Let’s take on
deforestation
to get what lies in the
center of the forest.

you are tomato soup

acidic

and creamy.

your path is marked
by risen temperature in my esophagus.
your path is parallel to my spine.

and you rest in the warm vats of my stomach
but you are warmer still.
no real need for digestion.
you are but orange liquid.

but sometimes you burn

tttttttttsa on my tongue

your steam-less appearance fooled me;
there is no need for cooling

hot hot tomato soup.

you are
annoying and unfaithful
greedy and habitual
poor baby
what must you lust after now
and sob rivers with no reasons
you lack directions
and standards
and thrive on attention
of unattractive actions
you are eleven
going on ten
and have yet to blossom
we give up on you
since i occupy the back burner
behind rats and redheads

I am camera shy
around you
but fearless among
others
take pictures with me
to go along with
our memories
because I want to see
what will one day leave
my brain

Is it inappropriate
to stand half an inch closer
or have three to a booth?
Our thighs are touching.

I sometimes wonder
if you only speak for attention
whimper
bark only behind fences.

You are lonely
it is unbearable.

Let me swoon in your warmth
from half an inch away.
Our romantic ties
cease within siblings.

Trivial they may seem
one worded acknowledgments
provide the greatest of hopes

sing into my seashell
slung around my neck
it tremors with my heartbeat

lay vertically on my pillow
and let the coolness
influence your words

Smoky pores: so familiar
sticky necks and inner elbows
alone I am a flamingo
in soft pink cotton
free chested
bare legged

artificial air
from blades spun wild-
a source for white noise
and companionship

I miss the greasy weather
take away my wired bed
shove it under the frame

to spend this time together
most exposed
   as I sleep
admire my black heads
and the semi-permanent
smell of fire and ammonia
despite the bursting thermometer
and idle thermostat
your breath on my arms is no nuisance

wake me up at six in the morning
and kiss my smoky skin

I shook as I entered your doors
diabetic knees
I walked with caution
make myself unseen
with the utmost desire for visibility
hang off the ledge
bat my lashes

my love for her is unconditional
disappointment and triumph
I am a worm
let me burrow into your chest
and into the heart of the working nest
      miss me and accept me
      recognize me
      be glad to see me

adrenaline, like caffeine
I giggle and beam with river-eyes
expecting intense reaction
you continued your solemn demeanor
but through satellites you kiss my cheek

after alone ventures
windy waits for velvet seats
emptiness absorbed excitement from minutes before

I thought I missed the market
but surely I’ve mistaken

comparable to a parasite
but with a higher mortality rate
it has opened its mouth
and found a way to my insides
it began to multiply
an asexual creature
and slowly I was being consumed
they nested in the linings of my stomach
giving me sudden lurches
which triggered my anxiety
then frolicked in my eyelids
irritating the iris
and I was forced to cry
then such creatures
tunneled their way back to
my flaking epidermis
and for a split second my body remained its shape
but one could soon see
I fell victim to a consumption

you were a packaged deal
and came with a disclaimer
claiming emotionally unstable
and jittery
with minimal ability to balance
book and art and poetry
with your overactive *** drive
and unquenchable thirst for intoxication
and I kept you in mint condition
barbie
as best as I could while you kept mind
and we matched
and interlocked
and soon were inseparable
but barbie i can only keep you so long
your hair is fading
and so is the loneliness that once made me praise you
and barbie you are a burden
and are weighing on my glass display
and leaning and tipping
and are making no effort to support your own weight
i may be your plastic stand
but i am more than moral support

You are the rock of the river
splashed at but immobile
you are stubborn and fearless
roots embedded in the dirt
a permanent home
no moss
and untouched by erosion

water parts ways around you
like you trudge against current
and out of respect
fear
or pity
they go around you
you stubborn rock.

I am aware of red flags
and really aware of the possibility
that these lead to red rivers:
red running rivers
in which I am floating face up

have you forgotten:
I am able bodied?
and able bodied as I am
I am equally swollen with boredom weight
and the weight of boredom
and the perpetual presence
of the inability to see my toes
(if I lean back far enough)

and with this body
(and that body floating in the river)
I have filled a lake of tears
and blood
and ***** and oil
that you have fished in and taken from

in that river I am stained red and blue
and so are the towels I used
(we used
you used)

oh fisherman
retrieved my body
(if you get this message)
because I am calling for you from heaven
you are weeping and heaving
as you hoist my body from the river

it is too late, fisherman
it is no use to pump
red and blue
(purple) water
from my lungs

