do not fall in love with people like me.
i will destroy you
so beautifully
yet so quietly
that you won’t even realize you’re gone
until you are.

not because i want to.
because some part of me thinks loving me
is something you have to survive.

i will pull away
when all i want is to be pulled closer.
i will freeze
when you offer warmth.
i will try to disappear
just to see if you come looking.

and you will.
and that will break me
more than it ever breaks you.

so do not fall in love with people like me,
unless you can love someone
who is still learning
how to be loved.

i’m only seventeen,
i don’t know anything.

but i know i miss you.

hey love,
i know you’re only gonna up there for a little while,
but i’ve been missing you this whole time.
i keep thinking about you in the clouds,
somewhere between here and there,
and how even the sky feels a little quieter
when you’re not around.
how far are you away from me now,
at this moment?
i hope vacation is good to you,
but not too good.
i want you to come back.
i miss you already.

you’re in the sky,
and i’m still here,
counting clouds
and minutes
until you land safely,
until you message me back,
and feel, again,
like the world makes sense.

green means go
but i hesitate.
because every green light
turns yellow eventually,
and i’ve learned to fear
what’s coming.

it’s not really about driving.
it’s just,
every time life feels good,
i’m already scared
of losing it.