along to that old cd.
The one I know every word to
as if the lyrics were somewhere inside me.
But recently my passion lies in the way his eyes change when the sky goes dark,
and the tension in his muscles when he pulls me close.
I wonder if they know,
those who have upturned my worlds,
just how drastically different I am now,
how changed I was then,
and how all thats coming is further transformation.

looking at the facts
I dont understand myself
but looking at the feeling
I couldnt imagine another way