I have filled myself with it
in its airborne state

and I am watching you, fisherman
from the skies and the sea
in every carp you catch
and whether you eat me or spare me
fisherman
I am perpetually grateful
to your choosing of my choices

I am a wire hanger
bean pole
drape me with your cotton
inspire me with spandex.
copper wire
sewing needle
clothing is no coverage.
what the hell is modesty

Those hot peppers you feed me
tsssss all the way down
smoke is in the intestines
and esophagus

have you punched me?
i am sore.

and caffine
i am woozy from you
a wooden ship on rough seas
rocky

swallowed enough air for zeppelins
under your shirt hides a fleshy balloon

have I wronged you?
i am sensetive
and vengeful

Stalling
get your foot off the acceleration
hold my hands not my thighs
the lights gone red
this may take a while

once were off
my head: blown back
I love the speed
but our senses failed us
my body lied
we hit a tree
a ****** accident
who was the victim, really
the wounds were the same
my blood
stained you
save me with your holy hands
I’m bleeding out of every nook and cranny
this red light
may be longer than expected

when two voices called out
my cheeks regained their rose

they wrote your biography in front of me
and page after page my decisions changed
and though they declared to be the up most unbiased of voices
their loyalty to you was unbroken

but  never did I tell of what happened that night
because the words could never be arranged so sweetly
and while those thoughts closed up the back of my neck
I uttered but a few ideas as we lay with lights on
and soon I was exhausted

And on that night
I fell victim to fear
and I cried for hours on end
with stubborn decision

but those voices soon refreshed my waters
and they began to flow again with the utmost of might

and the population has increased
and I may finally bathe peacefully in the waters
because since I read your biography
I've understood every page

I am still
in the cocoon of your
tall grass
and my fingernails stopped growing
after I chewed them off too many times
my dress keeps getting shorter
and sometimes the clouds peek at my *******

the wind has just picked up
I’m not sure if there’s a storm
because I am
face down

I heard lightning
but felt no thunder
the grass grew tall above me
taller than previous years
and though this might be a scary sight
I love those weedy willows

We have romanticized the idea
of a large ceramic bowl

an area
to potentially suffocate

lay until water drops body temperature

sticky humidity
is this sweat or water

cinnamon scented
and flavored
snafu: flames
singe my nostrils with your desserts

naked
and vulnerable
but completely content
I am stewing
in ceramic bowls

"you are so comfortable"

but have the pelvic bones
that I knew not of
existing anatomically
greeted your elastic skin?

hard bone on hardwood
friction on my outer flagella
pangs in my pits
this continues to concave

an artificial frame;
deemed healthy
after an unsatisfied lifetime
I remain as so
I am a wire hanger
draping fabric
awkward angles

I beg your pardon
I am far from comfortable

I want to lay on your shoulder

swing lazy arms like rope
and bound me with warm breath

do not kiss me; I am uneasy
but rather coo me
and monitor the rate
of in and out oxygen

you are my ******
pink and white
elongated pill
I am no victim to anxiety
with you
and your fox jacket

For you to understand your self-destruction
must I demonstrate
sweet sugary ellipses
to help initiate dreaming
but what if I postpone
and begin to
talk of inanimate objects
ramble meaningless words
would you call me
as I continued
while you goodbyed
must I demonstrate
force fear upon your intestines
for your eyes to open
from your ellipse induced daze?

The roles
have turned
and the tables
reversed

phobia stricken mouse
will clean your ***** from the floor

I am stronger than my anxiety
and yours
and the rest of those
guilty and afraid

have you no faith in medicine
more so science
than powders you take for fun

I am so insulted
and so angry

imagine the first glimpse
of the top of your head
black roots on black thoughts


I could not feel my legs
and my stomach rearranged
to tickle my uvula

you remember it all
mom
you remember nothing

*mom

I grew into a woman of mountains
and ridges amongst tissue
even peach fuzz can’t conceal
the daintiest of dimples

then spiders ****** me dry
and my insides liquefied
my ******* were the first to go
the second my femininity

looking good is being dry

Either I'll see you in ten minutes,
God

or I’ll be lying in bed
self-induced coma
oatmeal upbringings from my esophagus

tremor stricken
shrunken sobs
grasp onto life
or onto toilet paper

in my bath of uppers
ill insist on decency
wear white
forced affection
carry me on chairs
and take my candy

and my daughter will exasperate
at the end of the lane
MOM
and will see the triple entante of assistance
and will choke
and stroke my forehead

