yeah, call me a ****.
it must be why i’m not only afraid of intimacy,
but any sort of physical touch as well.

i will never forget how you left with zero hesitation
i will never forget how easy it was to break two hearts
i will never forget the silence that followed
i will never forget the way you didn’t turn around
i will never forget all the words i left unsaid
i will never forget how i’m the one to blame
i will never forget the way your name still lingers in my mind
i will never forget how you made forgetting impossible

it’s snowing,
but not enough to cover the ground,
not enough to stick.

just like me—
falling, trying to matter,
but never enough.

one year ago today,
you reached out for the first time.
my mom says i dodged a bullet,
but i know—
i would’ve taken that bullet for you,
been collateral in your war.

except now
it might be my own bullet.

how do i go back to when i was happy…?

my new year’s resolution
is to take my medicine every night

why would i not take it
if it keeps me whole?

i don’t know
i wish you could tell me