and ill meet prostitutes
and color
and expel black liquids
from all crevices of my body

make this easy on me
God
or I’ll see you in ten minutes

It is pure torture
sitting in a room with hungry eyes
faces pulled tight
as they smell their food
I sit
with food grown on trees
and narrow my eyes
in despise
of pizza loving fools

have i become so dependent
that i cling to the microfibers that form in your dryer
and stick on your sweater

because for six months
seven months ago
i tasted italy and salvador
and corn tortillas
and teeth
and missed ***** mexico

and for three weeks
about two months ago
i spun around the washing machine
until my fibers were stuck and someone detached me
and i lay there soppy
and i lay there wet

and i blame the machine
its sheer power and ability to wipe clean the stains of engine oil and uv blue you drank in the garage

and i have lost dependency
because of its lack of sustainability
i miss my baby
all my babies
every baby
and if you need me
ill be collecting the microfibers
that form in your dryer
and stick on your sweater

For whom do you sacrifice
my child
slave over sweat
is this for yourself
you are excited by attraction
and attractiveness
find time for little but
introverted social butterfly
tell me
sweet daughter
what have you done for me
each night you ask
protection from fear
healthiness
then thank for the generic
do you think about it often
how little you feel you need me
how often do you visit
a dying man

then you insist upon apologetic mannerisms
send your tears
worship rosaries on your death bed
to you I am but a figurine
to match your decor
do something noble perhaps
with your false sense
of kindness to all
you know of truth
and are belittled when it’s said
I know I am in your head
when his is three times more strong
your commitment is noble
this you have not lied
but you sinner
come home

It was the heavy breathing
I think
that I liked the most
our mouths made no movement
as our faces dried
and sternums rocked
planted kisses in a chalk line
wet florettes on my chest
pretended to worry
about potential marks on my neck
such gentle
aggressive manners
heart rate raised
resulted in the breathing

anxiety
A select spot
and involuntary
gyration
of the hand

there really is no tingle
or tickle
but it is comforting
-- a safety mechanism.

I get no pleasure,
but rather distraction.

  coarse,
      
    thick

anxiety makes me itch.

lets be two naked
self conscience individuals
and sit in a half full
half empty bathtub

we'll fill it with freezing water
that evaporates when our skin makes contact
we are magnetic
and static
and our clothless skin transfers
heat through osmosis

our necks are sweating
and beading
and drips down the stunted hour glass
love handles filled with sand

and that sweat is freezing
but evaporates down my body
ripples in the water
we have not moved in hours

Expel
mint liquids;

   cool my stomach
      and my tongue.

chew ferociously
   for thirty minutes

harden
and liquefy

      I’ll peel another.

I will finish packs in a day
   chain chew like cigarettes

aspartame

I can blow bubbles
   and then put them in my stomach

Your chest pains
and elephant weights
outweigh her puppy eyes.
but I feel bad
a human
turned bridge troll
banished
exiled
stay on your island, napoleon
you give the country heart attacks
and it will fire back

but I am emotional
are you cold there
lonely
do you cry as much as I?
we will ignore your smoke signals
moveless like rigor mortis.
for once
France does not surrender

it is noisome
but rather unnoticed.
easily remembered scents;
sawdust and masculinity.

be honest
when did you last wash your hands
perform bacterial baptisms
to was the nicotine
from your lucky
and pomade
from your hair

and when did you last
think of me at three am
were you in bed
in the sea and the sky
and was it hot in thirty below zero

do you miss me
when youre *****
and craving naivety
and when it gets too hot under fleece pants
are your thighs sweating yet?

With wet hair
my bed was unfamiliar bed
and I sobbed the majority of the night
while all were sick around me.

and I felt alone
helpless
and wanted you to be with me
more than I ever had
to warm up the cool patches
in those sheets
and to offer your chest
as I mimicked waterfalls

When is it that you've had enough
when you can't tell methane from Mexico
and the bruises on your knees
resemble the hickies
from the drug dealer boyfriend
you left last summer

I remember him very well
and picture his blurred face
Looking at me longingly
from between my legs

he was sweaty
and I was vulnerable
and he used every inch of my body
to convince me of his desire

but I dont mind
and an certainly not shameful
of that curiosity I developed
for telling skunk from week
and the admiration
and ****** frustration
for the cholo type of boy

sometimes I miss you
but maybe those are nights
that I'm not getting any

What was likely apple jacks
that resembled arroz con leche
was the primary factor in
an eleven
year
anxiety
attack

the frozen inability to enter
muraled cafeterias
clement j zablocki
you hold torture chambers

"call my mom I am sick"
distract me from my nausea
my mental nausea

I am not ready for this confrontation

More potent than caffeine
  
      I am electricity
      I am twitches

and I will shoot out in all directions
my powerhouse is your stomach

Feel me
      in your
            fingertips
   static shock without contact

suddenly you are running

   racing

and will fidget as your brain
      fires sticky signals
   tiresome synapses

it repeats
for eleven years it has

take me to your quacks
   I’m done with my anxiety.

Please
spare me of sweetheart details
of how your traveled redundantly
and gorged on material things
with others money
as I earn my own
yet still receive complaints
and see little of those I love
so please answer me
what is free time

After nearly forgetting your face
I crave nothing but to study it
respect my wishes
and my longingness for affection
I pray my face be more radiant
with warm rose light
than cold blue
artificial glows

after such absence
you remember who I am
the map of my anatomy is built into your brain
and the nerve endings are excited
spinal cord reminiscence
awake my dusty adrenal glands

but as soon as breathing changes
sadly we are interrupted
an uncomfortable force
lumbering awkwardly
rests at the bedside

we hadn’t kissed in three weeks
today is no different

Slick,
slick yellow lining
it protrudes from chins
and abdomens
and arms.
one can pass down genes
but just as easily
chicken fried steak
crisco
lard.
siempre son gordos
that is not genetic.

Though my eyes be white
my thoughts be not
and I often imagine
our brains as one

and what’s on that mind
lies a single obsession
and to get there
we venture

being the gentleman
you begin our journey
and with coy words
you leave me guessing where we may end up
but assure we will arrive

but when you're worn out
I assist you
and show you
through tender touch and tongue
where we head

and finally we arrive
san disturbance
and our actions remain unjudged

Since when has it been acceptable
to insult and torment
to label "disgusting"
and insist you hold nothing but hatred

make a mockery--
leave crying on
carpeted floors
circus fools

then to have such a sudden revelation
of the wrongs committed
and use the voice of sinners
I recognize
to act like but the best of friends
ignorant fool

"I love you,
but rather your convenience.
your open pantry
and channels.

the quick fix of your generous lips
weekly dose of human affection.
I dislike your distance
but make no effort to prolong it.

spare me the detail of your accomplishments:
your petty achievements.
i am far too preoccupied
with an unbalanced slumber.

i love you,
but rather your convenience."

your stomping and shaking
cause violence in my eardrums
and riots in her ribs

but your actions go unpunished
and remain unpunished
therefore I waited
with sticky
swollen eyelids
for justice
right and truthful discipline

burden: you are
let us weigh your heavy heart

Let me be a woman you write of
with montaña curves
tuffs of hair

I want to be admired like chile
and upheld like your literature
kiss me with ink and paper
acid free
and coo me with love letters from mistaken authors

pablo, release your fire
and aim towards my fur;
Am I not a worthy candidate
for an unhealthy obsession

These entities are unable to be verbalized
the most pleasurable
the most relaxing
I fall asleep to them
but avoid them in conversation.
maybe if I hold my tongue
wet and sandy
you’ll forget the topic.
the world of ***** gum
and cortexes
cannot meet

I surely must be that
woman you speak of
who calls herself an artist
when she is obviously not
who’s makeup is horrifying
and has an opposition to pants

when really

she makes art
which makes her an artist
and she loves the fact
that others enjoy
when she wears that makeup
because of compliments
and doesn’t wear pants
because her boyfriend likes it

so greetings
I am that woman

My favorite times with you
are spent with our lips
we stand above stove tops
and smell like smoke
politely kiss the cook
and sample
and pick
and when finished
we share body heat
with hot foods
and after we finish
we allow little time for settling stomachs
because our bodies move
in what was once a gentle touch of flesh
and as food sits in my stomach
we tumble
and breathe hot air in each other's faces
you are as rough with me
as you are with your food
but I enjoy
entering just the same

We are friends
we are burdens
I’ll send her forget me nots
but at her touch they whither
she is wind
she is air
she whispers through my fingers
maybe shell visit
bearing gifts of complaints
no one cares for

but when called for
she sends tsunamis
she swaddled me with water
I initiated destruction
sweet salt
and red veins
my eyes are but an ocean
the wind has picked up
she blew out candles
despite her lapse of absence
she comes with wholesome concern
she is worth a wait
or more